Happy Apocalypse Day, everyone! Here's a high school AU. This was written for a captchalogue prompt requesting badfic.

That says so much, really.

Also, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not saying that to be humble, I really don't. If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.

Taikyoku

Prologue

"But it wasn't meeeeee-"

Slick looked up as the whine approached the door. He flipped the switchblade between his fingers and then slid the card into his boot, but didn't bother moving his feet from where they rested on the top of the desk.

The door swung open too fast, slamming against the painted cinderblock wall with a bang. The teacher jumped but recovered fast. He caught the door on the rebound and shoved the still-whining Dersite inside with his free hand. Then he moved the door back and forth, frowning at the lack of resistance.

"Hi!" said the Dersite.

"No talking," snapped the teacher, still staring at the door. "I thought I set this to stay open."

"Musta broke," Slick said.

The teacher looked up. The metal hinge of the door closer had separated. He looked down. Two pieces of a broken screw was by his shoe.

"I heard something snap," Droog volunteered levelly. "Old building. Stuff breaks."

He glared at all of them. "I'll be back with the janitor. Don't think you can try anything while I'm gone."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Slick promised, earning a second, more personal glare.

The door shut with a bang. The new Dersite said, "I'm-"

"No talking!" came through the door. He jumped. The other three exchanged disapproving looks as they heard the footsteps head down the hall.

Droog spoke. "You're Deuce, right?"

"Yeah!" The Dersite looked back at the door suddenly.

"He can't hear ya now," said the biggest Dersite from his corner seat near the window.

"So what are you in for, kid?"

"Hey, you're not any older than I am!" Deuce said indignantly.

"Who asked you?" Slick snarled, pulling his feet off the desk and sitting up like he was about to lunge, fury radiating off him.

Droog made an unimpressed sound to his left. Slick spun and glared at him. "You got something you wanna say?"

The taller Dersite shrugged, not rising to the bait. "I'm surprised you're not taking the opportunity to try to pry something else out of the door with him gone. It was just a screw. The janitor will be able to fix that easily."

Slick sat back in his seat again, throwing his legs up onto the desk. "Nah," he said with lazy confidence. He looked back to Deuce again. "Jeez, sit down. And take off that stupid hat."

"I like my hat," said Deuce as he climbed into one of the chairs, unperturbed by the criticism.

"No one could like that hat," Droog said flatly. "It's an abomination."

Slick glanced at him approvingly. "You got that right. I wouldn't wear that thing if you held a knife to my throat."

"I don't think it's so bad," said Boxcars.

Droog very deliberately looked him over, making it clear he didn't approve of anything he saw. "I suppose you would," he said blackly. "You look like you got lost a fight with a tiedye machine."

"Hey, what would-"

Slick held up a hand suddenly, then swiped it in a cutting motion. He jerked his head toward the door. Boxcars stopped talking and they all listened to hear footsteps on tile getting louder.

The teacher opened the door more carefully but still overestimated the force, causing it to smack into the wall again. He ignored that, pointing up. "See? It's broken."

The janitor looked it over coolly, then took in the rest of the room. Slick smirked. "I see."

"How long will it take you to fix it?"

She shrugged laconically. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" he repeated

"Probably longer," she said. "Since we're busy fixing the pipes. It needs a particular part, has to be special ordered, no helping it. I'll have to fill out a requisition form, get it approved by my boss, drive out to get it..." She shrugged again, as if to say What can you do? "You know how these things are."

"I don't."

"Well there's no helping it. I'll go look for the form." She headed off languidly. The teacher glared after her, then at them again.

"Well then," he muttered. He grabbed one of the desks and dragged it forward to prop the door open. Instead of holding it in place, the desk's metal legs slid over the tile. He grunted in irritation and pulled it further in, managing to trap the desk between door and doorway. "There."

"Hey, y'can't do that," said Boxcars. "That's the only exit to th' room. Y'can't block it, 's illegal."

Deuce nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, what if there was a fire?"

"Oh, you'd know about that, wouldn't you?" he snapped.

Deuce sank back in his seat. "It wasn't me," he whined again. "Circumstantial evidence, that's all."

"They're right though," Droog interjected over the smaller Dersite's complaints. "Sir."

The teacher scowled and shoved the desk out again. "I'll be back again," he promised.

Slick waited until the door shut again before sneering derisively. Then he sent a triumphant look at Droog. "See?"

"Could fix that with a paper clip," Droog said in disgust.

"Maybe you could," Slick said smugly, "but he can't and the janitor's not about to do it, so unless you're volunteering to help him out with your handy little skills, that door's staying broke." He tilted his chair further back and rested his arms behind his head.

"So what did ya do?" Boxcars asked Deuce.

"Cherry bombs in the bathroom," he said.

Slick whistled approvingly. "That was you?"

"Yeah."

"You can't do that much damage with cherry bombs," Droog said.

"Not with the joke kind they sell," Deuce explained, "but I made these ones. Plus I had a bunch. They do more damage together."

Slick said, "Lemme guess, you got caught trying to set off another batch."

"I did not! What do you think, that I'm stupid?"

"Yes." Droog gestured with a vague motion that might have been to his hat or simply all of him.

"Well I'm not! I know how to sneak around. But they did a search and found some left in my locker."

"You kept them in your locker?" Slick raised his eyebrows. "Ballsy."

"Dumb."

"Well what would you have done?" Deuce demanded of Droog peevishly. "I had to keep them somewhere."

"The hedges," he replied instantly. "The ones right up against the building. It's not the first place they'll look and even if they do find something they can't prove whose it was."

"Yeah, well, least he did something," said Boxcars.

Droog crossed his arms. "So? Why didn't he blow up the teacher's lounge or some place useful like that? All he managed was to make a mess that inconvenienced us at least as much as them. I had classes in that wing."

"Boxcars' got it right, fuck did you do?" Slick demanded. "You keep acting like you're better'n all of us but you're stuck here too."

"I'm 'stuck here' for beating up Trace. Fucker tripped me yesterday. He'll think twice about trying anything like that next time."

"Yesterday? What took ya so long, I'd've just clocked him one," Boxcars said, smacking one fist into his palm for emphasis. "And I'd've done it out of sight, wouldn't've got caught."

"Wanted to be sure which one of them it was. Figured it was either him or Fin." Droog shrugged. "Now I know, and he knows I know and what I'll do if he tries anything again. And that having to sit around for a day or two in detention doesn't matter to me, so he can forget any smart ideas about sticking near teachers to avoid me." He looked over at Boxcars. "And if you're so careful about where you have your fights, how'd you end up here?"

"Wasn't a fight is how. Got me for inappropriate literature."

Slick made a face. "Ugh, what were you leaving smut around for?"

"What were they doin' looking around for it? They don't like it they shouldn't be poking their noses in."

"What about you?" Droog said. "We've all said why we're here. You?"

"In-sub-or-di-na-tion," he said with relish. "They've been on my back trying to catch me selling anise cuz some fucker tipped them off or somethin', but they haven't got a clue what they're doing." He reached up, pulled a card from his hat, flipped it and held out his hand.

"Ooh," said Deuce, staring at the pile of black gummy bears sitting in Slick's palm.

Slick flipped it again and slid the card out of sight into his hat. "Makes for a good bargaining piece. Offer people a nice deal and they're happy to look the other way about the rest of it, you know?" He smirked. "Told ya the door wasn't going to get fixed."

"Not bad," said Boxcars, and Droog nodded approvingly, then said, "Surprised, you don't seem like..."

"Hey, I didn't say I was doing the stuff, did I?" Slick said defensively. "Got to stay sharp to deal without getting caught. They're dumb but they're not that dumb ya know." He shrugged. "If some idiot wants to use it to make school a bit more interesting, well that's not my problem."

"They don't approve."

"Well that fucking bitch isn't around right now!" Slick snarled. "The both of them are off doing their stupid bullshit and I don't give a flying fuck what they approve of me doing."

Boxcars and Deuce looked horrified. "You can't talk about them like that," said Boxcars. "They'll...

"Well I just fucking did," Slick said. "What can they do about it?"

But Droog nodded slowly and noncommittally. "They keep things running smoothly, though. And keep teachers off our backs."

"Fuck them," Slick sneered. "If I was in charge...None of this bullshit about rules, and -" He gestured around the room. "This. Or all this fucking - it's like some fucking cold war, neither of them are willing to just fucking end it, all out winner takes all, they're just fucking skirmishing and won't commit to anything, if I was in charge it'd be different."

"Really," Droog said slowly. He sounded interested. "What did you have in mind?"