Don't Know: Songfic

by Idle Stripe

Draco's heading off to become a Death Eater. Will Tora be able to wait for him? Songfic to Joanne's 'Don't Know'. Rated for language, mostly. DracoOC.

-'Don't Know'

-A 'Harry Potter' songfic-

=^w^=

Author's Note: Ignore the fact that the song is upbeat; for the sake of this fanfiction, please pretend the music is more melancholy.

=^w^=

The beautiful day just didn't do the ominous feeling in the air justice, the contradiction going unnoticed by the people gathered on the shores of the lake on Hogwarts grounds. The white tomb in the centre of the shore gleamed in the brilliant light, the same light reflecting off the tears shed by the vast majority of the attendants hugging and condoling each other. The world – both magic and non – had lost a brave and brilliant man, slain by the hand of a man whom everyone thought was trustworthy and reliable. Hmph, showed how much they know.

Sitting on the steps of the castle that served as a magical educational institution were twins, both with striped hair and gold eyes and both gazing out at the gathering sadly. The female twin fiddled with a jade snake that was secured around her neck, while the male twin rubbed her shoulders and rested his head on her shoulder.

"It's not fair, Ryu," she sighed finally, "Why is it that the most courageous of us are the most foolhardy?"

"I don't know, Tora. Be thankful we're intelligent and not impulsive." he replied, running his hand over her shoulder blades. The female twin nodded and rested her head on her brother's, exhaling again and running her finger over the coils of the snake sitting just underneath her collar bone.

As the congregation in front of them began to dissipate, the twins stood up and moved forward to join a small group in front of them, a group that consisted of their mother Rhea and older sister Rune, Remus Lupin and his partner Nymphadora Tonks (whose hair was the darkest ebony to match in with the day) and Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody.

"There you two are," Rhea said as her two youngest approached, "We thought you weren't going to join us."

"I couldn't, Mum. Not after..." Tora trailed off and left the comment hanging in the air.

"It's alright, Tora. At least you were able to watch the ceremony." the werewolf said, clapping her full-heartedly on the shoulder, "No-one thinks any worse of you."

"You obviously haven't been inside Ron's head recently, then." Ryu muttered, which earned him a smack from his older sister. The Metamorphmagus laughed loudly, the thought of being in the sixth Weasley's head making her eyes spill over with tears that made passers-by look at her curiously. They were quickly dismissed by a gold stare.

"When did you find out?" Alastor asked. Tora looked up at the ex-Auror and sighed; it was as if his electric blue eye could see right through her.

"...before he brought the Death Eaters into the school." the youngest twin said sadly.

=^w^=

You got the news today, said I was happy for you

So you got to go away and do what you gotta do

But in my mind I keep asking myself why

Why do I have to let you go; why must I say goodbye?

=^w^=

Back at home, Tora gazed out of the window of her bedroom and fiddled with the necklace again, her eyes glazed over with a sadness no-one could cure. Ryu had tried coaxing her out with spending time together at the skate park down the road (that failed), Rune had tried blackmailing her out with photographs of her in a short dress (that failed), and Rhea had tried forcing her out using magic (guess what? That failed too). Giving up, the three Altonas retreated to the kitchen, where Rhea made green tea and served plum buns as comfort.

"She'll talk when she's ready." Ryu said finally as he bit into one of the treats.

"It's not healthy," Rune spat, "Just because she's smitten with the loser-"

"Rune." Rhea warned. The eldest sibling shut up immediately, looking over at the door where her family was. Tora had appeared in the doorway, rubbing at her reddening eyes to keep from crying.

"Story time." she said softly, sitting down beside her mother.

I was walking out of Charms on this particular day, with the intention to go back to the common room and get in at least fifteen minutes of napping before afternoon classes started. I'd done half of it; I'd gotten back to the common room but I hadn't napped. An owl was waiting for me on one of the chairs when I entered (stupid portrait chose that day to change her riddle) and with it came a note from...from Draco.

'Come to the Room of Requirement', the note said.

I crumpled it up, shoved it into a pocket of my robe and left my books with the owl. Looking back on it, the sneaky idiot used Aquila (1) to message me. I raced out of the common room and to the designated meeting place as fast as my anaemia would let me.

"So you didn't go to classes that afternoon?" Ryu asked.

SMACK. "Ow, Rune!"

Anyway, I got there and he was waiting outside for me, dressed in that black suit that made him look like a professional mourner. He opened the door and we went inside, the room having transformed itself into a parlour-like place. There was a fireplace and everything.

I walked over to the couch in the middle of the room and sat down, the material plush underneath me. I'm still wearing my school robes at this point so I felt underdressed for the whole occasion. He...he sat beside me and brought my hands to his lips, kissing my fingers lazily before looking me in the eyes.

"You know I really like you," he said to me, "I don't want you to get hurt in this..."

"What are you talking about?" I asked him. He dropped my hands and stood up, pacing a little bit before he dropped to his knees in front of me.

To tell you the truth it scared me a little.

"I'm..." He drew a breath, "I'm going to invite my father and some other Death Eaters into the school soon, Tora. I'm going to become one of them."

"Calm down sweetheart," Rhea wiped at the stray tears on her youngest daughter's cheeks, "You're nearly there." Tora nodded and swallowed.

I nearly screamed at him then and there, but I realised that he was doing this of his own will. No curses, no hexes, nothing. I smiled at him, though I think he could tell it didn't quite reach my eyes.

"If that's what it takes to uphold your name..." I told him, "then I won't stop you." He looked at me...before he reached into his pocket...

"...and gave you your necklace." Rune finished as her sister finally released all her emotions, resting her head on her mother's shoulder. Ryu stood up and walked around the table, offering his twin a hug from the side Rhea hadn't covered, while Rune reached over and took Tora's hand.

It just wasn't fair.

=^w^=

I'll be smiling on the outside, wishing you well

But I'm dying on the inside; it's hurting me like hell

Don't know how to let you go

I just don't know

=^w^=

"I just don't understand it," Rhea waved her wand and several plates flew from the draining rack to the cupboard, "He seemed like such a sweet boy."

"What's the saying about the rose and the thorns?" Ryu replied as he stuck his hands into the soapy water again. Dinner had been a quiet affair that night, with Tora eating as much as her body dictated then going to bed; all that crying had drained her energy.

"I wouldn't say rose..." Rune stabbed violently at a wandering vine before returning to taking off its dead leaves, "And I wouldn't say thorns, either."

"You just don't like him because you've never met the guy. He was always so snarky to me; never liked him from the get-go, but Tora was absolutely smitten."

"Stars in the eyes?"

"And in the air."

"Wow."

"Rune, Ryu," The two shut up at their mother's insistence, "Remember that this is Tora's choice. She cannot deny her heart nor can she openly discuss her choice without it tearing her to pieces. She's just like her father; exterior is as calm as a garden wedding, interior is as rowdy as the pre-wedding planning." Two sets of gold eyes blinked at the matriarch, her analogy really throwing their brains for a loop. What the hell did a wedding have to do with their sibling's relationship with the Prince of Slytherin, or whatever it was the fans called him in Hogwarts?

"Wait, now that you mention it Tora is a lot like Dad." Rune muttered, stabbing at the vine creeping up her arm again. It let out a high-pitched strangled whine and retreated again.

"Yeah, he used to do the same thing, but when he didn't think people were watching him he'd drop his guard and show you what he was really thinking." The male twin looked at the staircase that led to the upper floor of their house, catching a flick of orange and black hair before returning to washing the dishes.

What could they offer her, anyway? They were her family, not her first love.

=^w^=

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say

Don't know if I'll get through or if this pain will go away

Don't know if I can breathe, just don't know what to feel

'Cause I don't know anything but you

=^w^=

The next day dawned over the Altona house, the residents still asleep. The sun stabbed at the curtains preventing entrance into the house, almost setting them on fire with its need to get inside and warm up the place.

Well, at least one person was cooperating.

Tora had already opened her curtains and was towel-drying her hair as the sun hit her floor, random pieces of parchment and Aquila's feathers strewn about the chocolate carpet. The downy feathers tickled her bare feet as she walked to her closet, but she paid it no attention. She was as numb as a naked corpse in the middle of Antarctica anyway; what was one more feeling to add to the list?

Opening her closet, she examined each item of her clothing with a critical eye as if scouring them of her past actions and consequences. Her Hogwarts robes hung at one end of the closet, the blue and bronze Ravenclaw eagle glimmering in whatever light the sun was providing in the small space. An assortment of shirts and jackets hung along the wall in front of her uniform, interspersed with a set of dress robes, three little black dresses (at her mother's insistence) and on the floor were several pairs of shoes, some of them expensive collector's items. Pulling out her faithful black sneakers with white swirls drawn all over them she threw them onto her bed, as well as a pair of black jeans and a green –

Looking over her shoulder, Tora nearly erupted into a new wave of tears when she caught sight of the shirt she'd thrown on top of her jeans. Ripping it away she threw it into her clothes hamper where it magically disappeared, only to reappear in the laundry.

"I'm being ridiculous," she chided herself, "He chose this; this was his decision." Pulling on her chosen clothes as well as a black long-sleeved shirt underneath a blue vest she descended the stairs to the kitchen, where her mother was sipping at a cup of green tea and staring at her hands. Rhea looked up as her youngest approached, looking decidedly better than yesterday.

"Morning, Mum." Tora said, grabbing a cup for herself.

"Morning Tora," the matriarch replied, "I want you to tell me another story." Tora froze, staring into her steaming cup. After telling the story yesterday she didn't think she could tell the one her mother was thinking of.

Her mother was never wrong when it came to her children.

"Wh-which story?" she stuttered, trying to feign innocence. Rhea sighed.

"Tora, don't try to avoid the request. You act like your father when you do that. Now please..." As the youngest sat down, she didn't miss the wince as she caught sight of a green cloth, "Tell me what happened on top of that tower."

=^w^=

It's time to say goodbye, I wish you'd just walk away

If you touch me one more time I'm breaking down and I'll beg you to stay

Now I'm letting go, my heart is breaking up in two

But I'll close the door and turn around; I just want the best for you

=^w^=

The two cups were empty and left on the kitchen table as the two women made their way into the living room, the younger trying to come up with a starting point for her requested story. Sitting down on the leather couch, Rhea gently took her daughter's hand and looked at her with imploring gold eyes. There was no questioning where the Altona children got their looks, despite Ryu's protests that he was his father's son.

The only thing he got from his father was his brain, according to Rhea.

"If I collapse on you, I'm holding you responsible." Tora said, looking at her mother. The matriarch nodded.

"Of course, honey." she said, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

Okay, I'll start at the beginning. Fenrir Greyback had cornered me in the Entrance Hall and held his wand to my throat, demanding I go with him. He somehow got word of...of our relationship – if you could call it that – and he wanted the both of us there to witness the event. With a wand at my throat and a crazy bitch holding it, how could I say no? He led me to the other Death Eaters who had gathered at the foot of the stairs, grinning like the madman he was.

"Lookie here!" he screeched, "It's your girlie!"

"Let her go!" he screamed at her, "She has nothing to do with this!"

"She's a pureblood and needs to learn." his father said sternly, yanking him back as he tried to move forward. By this point in time I'd already made up my mind not to ally myself with Death Eaters or the Dark Side in general, but...you know...

"I know. Keep going."

"Thanks, Mum."

So we all climbed the stairs to the tower, where Professor Dumbledore was waiting for us by himself as was stated in the agreement. His eyes widened slightly when they fell on me. At least, I think they widened; he was a man of great facial hair.

"Tora?" he asked. Fenrir pushed his wand further into my throat when I opened my mouth to answer him. I let out choking sounds as my communication, something that made him cringe at every sound that passed my lips. His father pushed him forward hurriedly.

"Do it, Draco." he hissed. He raised his wand – mine was in his other hand thanks to my captors – and pointed it shakingly at our previous Headmaster.

But he couldn't do it.

"Avada Kedavra." Professor Snape's wand was raised as the spell flew forward, hitting Professor Dumbledore square in the chest and causing him to topple off the tower. The only thing that stopped me from screaming was the wand at my throat; I think he was trying to kill me without the use of magic. The Death Eaters then filed out of the room, but not before I was thrust into his...his arms by Fenrir, who was being shot a dirty look by Professor Snape.

"This Greyback fellow...he doesn't sound nice."

"He's a werewolf, Mum. Scratched up Ron's older brother Bill in his human form; that's why he has those scars on his face."

"Don't come back next year." he told me the minute he pulled me aside. At this point I think there was some fighting going on but I don't really remember it.

"What?" I asked him.

"They're going to take over the school; promise me you'll stay away. I don't want to see your name in the obituaries." I shook my head at him.

"I'm an Altona, Draco," I said, "I'm not going to be kept away from anything, so you can count on both myself and Ryu being here next year. Besides, if I know your counterparts the school takeover won't be until about halfway through the year anyway."

"I should really give your intelligence more credit, Tora." he said, smiling a little at me before kissing my senses away then running off with his Death Eater family.

The rest is a blur, but I do remember Harry dragging me outside to the fallen ex-Headmaster...

For the second time in as many days, Tora found herself crying in her mother's embrace. Rhea held her closer and stroked her long hair, still damp from the shower.

"I should've t-told him t-t-to stay with m-me," the youngest Altona sobbed, "I should've sh-shackled him to a w-wall a-and made him st-stay there..."

"Despite having chosen the side that wants to eradicate the better half of the magical world here, Draco is acting on his love for you." the matriarch replied, kissing the crown of Tora's head. Tora nodded into her mother's shoulder and lifted her legs so that she was laying on the couch, draped over her mother like a blanket.

Half an hour later Rune and Ryu meandered into the living room, where they were greeted with the sight of their younger sibling asleep over their mother, who was stroking her hair lazily.

"I'll tell you two the story later." Rhea said softly. The two elder siblings nodded; some things could obviously wait.

=^w^=

I'll be smiling on the outside, wishing you well

But I'm dying on the inside; it's hurting me like hell

I don't know how to let you go

I just don't know

=^w^=

THUMP. SCREECH. THUMP. "Shut up, Aquila." BAM. THUD.

"Tora, what the hell are you doing up here?" Rune opened the door to her sister's bedroom and nearly fell over backward. There were clothes everywhere, even in places she thought they weren't supposed to be. Tora poked her head up from the other side of her bed and blinked at her older sister, a black T-shirt hanging off her ponytail rather dangerously.

"I'm cleaning out my closet." she replied, returning to crawling underneath her bed. The elder female sighed and entered the room, stepping over the small mountain of shoes at the door and sitting on a vacant spot of the bed. She patted her sister's back three times, causing her to look up into honey-brown eyes that sparkled with understanding.

"I thought green was your favourite colour." she said. Tora stood up, pulling the shirt from her head, and fell forward onto her bed beside Rune.

"I thought so too," she replied, though it sounded muffled, "but now I don't know what to think anymore."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say there was a small crisis going on with you right now." Tora lifted her head, gold eyes wide and confused. Rune smiled and rolled her over, pointing to her chest where her heart was.

"This thing wants you to keep a hold of your man until your last breath," she explained, then moved her finger to her head, "while this thing wants you to forget everything about him. I must admit, you were doing such a good job of hiding your inner turmoil, but you're an Altona; you can't hide anything, especially not from us."

"Some days I wish I could; it'd make it easier to forget the feeling of having your heart ripped from your chest by the one who held it for the better half of two years." Honey-brown eyes widened; that long? Sighing, Rune leaned down and placed her head on Tora's stomach, taking her hand and placing it on her own stomach. The two laid like that, in total silence, for the better part of the morning, ignoring the sounds of Rhea teaching Ryu some basic cooking spells.

"Feeling any better?" the elder asked after a particularly loud SMASH.

"Depends, do you count feeling content with my family 'better'?" the younger replied. Rune smiled.

"Suppose we've got to go help him now." she said as the high-pitched scream rang through the house. Tora shook her head.

"Let's stay here a bit longer. We're being civil to each other; let's not ruin it." she replied.

=^w^=

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say

Don't know if I'll get through or if this pain will go away

Don't know if I can breathe, just don't know what to feel

'Cause I don't know anything but you

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say

Don't know if I'll get through or if this pain will go away

Don't know if I can breathe, just don't know what to feel

'Cause I don't know anything but you

=^w^=

"Mum, check this out!"

"Rune, I can't 'check this out' if I can't see 'this' due to you flailing it about." The eldest sibling stopped and handed Rhea a letter that was decorated with intricate swirls in silver and crimson. Raising an eyebrow, the matriarch opened it and pulled out the invitation inside it, reading the words that were flashing silver and black. It was making things difficult, actually.

"So what is it?" Rune asked.

"It's an invitation to Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour's wedding," her mother replied, "They're holding it in about three months from now and they want the twins there as well."

"We can't just pull them from school for – wait, maybe this will be a good thing for her."

"I can just write to the school and say that Ryu and Tora will be taking a year off because we're going to Japan for the same time period. They can make up their final year next year."

"I'll send an RSVP back to the Weasleys and say we're attending the wedding."

"I'll let the twins know what the plan is."

"Too late Mum, we already know." Looking over her shoulder, the matriarch spotted the twins sitting on the couch in the living room, both wearing their robes over their regular clothing and both carrying identical grudges right down to the folded arms and frowns in their faces.

Some days she forgot they were born at the same time.

"So you understand my reasoning," she said, "And don't try to talk your way out of it."

"Make it six months and I'll keep my opinion to myself." Tora said.

"Twelve, and that's final."

"Fine." Everyone looked at the youngest Altona. Did she just...give up on an argument? The ordeal must've damaged her more than they originally thought, if she was half-heartedly starting arguments and then ending them without so much as a sharp glare and an even sharper comment. If only her father could see her now...

"By the way, we're attending a wedding in about three months, so prepare yourselves for travelling." The matriarch turned on her heel and headed for the kitchen again, desperate for coffee; the small conversation had given her a case of lethargy she didn't think she could get. Rune turned back to her brother and sister, only to discover they weren't on the couch anymore; they were outside, Ryu softly stroking the head of a large tiger (2).

"Honestly, you'd think she'd remind us she could do that..." she groaned, walking toward the stairs. Ryu grinned as he heard her footsteps fade then turned to the tiger.

"This wedding will be a great thing for you," he said, "It'll help further your mind from the snake." The tiger growled a little, making him jump.

"Alright alright, forget I said that last part. But I still think it'll be good for you."

"I know, I know..." Tora shook her hair off the back of her neck, "Do you think Mum will cast a Colour-Change Spell on one of my dresses for me?"

"Anything but green, right?"

"...right."

=^w^=

Don't know what to do, don't know what to say

Will I get through when you go away?

Don't know what to do living without you

I don't know anything, anything but you

Don't know if I can breathe, just don't know what to feel

'Cause I don't know anything but you

=^w^=

The security at the wedding was tighter than a fish's arse, but given the circumstances surrounding the contradictory celebration it was necessary. After having their wands checked at the door by an Auror the Altonas entered the tent, immediately greeted by several friends and their family members. It really made Tora wonder just how well-liked the Weasley family was, despite their obvious objection to the genocide that was happening all around them.

Slipping away from the attention she made it to a quiet corner of the tent, the perfect location to watch the bride and groom set the dance floor on fire with the smouldering looks they were giving each other. Bill sure looked happy with his part-Veela wife, who was occasionally brushing her fingers across his cheek to make sure he wasn't an awful illusion.

"Tora, what are you doing all the way back here?" Gold eyes looked up sharply, only to fall onto the eyes of George Weasley. She smiled at him as way of a greeting as he squeezed into the corner beside her, a Butterbeer in his hand.

"I'm trying to avoid Luna and her questions about Japanese food culture," she replied, looking over at the fellow Ravenclaw, "How's the hole?" George absently brought his hand up and swiped at the bandages that covered the side of his head where his left ear used to be, and shrugged.

"Eh, it'll get better," he said, "Why do you have the longest face in this tent despite the fact that I've been told you're getting better?"

"How did you-" Rune suddenly waved at her from the dance floor, "Why is it that everyone's making a point to make me feel better about my...'significant other's' choices? I'm fine, perfectly fine, and the next person who asks me about it will lose more than their ear." Thinking quickly, George steered the youngest Altona outside, shooting a look at Rhea to say 'She's gonna blow'. They sat down on a bench just outside the door, next to a tall man who could fill in for a Quidditch post as well as serve as a wall to practise throwing a Quaffle against.

"Thanks, George." she said. He stood up and planted a brotherly kiss on her head.

"Just come inside when you're ready." he said, rejoining the celebration. Tora sighed and turned back around, resting her chin on her hands and her elbows on her knees. She was lucky her mother changed her black dress into a blue one, otherwise she would've looked a fraction out of place. She scuffed her toes against the dusty ground and sighed.

What good was a party when no-one she really connected with was there?

A small flash of light in the distance caught her eye and she looked up, one hand on her hip where her wand was hidden just in case. As the small rumble came through the earth, the jade snake at her neck warmed up. Looking down at it, Tora discovered it was also glowing too. Standing up from the bench she patted the wall-like man on the arm.

"Get ready." she said before disappearing inside and, after several minutes of worming through the crowd, caught up to her family.

"We need to get out of here," she murmured to Rhea, "Something happened in the distance and I think it's heading this way." The matriarch nodded and, after muttering a quick apology to Molly Weasley, steered her family outside, where the flashing was becoming more pronounced and the rumbles in the earth were becoming stronger.

"Hey Tora, your necklace is glowing," Ryu said, looking at the brightly glowing snake, "Do you think..."

"I certainly do. It's been enchanted to detect Dark magic, so that myself and everyone else around me can escape before anything bad happens." Smiling, Tora gripped the glowing snake, her face lit up like a firework. He'd gotten back on her mind and she didn't really care.

She'd forgotten she was wearing his gift, anyway.

"We'll go by four legs. It'll be safer that way." Rune offered. Nodding, the Altonas transformed and ran into the thick scrub surrounding the wedding area, not looking back as Death Eaters began to arrive and cast their spells. It wasn't their fight, and a certain blond wizard had reminded them of that without disobeying his lord's orders.

Now Tora had to get him off her mind again so she could live, but that was going to be difficult considering the rather large print he'd left on her heart.

=^w^=

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say (Don't know what to do, don't know what to say)

Don't know if I'll get through or if this pain will go away (Will I get through)

Don't know if I can breathe (Don't know what to do living without you)

(I don't know)

=^w^=

In twelve months time, he wanted to return to a normal life.

In twelve months time, he wanted to put all of this Dark magic behind him and forget it ever happened.

In twelve months time, he wanted to embrace his feelings for Tora and take her places that only they could reach together.

In twelve months time...

Draco Malfoy was going to be more than just a figment of her imagination.

=^w^=

'Cause I don't know anything but you

=^w^=

1: Italian for 'eagle'. Both Ryu and Tora have eagle owls as they are a European breed, but Ryu called his 'Washi' which is Japanese for 'eagle'.

2: The entire family are Animagus, with Tora being a tiger, Ryu being a lion, Rune being a panther and Rhea being a leopard.

=^w^=

DISCLAIMER: The disclaimer applies to the characters and settings of the 'Harry Potter' series – J.K. Rowling – the song 'Don't Know' – Joanne – and Tora, Ryu, Rune and Rhea – me.