The day Richard Castle said goodbye to his mother was the hardest day of his life. Though the oncologists had said that the liver cancer had spread too far, he never understood it until he cradled her in his arms as she took her last breath. He vehemently denied that she was gone for the four days leading up to her funeral, instead choosing to lock himself in his office and get friendly with a bottle of Scotch. Alexis had been beside herself trying to draw him out; once again, she had to be the adult in the relationship, holding her father upright while trying to mourn on her own.
Not knowing what else to do, Alexis picked up her phone and called the one person she knew could help her father. To her disappointment, the call went to voicemail.
"Hey, it's Alexis. I know it's been nearly two years, but we need you. Well, he needs you." She paused and exhaled heavily. "Grams died three days ago. Her funeral is tomorrow at noon. " She paused again, not knowing what else to say. "I know you probably hate him for leaving and never calling. I can't change that, but he needs you. We both need you. He can't do this alone. If you're not busy, we'd really appreciate if you came."
X
The day of the funeral, to Alexis' surprise, Castle opened the door to his office without saying a word, and spent the entire morning in the shower. Alexis braided her own hair, put on the slightest touch of mascara and had donned her black dress and heels by the time her father appeared in his suit. Together they left the apartment, climbed into the towncar and rode to the cemetery in complete silence, each completely absorbed in their own thoughts. Alexis had no idea what her father was thinking, but she found herself pleading with the powers-that-be that the phone call she had made had not been in vain.
Alexis sat her father down in the folding chairs amidst the small crowd of Martha's friends and fellow actors who had come to pay their respects. Castle didn't acknowledge a single person or their condolences, leaving Alexis to migrate through the crowd with hasty remarks of gratitude while her father stared at the casket. Finally someone laid a hand gently on her shoulder from behind and Alexis turned to see familiar hazel eyes staring down at her and feel a wave of relief wash over her.
"Kate," Alexis murmured. "I'm so glad you came." Kate wrapped her arms around Alexis, squeezing with a mother's tenderness.
"How are you holding up?" Kate's voice was quiet, not allowing anyone around them to overhear. Alexis felt her chest tighten a little bit, but pushed it away; she wouldn't break down. Not here, at least.
"I'm okay." She pulled away and gestured to her father. "He, on the other hand…" Kate nodded. "I don't know what to do, Kate."
"I'll take care of him." Kate hugged Alexis again. "Come on." They walked up to the casket together and stopped in front of Castle, who finally broke his staring contest with the wood and looked up at them. To Alexis' shock, his face remained emotionless as he locked eyes with Kate. "Hey, Castle." Castle stood and offered his hand.
"Thank you for coming," he said robotically. Kate raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to him.
"Castle, come here." She pulled him into her and Alexis watched her father stoically reciprocate the hug. "It's okay, Rick." Before Alexis knew it, Castle crumpled into Kate's arms, sobbing into her neck. "I know. I'm here. It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay."
X
That night, after sharing a dinner of Chinese food in Martha's memory, Kate and Castle disappeared to the master bedroom, leaving Alexis to herself in the kitchen. The loft was eerily silent following the departure of the two adults, allowing Alexis to finally take a breath. She didn't even want to think about what her father and Kate were doing in the bedroom, and, frankly, she decided that she didn't want to know, choosing instead to walk into Castle's office and sink down into his office chair. Castle had half a dozen photos framed on his desk, mostly of the two of them, but one caught her eye; right next to where his laptop would be, Castle had a framed photo of him with his arms wrapped around Alexis and Martha at one of his book launch parties. She gingerly lifted the frame up and stared intently at the face she would never see again.
"Hey," a voice said from the doorway, and Alexis glanced up to see Kate in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, her arms crossed over her chest. "You alright?" Alexis wordlessly turned the frame and Kate's face melted into a sympathetic smile. "That's a great picture."
"Yeah," Alexis agreed, her breath hitching. She could feel the tightness in her chest, but she wouldn't cry in front of Kate. No, she had to be strong.
"Alexis?" Kate came around Castle's desk and stood next to the chair. "It's okay. I know it hurts." Alexis could feel her eyes burning. "Come here, sweetheart." Alexis stood up and let herself get wrapped up in Kate's long arms. Her head came to rest on Kate's shoulder. "It's okay to cry." Alexis sniffled and shook her head.
"No," she whispered. "I can't. I have to be an adult."
"Oh, Alexis," Kate murmured. "I was your age when my mom died. I know it hurts, believe me, I know. Come here." With her arms still locked around Alexis, Kate slid to the floor and leaned against the desk. "It's okay. I won't tell your dad." Alexis laughed hoarsely a few times before breaking down completely. Kate didn't speak again, just combing her fingers through Alexis' hair and squeezing her tight. "I know, hon, I know." A few minutes, Alexis had slowed to sniffles and shuddering breathes.
"Does it ever stop hurting?" Kate shook her head.
"No. It'll always hurt, but it'll hurt less and less as you get older." Alexis nodded and sighed into Kate's chest, wiping at her eyes with a hand.
"Thank you, Kate."
"For what?"
"For taking care of my dad. I know you care about him. Thank you for being there today. He couldn't have done it without you." She shifted up to look Kate in the eye. Kate smiled gently and kissed Alexis' forehead.
"No problem."
"Will you stay?" Kate smiled.
"Always."