Title: Destiny
Author: SnowySilver
Summary: A little one-shot attempting to explain Houjou's apparent ignorance to Kagome's deceptions.
Disclaimer: I don't even own any Inuyasha DVDs, what makes you think I own the show? Sorry, buddy, but you've got the wrong girl.:-P
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He was at the shrine, again. Giving Higurashi's grandfather more medicines for her "illnesses." He was all smiles, and asked that his best wishes be passed on to her.
As he was descending the steps, down to the street, he heard a girl's voice. Looking back, he saw Kagome.
She had scratches on her face and arms; her uniform was torn up with them. Still, she had that same bright smile she always did, although it was a tad more weary than usual.
He was more shaken by that sight, he thought, than he would have been if Higurashi had told him to his face that she traveled through time.
Flustered, he turned and ran down the steps, heedless of the danger of falling down. Upon reaching the bottom, he stopped and forcefully calmed himself, plastering on his own smile, much as she did, he knew. After all, who was Kagome without her smile, and who was he without his?
Cheery mask intact, he made his way home. If his pace was a little faster than normal, no one noticed. He nodded to those he knew, but didn't stop to talk. Perhaps that was viewed as odd, but then, everyone knew he had a crush on the Higurashi girl, and they would probably write it off as uneasiness at her latest illness, given the direction he came from.
Fools.
He walked, calmly enough, into the pharmacy his parents owned. Nodding, once again, to the hired clerk's cheery welcome, he walked straight up the flight of stairs that led to his home. He took a left in the main hall, entered the linen closet, and kept walking.
The closet dissolved from view and became a room. It was a large, spacious room, despite the apparent lack of space in the building, and the myriad of books lining the numerous shelves. There were books concerning everything; events of the past, events happening even as he walked through the door, and events that may later occur, or may not, depending on certain elements and choices.
But Houjou did not come to the room because of the books it held. He came because it had called to him, promising a place of safety, if not reassurance. Anyway, he'd wanted to come.
He crossed the threshold, and only then did his cheery, idiotic smile slip from his face; only then did he sink into a nearby couch, and hold his head in his hands. This place often calmed him; today it had no such power.
He was aware he was shaking, quivering like a leaf in a storm. He let himself shake, let himself cry the tears he'd held back before.
And then he was being enveloped in a hug, and soft words were being spoken to him, and all of a sudden he was torn between anger and sorrow. The first for being comforted when another, he knew, would not be, the second for perhaps not doing all he could to prevent that. He pushed back and met his mother's sympathetic gaze with his anguished one.
"Why?" It was a whisper, woeful and confused. And yet it was a shout, hurt and angry. "Why can't I help her? Why can't I save her??"
Meisuu looked down at her son with sad eyes. She remembered a time, countless years before, when she'd asked that same question to her own mother. She gave the same answer she'd received.
"Darling," she said softly, "you know the rules. It is hard, so hard to change your path, and harder still to change another's, once it is decided. Sometimes it is done; I told you this, when first you asked. But often, it is not. We can only watch, as we are meant to, and hope for the best. If we interfere, it's doubtful we can change things, for that is not our place."
He looked away, angry and ashamed for that. "But how can you stand it, Mother? How can you just stand there, and watch, and know what will happen, and not try to help? The things... the things I've read, and heard, the things you've told me... I can't just stand by and watch an innocent girl get hurt!!" He yelled the last, half-wishing for some reaction other than serene sympathy from his mother, for that was as frustrating as it was comforting.
Serene she seemed, yet inside, Meisuu's heart was breaking. Decades of practice kept her face as it was, the same as her son's practiced smile. She knew now how her mother had felt, watching her child dissolve into tears because of something he may or may not be able to change. Her poor dear; so young, with such a long way to go.
She sighed, remembering how she had felt when she was the child in a scene that was so like this one. Meisuu embraced Houjou again, then pulled back, keeping hold on his shoulders and looking him square in the eye.
"Dear heart," she spoke again, "we are what we are, and as such have less pull over the world than others, though we keep the secrets of it. I said before, it is not our place to change things." Her son looked down, and she knew his eyes were filling up again. Her sensible, lecturing hold on his shoulders relaxed to a comforting one, and she lifted a hand to his cheek, urging him to look at her again.
"But that doesn't mean we can't try."
Houjo nodded, for he knew his mother spoke the truth. She always did. The world is complicated, and unfair, but it is as it is, and he knew that. He knew, also, that if given the choice, he would never give up the job he was entitled to by birthright.
He knew what would happen to Kagome.
He knew he probably wouldn't be able to stop it.
But he also knew that he'd try until the end.
Leaning his head on his mother's shoulder, he welcomed her warmth and comfort. He sat there, thinking of paths and changes, and knew more than most humans ever would.
Meisuu, too, welcomed the comfort Houjo brought just by asking for strength. She knew his own path would be difficult, more so, perhaps, than hers had been. She hoped this ordeal with the Higurashi girl would help him know what he must do in the future, to stand up for himself and those he loved. She sat there, chin on her son's head, thinking of courage and righteousness, and knew more than any human ever had.
The two sat, embracing and taking comfort from one another, both acutely aware they thought different thoughts, but both as acutely aware that they were together.
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Written: 3/19/04
Posted: 3/30/04
A/N: Hey, I'm getting better at this whole confidence thing!! Well, what do you think? I'd love reviews, positive and otherwise (I definitely need to get better at this stuff, haha).
Oh, and can you guess what Houjou's mom's name means? (Sorry if it's incorrect, I used Ask Jeeves' translator and that's what I got)
Thank you SO much for beta-reading, CocaCola43!!!!! I couldn't have gotten the courage to post this without your help. You rock!
Author: SnowySilver
Summary: A little one-shot attempting to explain Houjou's apparent ignorance to Kagome's deceptions.
Disclaimer: I don't even own any Inuyasha DVDs, what makes you think I own the show? Sorry, buddy, but you've got the wrong girl.:-P
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He was at the shrine, again. Giving Higurashi's grandfather more medicines for her "illnesses." He was all smiles, and asked that his best wishes be passed on to her.
As he was descending the steps, down to the street, he heard a girl's voice. Looking back, he saw Kagome.
She had scratches on her face and arms; her uniform was torn up with them. Still, she had that same bright smile she always did, although it was a tad more weary than usual.
He was more shaken by that sight, he thought, than he would have been if Higurashi had told him to his face that she traveled through time.
Flustered, he turned and ran down the steps, heedless of the danger of falling down. Upon reaching the bottom, he stopped and forcefully calmed himself, plastering on his own smile, much as she did, he knew. After all, who was Kagome without her smile, and who was he without his?
Cheery mask intact, he made his way home. If his pace was a little faster than normal, no one noticed. He nodded to those he knew, but didn't stop to talk. Perhaps that was viewed as odd, but then, everyone knew he had a crush on the Higurashi girl, and they would probably write it off as uneasiness at her latest illness, given the direction he came from.
Fools.
He walked, calmly enough, into the pharmacy his parents owned. Nodding, once again, to the hired clerk's cheery welcome, he walked straight up the flight of stairs that led to his home. He took a left in the main hall, entered the linen closet, and kept walking.
The closet dissolved from view and became a room. It was a large, spacious room, despite the apparent lack of space in the building, and the myriad of books lining the numerous shelves. There were books concerning everything; events of the past, events happening even as he walked through the door, and events that may later occur, or may not, depending on certain elements and choices.
But Houjou did not come to the room because of the books it held. He came because it had called to him, promising a place of safety, if not reassurance. Anyway, he'd wanted to come.
He crossed the threshold, and only then did his cheery, idiotic smile slip from his face; only then did he sink into a nearby couch, and hold his head in his hands. This place often calmed him; today it had no such power.
He was aware he was shaking, quivering like a leaf in a storm. He let himself shake, let himself cry the tears he'd held back before.
And then he was being enveloped in a hug, and soft words were being spoken to him, and all of a sudden he was torn between anger and sorrow. The first for being comforted when another, he knew, would not be, the second for perhaps not doing all he could to prevent that. He pushed back and met his mother's sympathetic gaze with his anguished one.
"Why?" It was a whisper, woeful and confused. And yet it was a shout, hurt and angry. "Why can't I help her? Why can't I save her??"
Meisuu looked down at her son with sad eyes. She remembered a time, countless years before, when she'd asked that same question to her own mother. She gave the same answer she'd received.
"Darling," she said softly, "you know the rules. It is hard, so hard to change your path, and harder still to change another's, once it is decided. Sometimes it is done; I told you this, when first you asked. But often, it is not. We can only watch, as we are meant to, and hope for the best. If we interfere, it's doubtful we can change things, for that is not our place."
He looked away, angry and ashamed for that. "But how can you stand it, Mother? How can you just stand there, and watch, and know what will happen, and not try to help? The things... the things I've read, and heard, the things you've told me... I can't just stand by and watch an innocent girl get hurt!!" He yelled the last, half-wishing for some reaction other than serene sympathy from his mother, for that was as frustrating as it was comforting.
Serene she seemed, yet inside, Meisuu's heart was breaking. Decades of practice kept her face as it was, the same as her son's practiced smile. She knew now how her mother had felt, watching her child dissolve into tears because of something he may or may not be able to change. Her poor dear; so young, with such a long way to go.
She sighed, remembering how she had felt when she was the child in a scene that was so like this one. Meisuu embraced Houjou again, then pulled back, keeping hold on his shoulders and looking him square in the eye.
"Dear heart," she spoke again, "we are what we are, and as such have less pull over the world than others, though we keep the secrets of it. I said before, it is not our place to change things." Her son looked down, and she knew his eyes were filling up again. Her sensible, lecturing hold on his shoulders relaxed to a comforting one, and she lifted a hand to his cheek, urging him to look at her again.
"But that doesn't mean we can't try."
Houjo nodded, for he knew his mother spoke the truth. She always did. The world is complicated, and unfair, but it is as it is, and he knew that. He knew, also, that if given the choice, he would never give up the job he was entitled to by birthright.
He knew what would happen to Kagome.
He knew he probably wouldn't be able to stop it.
But he also knew that he'd try until the end.
Leaning his head on his mother's shoulder, he welcomed her warmth and comfort. He sat there, thinking of paths and changes, and knew more than most humans ever would.
Meisuu, too, welcomed the comfort Houjo brought just by asking for strength. She knew his own path would be difficult, more so, perhaps, than hers had been. She hoped this ordeal with the Higurashi girl would help him know what he must do in the future, to stand up for himself and those he loved. She sat there, chin on her son's head, thinking of courage and righteousness, and knew more than any human ever had.
The two sat, embracing and taking comfort from one another, both acutely aware they thought different thoughts, but both as acutely aware that they were together.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Written: 3/19/04
Posted: 3/30/04
A/N: Hey, I'm getting better at this whole confidence thing!! Well, what do you think? I'd love reviews, positive and otherwise (I definitely need to get better at this stuff, haha).
Oh, and can you guess what Houjou's mom's name means? (Sorry if it's incorrect, I used Ask Jeeves' translator and that's what I got)
Thank you SO much for beta-reading, CocaCola43!!!!! I couldn't have gotten the courage to post this without your help. You rock!