A/N: I've been working on this for months, since before May 2011 to be a little more precise! It's been a slow burner for me but I do really enjoy this fic and I hope you will too :)
As I'm sure you will figure out it's set in the final episode of Season 6 with a big change! Read and review please :)
With Or Without You
Chapter 1
~x~
"Meredith" Mark said as he ran to her in the hallways of an almost silent Seattle Grace "Meredith what happened? Meredith?" he said holding her shoulders a little.
"He shot him" Meredith whimpered.
"Well is he, is he ok? Meredith, is he ok?"
"They tried" she choked out "Cristina and Jackson, they really tried, and they were almost done but, he came into the OR, Mr Clark, he came into the OR and when they wouldn't stop trying, when they wouldn't stop, he shot him again, right, right in the heart" she sobbed "He's gone" she said collapsing against Mark's body "He's, he's gone"
"Oh my god" Mark whispered "No, no no he can't be, he can't be" he repeated "He can't be gone"
"Mark he's gone" Meredith sobbed "He's gone and, he doesn't know, I was supposed to tell him tonight and, he doesn't know"
"Doesn't know what?" Mark managed to ask.
"I'm pregnant" she whispered "5 weeks, I, I think I'm 5 weeks but, I only found out this morning and, I was going to tell him and now, and now he's gone" she sobbed.
"Sshh" Mark whispered, holding her tight against him, letting his own tears fall "It's okay" he croaked "It's okay, it's okay" he let out a light sob, his face buried in her hair.
"Mark?" Callie said tentatively as she approached them "Oh god" she said, with one look from him she knew.
"I need to call his Mom" he said quietly "Meredith you, you stay here with Callie ok? I'll go and call his Mom"
"No" Meredith said grasping onto his arm "Don't go" she whimpered.
"Come with me" Mark said softly "We'll do it together"
"Ok" Meredith sniffled.
"Cal can you, can you tell everyone?" Mark said quietly "We'll do his family, and, Addison, can you tell everyone else?"
"Of course" Callie said with a slight whisper, she stepped forward and hugged them both, not knowing what to say "Meredith I, I'm so sorry" she said quietly "Is there anything else you need me to do?"
"No no it's, it's ok" Meredith said wiping her tears away "Thank you"
"Ok" Callie said softly "Just come and find me if you need me" she said kissing Mark's cheek softly.
"Thanks Cal" Mark said quietly, he took Meredith's hand and led her to an on-call room, they sat on the bed, Meredith's face resting against Mark's arm.
"I can't believe he's gone" he whispered.
"I feel, empty" Meredith said tearfully "I didn't even get to tell him and, our baby they're, they're never going to get to meet him, and I, I had it all planned out, how I'd tell him, we'd lie in bed and, I'd just say it, and he'd smile and kiss me and, he'd be so happy Mark, he would be so so happy and I never even got to tell him"
"He'll know" Mark said kissing her temple "He'll know, he'll, he'll look down on you and, he'll see his kid, he'll see it all, and he will be so proud of both of you, and he'll love both of you, he'll know"
"Let's call his Mom" she said quietly "Don't, don't tell them about the baby, not yet, don't tell anyone, please"
"Ok" Mark said softly "D'you want me to do it?"
"No" Meredith said taking his phone from him "I'll do it, it has to be me"
"Ok" he nodded "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, if it gets too much just, let me know ok?"
"Ok" Meredith sniffled, she took a breath before dialling the first number, and then the world started to crash down on everyone they knew and loved.
~x~
"Meredith?" Cristina said tentatively as she slowly opened the door to the on-call room where Meredith sat with Mark, both of them silently.
"Hi" Meredith said quietly "Is, is Owen ok? His arm…."
"He's fine, he'll be fine" Cristina nodded "Have, have you heard about, Alex?"
"What about Alex?" Meredith asked worriedly.
"I was going to tell you" Mark said quietly "He's fine, he's at Seattle Pres with Lexie, we, we found him in an elevator, he was hit in the chest, we took him to the conference room and, it was tough but we stabilized him in the end, and then the SWAT team came in and helped us get him to the ambulance, I came back here to, find out what was going on"
"Ok" Meredith sniffled "But he's, he's ok?"
"He'll be ok" Mark said squeezing her hand.
"Mer I'm, I'm so sorry" Cristina whispered "I really tried"
Meredith stood up and wrapped her arms tightly around Cristina "Thank you for trying" she whispered "This wasn't your fault Cris, ok? It wasn't, anybody's fault, just, just that man, just him"
"I know" Cristina said quietly "If, if you want to see him Mer Jackson he's, he's taken him to…."
"Not yet" Meredith sniffled "I want to see Alex now, we should all go and be with Alex"
"Ok" she nodded, Mark stood and they walked out of the room together, Cristina held Meredith's hand as they walked through the quiet hallways, as they reached the lobby Meredith took a breath as she saw the crowds of people outside, as they stepped out into the air she stopped when she saw Richard stood talking to a police officer, he turned his head and as he saw her he instantly started walking closer, she pulled away from Cristina and let him pull her into his arms, hugging her tightly.
"I am so sorry" he whispered against the top of her head "I'm so sorry"
"I can't believe he's gone" she sobbed.
"I know" he mumbled "I don't think anybody can"
"Was, was anybody else….? I want to know" she sniffled.
"Reed Adamson and Charles Percy, among others" he said quietly "Where are you going now?"
"To see Alex" she sniffled "I need to see him"
"If you need anything Meredith, anything at all just call me" he said stroking her hair "I can't imagine what's going through your head, all I know is, Derek loved you, so much, and even though me and him had some differences, he was like a son to me, and I was so proud of him, just like I'm proud of you"
"Thank you" she whispered tearfully, hugging him tightly again.
"Do you need anyone to take you over to Seattle Pres?" Richard asked.
"I'll drive" Mark said as himself and Cristina took the moment to move closer to them "It's fine, I can drive"
"Are you sure?" Richard asked "I can get someone to take you all…."
"I'm ok" Mark nodded "I can drive"
"Well alright then" Richard nodded "Take care of each other ok?" they all simply nodded and headed to Mark's car.
Chapter 2 to follow….