"Mic Check. Director Fury, This a recorded Audio Message from me to you. For your record, I state my name as Agent Natasha Romanoff, AN: 1-9-8-4. The Date is May the 5th, 2014 and the current time is 9:07 AM."

Nick Fury leaned back in his chair and waited, fingers pressed together in patience.

"As I recall from your instructions, the purpose of this message and others moving forward is to keep you updated on the...subject currently residing with us at the tower. And since this the first message I'm sending you, I might as well start off by explaining the subject as best as I can." A brief pause indicated Romanoff gathering her thoughts. "I suppose we can begin with the physical aspects of her; the subject. I've come to designate her as Ophidia."

Across the table, Hill raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"First and foremost, The subject is roughly four years old and female. Her appearance is strongly reptilian; billions of tiny scales make up the entirety of her light green "skin" and her nose is a hybrid between a human's pointed nose and a snake's slanted snout. Like a reptile, her pupils are slitted and she has nictitating membranes; third eyelids that can close beneath the first and second similar to crocodiles. Amazingly enough, she is warm-blooded and as omnivorous as any human would be. She actually enjoys consuming vegetables like spinach, unlike most children her age." Another short-lived pause. "Her ears are pointed and mildly lengthy, not to mention sensitive enough to pick up on sounds from 30 yards away. Bruce...er, theorizes that she'll be able to hear even farther than that when she reaches full adulthood. With selective hearing involved, she might be able to hear half a mile away...Now, her scalp is the really interesting part. It's...connected, biologically, to 19 different snakes taking the form of her hair, which flows just past shoulder length. Not sure why Hydra would give her this….trait. In any case, she can't exactly control the snakes; she only speaks to them through a mental link and they choose how to respond to the information she gives. Sixteen of the total number of snakes she has are venomous, including a Branded Krait, Inland Taipan, and a Black Mamba. The three less harmful snakes are a Garter snake, A reticulated python and a green anaconda."

Fury blinked. Yeah, he could imagine a few reasons why Hydra would engineer the kid that way.

"As if her hair wasn't enough of a handful, her teeth are a whole other thing. I know I said she's omnivorous and even enjoys vegetables, but she has mostly sharp teeth surrounding her forked tongue with the exception of a few flat teeth towards the back. She also has her own venom that can be injected through biting; an entirely new neurotoxin that even Banner and Stark combined can't seem to create an antivenom for. They're still working on it though. Now, to make matters even more interesting, consider that her lower jaw can split apart to spit a concentrated version of the venom through glands otherwise hidden. This version is highly acidic, even able to eat away at material designed to hold acid. Titanium seems to work, but even then it breaks down within three hours. She only uses it when she has temper tantrums; a quick scolding should get her to stop."

She paused and audibly flipped a bit of paperwork around. "As I mentioned before, her skin is actually a closely knit set of scales all across her body, tougher than they feel. Banner theorizes that she is at least knife-proof and they'll only grow tougher with time. I strongly recommend against testing her skin for its limits using knives it other weaponry, as it may have damaging emotional effects. If fact, I didn't quite mention before, but when the serpents perceive a threat to Ophidia based on her emotions they will become highly hostile with other organisms. Testing her skin for its properties would enrage all nineteen snakes and perhaps she herself would react violently out of instinct, " She explained briskly. "There's an odd bone structure right around the middle of her spine, but it doesn't appear to impede body movement. Her fingers and toes are like the pads of a gecko, helping to climb walls if she desires to and they are all spotted naturally. On command, she can unsheath 2 inch claws from these slits for other purposes. I suppose the last physical detail to note of is her bioluminescence, appearing in the form of bright blue and yellow markings across her face/body."

Once again, she shuffled papers around, then cleared her throat. "Now, for the Emotional Aspects of the subject. When I first brought her to the tower, she was a very antisocial individual and for good reason. I'm still not sure what Hydra did to her before we arrived, and Rogers is still looking around for any files on her in their bases, but whatever they did was severely traumatizing. She doesn't leave the room she's in even if I try to coax her and anyone else entering the room other than me can't get within eight feet of her without having to worry about an acid attack. Even while trusting me the most, she is often wary of any actions I perform for her, as if she is waiting for me to just...hit her or something. She was once covered in scars and bruises, so all my interaction has done is caused her great confusion. No matter how comfortable I get her, I can't get her to relay any events from back in the Hydra base. I'm considering waiting until she is older, fo avoid any extra emotional stress. But other than those things, she is exceptionally pleased to see me when I enter the room and her learning is rather fast. I haven't taught her as much of the English language as I intend to yet, but she has just enough broken English to say things to me. She has the cutest little lisp in her voice, like a little 'Sss' with s words and…"

Nick Fury blinked as Natasha coughed to cover up the giddiness she once had in her voice. Did she say just 'cutest'?

"Um, that's all I have for the time being. When any important events occur in the future, I'll report back here and…" Natasha's voice was cut off by the sound of a door opening in the background, then there was a bit of calm silence. It sounded like Natasha moved to pick up something up from the ground, a little ways from the recorder. "Hey, kiddo. You left your room…?"

A tinier voice piped up, very faintly in the background. "Wanted. See you."

"Well, I'm right here. How ya doing? Ya finished your breakfast…?"

"Mmmhmm. Was. Good."

"Mm, and I bet it was delicious, wasn't it? I'll get one myself later."

The audio cut completely off after that. Fury changed his stare to be focused upon Hill. "So...whats your verdict?"

"The subject seems dangerous, really." Maria nonchalantly explained. "I don't see why she doesn't want to hand it over to us."

"Subject. It. These are the terms Hydra probably uses too. Alienates us from her, Ophidia. Natasha knows this."

Hill grimaced. "So?"

"Treat a kid wrong enough, and they'll grow up to be disloyal. Romanoff knows that our hands or somebody else's will eventually stop caring altogether and create a super-powered, backstabbing assassin. At least with her, the kid can understand things on a more personal level."

"I feel that there's an And coming on."

"And, this is good for her."

"Who?"

"Both of them." Nick Fury stated calmly. "Romanoff called the kid highly antisocial, a near replica of herself. Two people with the same personalities are more likely to work off each other than a kid and a bunch of middle-aged secret agents. You heard it in her voice. She's already attached to the kid anyway. The kid responds more favorably to her. She should stay with Romanoff."

Maria pursed her lips in thought and then spoke after some silence. "I suppose...even if the kid did grow into something dangerous...Romanoff would have enough of an emotional tie to it...her, to be able to reign her in. Wait, this isn't about a potential recruit for the Avengers, right?"

Nick Fury stood up and collected his things, ready to leave. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm letting them stay together because Romanoff needs some damn friends. If that friend has to be some little snake kid, then so be it."

Maria shrugged as she stood too. "I'm the one always encouraging her to go out more."

Well, here's the new story! As I said before, I intend to make this a series of weaved one shots in slice of life style, detailing events from after Winter Soldier to the very end of Endgame. Whether or not these will all be in order is being decided. For now, just sit back and enjoy the cuteness!