"Approximately three full rotations of the screwdriver here, another set there, and done!"
Lisa Loud currently found herself in her room, surrounded by various mechanical parts, blueprints, and bottles of soap. She stood up holding a screwdriver in her hand and beamed at her most recent creation sitting before her. The machine itself largely resembled a vacuum cleaner for the most part, with the ribbed tube on the front connecting to a hose reel on the wall.
She screwed open a cap on top of the machine, took a bottle of soap and started pouring it into the hole as if it were a gas tank, the viscous fluid slowly flowing down into nothingness. If only it could pour a little faster, her tiny 4-year-old hands were not built to hold soap jugs too long!
"Dinner's ready everyone! Come on down!"
Lynn Sr's voice echoed through the house. Not long after, doors started opening, and the thundering footsteps of screaming kids and teens echoed throughout the hallway, disappearing down the stairs.
That is, except for one.
Lisa ignored the call and continued pouring soap into the machine, the viscous liquid merely dripping out at this point. Probably enough for now. She secured the cap back on top of the machine and set the jug aside.
With that, she walked over to the hose reel, where a few meters were already unrolled before her. She picked up the end of it, complete with a nozzle at the tip and button controls accompanying.
"Lisa! Come get your food or there won't be any left for you!" Rita yelled from downstairs.
Highly unlikely. The family almost always cooked in excess, else there would never be leftovers in the fridge. As undesirable it was to work without proper nourishment, the device was so close to finally becoming a reality.
So, she pushed the thought side and pointed the nozzle towards the area that she was just working at, thumb positioned above a button and ready to press down. No invention was complete without a demonstration. A few more minutes couldn't hurt!
"We have mac and cheese bites!" Lori called up to her.
Her ears perked up at that. Now that was a hard one to refuse. Maybe, just maybe she should come down after all. Perhaps it was fallacious to assume that every dinner cooked would be left over, maybe it'd be in her best interests to grab her share as soon as possible…
She shook her head and continued pointing. The actual food being consumed didn't matter before. It certainly didn't have to matter now. Surely, she should still put it off right? Of course she could wait a few minutes. What's a few minutes waiting for the tantalizing tastes of the dehydrated durum wheat molds, infused with coagulated mammalian secretions, fried into the delectable scrumptiousness that was Lynn Sr's culinary masterpiece, street name 'mac and cheese bites'… Such meticulous craftsmanship…
Alright, maybe the device can wait after all.
So, she threw the hose to the side and sighed walking out the door, defeated once again by her primal urges. The human instinct to satisfy hunger really was a force to be reckoned with. She walked downstairs and into the kitchen, slotting herself into the dining table where the rest of the family sat.
"Here you go sweetie," Rita said as she put some mac and cheese bites on Lisa's plate.
Lisa started salivating through the grin that had formed on her face. "Normally, I'd be aversive due to the high concentrations of saturated fat, but what's a treat once in a while?" She took a fork and sliced a mac and cheese bite in half, revealing its delightfully gooey interior.
"Lisa, they're mac and cheese bites, you're supposed to use your fingers," Lola said.
"I refuse to conform to these arbitrary standards. Unlike you, I value the cleanliness of my digiti manus," she responded.
Sure enough, she glanced down at Lola's fingers, and they were covered in crumbs, oil, and bits of cheese.
"You're talking about cleanliness, go lecture Lana!"
Lola pointed to her left, and sure enough, Lana's face was covered with bits of mac and cheese bites, scarfing them down like there was no tomorrow.
"Just because she has a complete disregard for personal hygiene doesn't mean I should follow." Lisa started eating the mac and cheese bite with her fork.
"You're one to talk," Lori said while pointing her fork at Lisa. "Whenever you eat chocolate, you literally make the biggest mess out of all of us."
Okay, true. That was embarrassing. A few snickers were heard around the table as Lisa picked popped another mac and cheese bite into her mouth, this time using her hands.
"Sooooo Lori, how do you feel about going off to senior year?" Lynn Sr. asked while pointing a fork at her.
She glanced up from her phone. "Oh that!" She glanced down at her salad and frowned. "I'm really nervous, the end feels so close and so far at the same time…"
"I understand honey, if you ever wanna ask us anything let us know, okay?" Rita reassured her.
"Oh yeah!" Lynn piped up. "I'm going into 8th grade and I'm nervous too!"
"I'm about to start high school!" Luan added. "The thing is, I'm not nervous at all. It just sounds like I have to say 'hi' to everyone all the time!" She giggled, eliciting groans from everyone else at the table.
"While you continue mucking about with your egregious wordplay, I have ascended beyond baseline public education," Lisa said. "Such mind-numbing reiteration of juvenile content, all the more reason to be thankful I won't be going."
Lynn Sr.'s eyes widened as he almost choked on his food and coughed. He grabbed a glass of water and chugged all its contents down.
"What was that?" He faced his daughter with a sheepish grin.
Lisa raised an eyebrow. "I won't be attending public education, will I now?"
"Uhh…" he cleared his throat and his eyes wandered across the table over to another member of the Loud family. "So, Lincoln, how was your time over at Clyde's place today?"
"Oh, it was awesome!" he said. "We dressed up in Ace savvy costumes and practiced throwing cards at apples!" He took out a card from his pocket and tossed it like a frisbee. However, instead of flying straight ahead, it curved, flopped and landed in Luna's plate to his top left.
"Dude, what gives?" she pinched the card off and threw it away behind her.
Lisa shook her head as she continued to eat. If this kind of tomfoolery was their idea of time well spent, then she didn't want anything to do with it. Soon however, there was a slight pang of disappointment when her hands reached in and felt only crumbs and oil. Bite-sized treats, deliberately designed for mindless consumption, gone in a flash.
Properly nourished and fully satiated, the device upstairs called for her to give a proper demonstration. No reason to stay around any longer, there was only inane casual banter and small talk being thrown around. So, she hopped off the table and climbed up the stairs again, through the hall and back into her lab.
In the lab, she unrolled the hose reel several meters and picked up the nozzle. She gazed down as she took a few moments to caress the device.
"Ohh, my baby's going for a test drive!" she whispered to herself. With that, she walked out the room and went down the stairs, carrying the nozzle with her.
"Well, you all know the drill by now. Put your own dishes back in the sink, Lynn and Lucy you're on washing duty today," Lynn Sr. commanded. A few groans followed, but nonetheless plates and utensils clanked against each other as everyone started doing their part.
Lynn Sr raised an eyebrow as she glanced to the side and saw Lisa enter the dining room. "What are you doing with that thing Lisa?" he asked pointing a finger. "Don't think I didn't notice you leaving the dining table without excusing yourself either."
"Apologies for my personal misconduct, but I believe we may have a more efficient method of remediating the disarray on the dining table," Lisa replied.
Lynn Sr crossed his arms and squinted down at his daughter. "Really now? I'm sure you won't mind showing us then!"
"With pleasure." Lisa held the nozzle in front of her for the entire room to see. "Behold!"
Rita raised an eyebrow. "What is that?"
"This is a segment of my latest prototype, the demonstration of which has been interrupted with a certain communal feeding period until now," Lisa said, adjusting her glasses. "I dub thee the 'soap machine'."
"Ooh, sounds fancy!" Leni piped up. "What does it do?"
"Quite simple really. The actual machine itself is stored up with saponified triglycerides, which is then infused with-"
"Forget the explanation, are you sure it's better than just doing things the way we usually do it?" Lynn Sr. directed both his arms at the rest of the loud siblings for emphasis.
"Traditionalism: a futile resistance to change, and a refusal to make progress for the better." She repositioned the tube in her hands, now pointing it at the table. "For the purposes of demonstration, I request that each of my siblings place their respective dishes back onto the table."
Some more groans could be heard from the loud siblings, but they nonetheless obliged. The loud parents backed themselves against a wall while the rest of the family peeked from the kitchen entrance.
Lisa pressed a button on the nozzle, and a humming sound started sounding upstairs. A few seconds later, foam started shooting out of the tube, encapsulating the dining table, the chairs, and just about everything in the entire room. A few panicked screams came from the kitchen, many of them pleading to turn the machine off. Eventually, the foam stopped accumulating, and the entire room was stuffed.
"Okay, you're grounded."
Lisa started rubbing her chin and hummed to herself in the midst of all the bubbles surrounding her. That wasn't supposed to happen, what could have possibly went wrong here?
"I'd tell dad, but he just grounded you so…"
"Man, you really need to clean up your track record! Get it?"
"Ugh, I hate soap!"
Despite the constant jeering from her siblings, Lisa still stood, now messing with the nozzle on her soap machine. Slowly, the foam around her dissipated, bubbling downwards and revealing faces of the loud family. Soon, the entire room was without a trace of the soapy odor or residue, leaving behind widened eyes and dropped jaws.
The tablecloth on the dining table was properly straightened and free of any stains or residue. The plates were stacked in piles and the glasses were neatly organized in rows at the edge, all of which were sparkling clean without a speck. The chairs were properly pushed in an organized, and area surrounding the table was scot-free of any debris to speak of
"Well, uh, that was certainly something," Rita commented.
"Strange, the foam should have dissipated faster." Lisa shrugged.
"Aw sweet! I got this!" Lynn grabbed the pile of plates and disappeared into the kitchen.
Lucy took the glass cups with her as well, and the rest of the siblings started making their way to their respective rooms, many of which stole glances at Lisa. There were various indistinct chatters from the group, most of which was about what had just occurred in the dining room.
"I trust that the punishment inflicted upon me will be revoked." With that, Lisa gave a quick puff to the tip of the nozzle.
Lynn Sr. simply nodded. Maintaining his shocked demeanor, he walked out the dining room into the Loud parents' bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
"Well, now that we've got that out of the way, there's something I need to talk to you about," Rita said.
She reached down and took Lisa's hand, tugging her along to the couch. Initially, she felt resistance from the child, but she eventually obliged and walked with her towards the cushiony surface. There, they both sat down on each side facing each other.
"I can't help but express concern over the implications behind why we are situated on this polyester surface," Lisa said. "I would expect that remaining in the dining area would have sufficed if this conversation were to cover relatively inconsequential matters."
"No, this is really important. I'm just not sure how to tell you this."
Lisa crossed her arms. "Try me."
With that, Rita took a deep breath. "Lisa, remember when you said you weren't gonna go through public education?"
"Why should I? I've attained a PhD in 4 different scientific fields, I'm currently the youngest recipient of the Junior Nobel Prize in history, and my life's work is spent in laboratories, elsewhere or my own, constantly discovering and innovating at every opportunity." She recounted those experiences with the fingers on her left hand. "Clearly, I'm beyond learning baseline skills."
Rita gazed down at her daughter as she carefully considered her next words.
"Lisa, you're really smart. There's no doubt about that. We knew you were special ever since you said your first words. You've only been here for 4 years, and already you're doing all these we could only ever dream of!" Pride glimmered within her eyes as she said those words.
"Yes, we've established that fact already," she flatly responded.
"But the thing is, we think there's so much more for you to explore out there. Things that you may not immediately understand."
"Precisely the gap I aim to close within my studies."
A chuckle escaped Rita. "No, not those things. I'm talking about something very different."
"What could possibly be more important than uncovering the mysteries of life itself!?" Lisa exclaimed with her arms out in front of her.
"Well…" Rita glanced to the side before refocusing on her daughter. "We think there's more to life than science."
Lisa's eye twitched as she forced a grin on her face and stared up at her mother. "Such as?"
Rita's gaze softened as a frown manifested itself onto her face. "There are some things that just being smart can't teach you."
If there was any kind of a flimsy effort at feigning approval before, they were now thrown out the window. Lisa completely dropped her effort at forcing a grin on her face as she let out an exasperated sigh and strained her eye muscles to roll them as far as she could.
"You're not just a scientist, you're a person and a human being." Rita put a hand on Lisa's shoulder. "You deserve the opportunity to meet all kinds of people, to make friends, and to broaden your perspective. You deserve to feel things, create experiences, and learn from them. You deserve to have a childhood, grow up, and explore what makes us who we are."
"Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous." Lisa pushed her mother's hand aside. "You've already meddled many times in what would have otherwise been my many successful endeavors, but this… you're an enemy of progress in the name of science!"
With that, she jumped off from the couch and stormed off upstairs.
She entered her lab and started vigorously rolling up the hose reel. Her blood boiled as if it was ultra-pasteurized by Louis Pasteur himself. More to life than science? How could her maternal figure suggest something so blatantly false!? Science, the foundation of everything as we know it. A logical explanation for all, instilling us with a semblance of true objectivity. The answer to humanity's most pressing questions, the gateway to human advancement, and a pathway to realization of potential. Somehow, her mother thought this wasn't important!?
With the hose completely rolled in, she walked over to her door and slammed it shut. Her mother was clearly treating her like any other 4-year-old. If anything, she was much more than that. Just what else did she have to do to prove herself? Did her mother not appreciate her for what she was!?
If her parents couldn't be reasoned with, then perhaps she'd have to take more extreme measures. Yes, they'd see things exactly as she saw it, she would make sure of that. An idea brewed within her head, and they were soon transcribed onto a sheet of paper she grabbed from the side.
A knock was heard at the door. "Lisa? Are you there?
Lisa suddenly gasped as her eyes widened and she dropped her pencil. "What mind control device!?"
"What? No, I just want to talk."
With a sigh of relief, Lisa picked her pencil up and started working on her blueprint again. "Sure, that went well last time," she responded dryly.
"Can I come in?"
Lisa rolled her eyes as the door creaked open from behind and Rita walked into the room. She glanced both ways before slowly closing the door behind her and approaching her daughter, who continued to stare down at her work.
Rita was now in front of the desk, where Lisa didn't turn to acknowledge her mother at all.
"I'm afraid my views on this will remain invariably unchanged," she flatly stated.
"What are you working on?" Rita asked, craning her head over her daughter's shoulder.
"Work I could never conduct in grade school," she muttered.
Rita opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it and put her hands behind her back. There she stood and watched as the sounds of pencil markings and erasers filled the room. She caught a glimpse, most of which was math and techno-babble, but it didn't take a genius to read the large text at the top. Something called a 'Coercive Persuasion Device'.
Seeing this, she closed her eyes and shook her head. "You know, you don't have to do this," she said.
"You clearly don't understand," Lisa spat out.
Rita shook her head but didn't respond. Silence overcame the duo again as she continued to watch her daughter work.
Eventually, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Lisa, do you know how proud I am of you?"
"You say that all the time," she flatly responded.
A few seconds passed between the two. "Well, I'm proud of all of my kids. You've all been such wonderful gifts."
"That implies inexplicable supernatural cause."
Another instantaneous response, and another few seconds for Rita to think. "Okay, well you're still a gift to me," she said. "I can't explain why we were blessed to have someone as smart as you, but for that I'm eternally grateful."
Lisa stopped scribbling on her blueprint and stole a glance to the right where her mother was standing. Yes, these were words she had heard time and time again. Yet somehow, hearing these things now made all the difference. Something about those words felt different. More meaningful.
"Why are you telling me all of this?"
Rita crouched down to her daughter's level and put an arm around her daughter's shoulder. "Because I don't want you to ever forget it."
The tension in Lisa's body slowly dissipated within her mother's comforting embrace. Try as she would with mental calculations and formulating thought processes, they were now all but a mush under the affection that her mother figure gave her. She rested her pencil and her hands lay flat on the desk.
"We know you're special Lisa. I mean, look at this." Rita gestured over to the blueprint in front of her. "How many kids do you think are able to just construct some mind control device on a whim when they're mad at their parents?"
"We're not sending you to public school because we hate you. We're doing it because we care."
Before, Lisa probably would have met that statement with contempt and scorn. Heck, the rational side of her knew that she should probably do so now. Yet somehow, this immensely positive feeling she couldn't explain was threatening to pop the bubble where her cold and calculated reasoning lay within. Some part of her just knew her mother was wrong, but they were now intermingled with all sorts of other conflicting thoughts and feelings she just couldn't explain.
So, Lisa put her head down on her desk. Just what was she? What was she missing? How could she feel so uncertain about what's best?
"I'm confused," she whispered.
"I know sweetie."
Rita stroked her daughter's hair as neither of them exchanged words at each other. Lisa's head stayed down, desperately picking at her thoughts and trying to deconstruct them to no avail. They were but endless repetitions of the same irrational feelings that circulated her mind, with no conclusive answer or end to it all.
"Are there really things I don't know?"
"You know a lot of things. There's room for you to become so much more."
Rita turned to face her daughter.
"I just know that you'll grow up to become an amazing woman and do incredible things. And no matter what, we'll always be proud of you, whatever you choose to do."
Lisa turned her head right to face her mother and meet her gaze. There was a certain warmth emanating from Rita, from the genuine care she put into her words, to the love and affection radiating from her actions, down to the smile she put on her face.
"You'll always be my little Lisa."
Such a simple statement with so many implications.
Lisa had already proven herself in many ways if her PhDs and Junior Nobel Prizes weren't indication enough. Even her mom knew that, and she said time and time again just how proud she was. Despite all of this, Lisa was faced with the proposition of attending the most juvenile form of education in its entirety.
But what more, there was the possibility that maybe her mother was right. She had brushed hands with these emotions and feelings she couldn't even begin to rationalize or understand just now. What if there really were things that were far beyond her comprehension? Things that supposedly couldn't just be learned by reading about them. Things she needed first hand-experience with, a type that only grade school could offer.
Lisa glanced down at her blueprint, too close to her face to discern anything reasonable. She knew however that it housed the seedlings of a creation that would protect the sanctity of her research. In a way, wasn't she also barring herself from an opportunity? Wasn't this the very definition of close-mindedness?
Her head was lifted up, giving herself a view of the entire blueprint. Instead of stepping forward, she attempted to change the world around her to shield herself. That was the opposite of scientific. She stood for discovery and understanding, yet in the process, she had betrayed her own values. If grade school was the gateway to an entirely new world perspective she couldn't even begin to understand, then she should be making an effort to do so.
That meant she could only be led to one conclusion.
"Mother?"
"Yes sweetie?"
With grit teeth and a smile forced on her face, she turned towards her mother and said the following words: "I'm willing to undergo public education."
Rita smiled back as well. "I'm glad to hear that. I know it's not exactly what you want, but the fact that you're willing to give it a shot is really mature of you."
She reached in for a hug, which Lisa didn't immediately return. There, Rita squeezed the duo, with her daughter's arms hanging to the side within the embrace.
It was a strange feeling, being in a hug. When it came down to it, hugging was just an action. However, here it took on a special meaning. Lisa was already in close physical proximity to her mother but physically being in a hug was inexplicably different. In spite of all these emotions, all the tension swirling within her, somehow this feeling of closeness was a golden ray of sunlight to dissipate all the negativity within.
Eventually, Rita let go, admiring her daughter one last time.
"I'm really proud of you sweetie." She took her index finger and bopped it on Lisa's nose, chuckling at that. Lisa remained neutral in her demeanor, eyes glancing to her left.
Rita finally stood and turned to make her way towards the door. As she opened it, she turned to admire her daughter one last time, who had her head tilted downwards at the desk now.
"Love you Lisa."
The door finally clicked shut with that.
Lisa remained stunned as she continued staring down. She glanced down at her arm and rubbed it where Rita's arms embraced her. Something about the way she was held just felt nice. Was this maybe the kind of thing her mother was talking about? Could school explain why she felt these things?
Pushing that thought of her mind, Lisa picked up a pencil and straightening the sheet out. The blueprint was calling out to her to be finished in its entirety. No shame in finishing a project she started, right?
For a while, that was exactly what she did. Slowly, her sheet was filled with more scrawls and crude sketches of her device, the results of countless accumulated experiences and knowledge manifesting themselves into a visible form.
As she worked however, her mind wandered in various directions. Why did she start the project? Wasn't she making the 'Coercive Persuasion Device' to avoid precisely what she had agreed to do earlier? Why would she have to draft a blueprint for this device now?
Perhaps she could complete the blueprint as a theory. It could easily be a side project, or a proof of concept. One such exhibition of the potential that science had to offer. It's not like she had to use it to avoid grade school anyway. She could use it for other things, right?
She glanced down at the sheet in front of her and was suddenly snapped back into reality. Deep in thought, the past few several seconds were riddled with all sorts of miscalculations and mistakes.
In an attempt to remedy the mistakes, she flipped her pencil upside down and started erasing. At first it was with care, just applying enough friction to remove the smoothly drawn lines. However, she rubbed just a little bit too hard, and suddenly the eraser broke off. The metallic tip scratched the sheet, creating a moderately sized tear in the middle.
Lisa facepalmed before grabbing the sheet, crumpling it up, and throwing it behind her. How ironic, in an attempt to fix a mistake, she had made a bigger one, more permanent than the last. Really, the whole blueprint was a mistake. The only thing it could be good for was as a temptation to back down on what was right. If she really was a girl of science, then she should be willing to dive into new ventures. Her choice was locked in. Whether it was a good one or not would remain to be seen.
So why did she still feel so bothered?
Lisa turned and hopped off her desk, walking towards the soap machine on the floor. Some part of her still really didn't want to go. No doubt, school would be filled with an assortment of juvenile delinquents, taught by teachers covering baseline academic subject she already knew. When it came to it, grade school was a place for the collective subordinates. Somehow, she was expected to suffer through all of this, with the promise of some kind of lesson lurking within. Was she really willing to associate herself with those hooligans?
She shook her head and screwed the cap off on top of the machine. No need to dwell on future endeavors, she had today to worry about. Make all the notions she will, they were just notions. In due time, she'd see for herself the value in it. For now, the task at hand: increasing the speed in which the foam did its work.
"Guys, I think we're out of soap!" Lori called through the hall.
Lisa smirked as she grabbed another jug of soap and started pouring it in the tank. They didn't have to find out where it went.