Don't Cry For Me
*in loving memory of rei ayanami and shinji ikari*
(EVANGELION DOES NOT BELONG TO ME!)
Rei shivered as the cold clear water streamed from the
faucet onto her newly burnt fingers. She cautiously
looked up at Shinji, studying his frustrated expression
as carefully as a scientist would look through a
microscope.
"Does it hurt?" Shinji asked thoughtfully. Rei softly
shook her head and lowered her eyes as if she had been
spying on him. Shinji gave her a quick smile and turned
back to the tea.
"I think you put too much in there," Shinji admitted,
after studying the kettle for awhile. Rei apologized and
said, "I've never made tea before."
Rei reached for two teacups while Shinji emptied the
kettle. Acting unlike his usual self, Shinji knocked
over the rest of the cups in his haste to return the
teakettle to Rei. The chipped porcelain teacup nearest
to the edge dropped quickly to the ground, shattering
and an ear-piercing echo followed.
Shinji stumbled over his words to apologize while Rei
calmly bent down to pick up the pieces. There was an
embarrassed silence as Shinji imitated her responsible
move and also squatted down to clean the mess of sharp
pieces.
"I-I'm really sorry," Shinji stuttered as he tried once
again to apologize. "I'll buy you another set of cups if
you'd like."
Rei lifted her head and stared Shinji in the face with
the intense look she was famous for.
"It's alright," she said, gathering a few more porcelain
pieces with her long thin fingers. "You don't have to.
No one ever comes to visit me besides you and..."
Rei bit her lip and turned her head to the side, looking
extremely uncomfortable. Shinji saw that and decided to
change the subject.
"Well... umm... did you know that my mother died 10
years ago?" Shinji speedily added.
"Yes," Rei sympathized, "and I am very sorry."
They both stared over at Rei's untidy living room and
cleaned more broken pieces off the floor as the awkward
silence beat down on them for a long while.
Finally there was only a large piece left on the floor,
and they both reached for it simultaneously,
accidentally brushing their hands together.
Shinji turned a deep crimson red and was about to tell
her how sorry he was when she waved her hand to silence
him.
"You know, sometimes I feel like the pieces of this
broken cup. I am scattered all around. Everywhere. And
each part of me is different. Only when reassembled can
I recognize myself as what I truly am. So the way you
see me may just be a bit of me. When glued back
together, I may not be as flawless," Rei explained.
Shinji glanced at her in awe. He had never heard her
talk so much, make so much sense. He had always thought
of her as the dependable, quiet, anti-social girl whom
his father spoke to often, never as the philosophical
friend she was today.
Rei looked into his eyes and focused onto him, seemingly
taking all of Shinji's soul into herself, merging with
it, and returning it just as it was. She gave the
tiniest smile anyone could ever create and stood up
abruptly.
It was as if they didn't have to communicate in words, a
union of souls was enough for Shinji and Rei to
understand each other completely.
As Shinji quietly stepped out of Rei's home, he looked
back at her lonely face that didn't look at barren as it
was before. Something about this visit, this place, and
her, gave him a feeling of safety and pleasantness that
he hadn't felt since he was a toddler. Love.
That was the memory Shinji recalled as Rei was killed.
She sacrificed herself for him, knowing that he would
avenge her, he would forgive her, and he would forever
love her, as she had secretly loved him all along. Rei
knew this was the only way for their loving and care to
last an eternity.
She didn't need to tell him anything at all, but she
did, as a sort of will, a bittersweet goodbye. Left on
his bed back at Misato's home was a note that read:
Dear Shinji,
I am watching you from above. Please do not be sad for
me, as this is my destiny. Fate brought us together and
apart, and we mustn't run away from reality. When hard
times come, I will always be at your side, guiding you.
Never give up, Shinji. Keep living... for me.
Love,
Rei
*in loving memory of rei ayanami and shinji ikari*
(EVANGELION DOES NOT BELONG TO ME!)
Rei shivered as the cold clear water streamed from the
faucet onto her newly burnt fingers. She cautiously
looked up at Shinji, studying his frustrated expression
as carefully as a scientist would look through a
microscope.
"Does it hurt?" Shinji asked thoughtfully. Rei softly
shook her head and lowered her eyes as if she had been
spying on him. Shinji gave her a quick smile and turned
back to the tea.
"I think you put too much in there," Shinji admitted,
after studying the kettle for awhile. Rei apologized and
said, "I've never made tea before."
Rei reached for two teacups while Shinji emptied the
kettle. Acting unlike his usual self, Shinji knocked
over the rest of the cups in his haste to return the
teakettle to Rei. The chipped porcelain teacup nearest
to the edge dropped quickly to the ground, shattering
and an ear-piercing echo followed.
Shinji stumbled over his words to apologize while Rei
calmly bent down to pick up the pieces. There was an
embarrassed silence as Shinji imitated her responsible
move and also squatted down to clean the mess of sharp
pieces.
"I-I'm really sorry," Shinji stuttered as he tried once
again to apologize. "I'll buy you another set of cups if
you'd like."
Rei lifted her head and stared Shinji in the face with
the intense look she was famous for.
"It's alright," she said, gathering a few more porcelain
pieces with her long thin fingers. "You don't have to.
No one ever comes to visit me besides you and..."
Rei bit her lip and turned her head to the side, looking
extremely uncomfortable. Shinji saw that and decided to
change the subject.
"Well... umm... did you know that my mother died 10
years ago?" Shinji speedily added.
"Yes," Rei sympathized, "and I am very sorry."
They both stared over at Rei's untidy living room and
cleaned more broken pieces off the floor as the awkward
silence beat down on them for a long while.
Finally there was only a large piece left on the floor,
and they both reached for it simultaneously,
accidentally brushing their hands together.
Shinji turned a deep crimson red and was about to tell
her how sorry he was when she waved her hand to silence
him.
"You know, sometimes I feel like the pieces of this
broken cup. I am scattered all around. Everywhere. And
each part of me is different. Only when reassembled can
I recognize myself as what I truly am. So the way you
see me may just be a bit of me. When glued back
together, I may not be as flawless," Rei explained.
Shinji glanced at her in awe. He had never heard her
talk so much, make so much sense. He had always thought
of her as the dependable, quiet, anti-social girl whom
his father spoke to often, never as the philosophical
friend she was today.
Rei looked into his eyes and focused onto him, seemingly
taking all of Shinji's soul into herself, merging with
it, and returning it just as it was. She gave the
tiniest smile anyone could ever create and stood up
abruptly.
It was as if they didn't have to communicate in words, a
union of souls was enough for Shinji and Rei to
understand each other completely.
As Shinji quietly stepped out of Rei's home, he looked
back at her lonely face that didn't look at barren as it
was before. Something about this visit, this place, and
her, gave him a feeling of safety and pleasantness that
he hadn't felt since he was a toddler. Love.
That was the memory Shinji recalled as Rei was killed.
She sacrificed herself for him, knowing that he would
avenge her, he would forgive her, and he would forever
love her, as she had secretly loved him all along. Rei
knew this was the only way for their loving and care to
last an eternity.
She didn't need to tell him anything at all, but she
did, as a sort of will, a bittersweet goodbye. Left on
his bed back at Misato's home was a note that read:
Dear Shinji,
I am watching you from above. Please do not be sad for
me, as this is my destiny. Fate brought us together and
apart, and we mustn't run away from reality. When hard
times come, I will always be at your side, guiding you.
Never give up, Shinji. Keep living... for me.
Love,
Rei