Mugetsu's 'Wonderful' Day
Author's Notes: I've re-written this to make it easier on your eyes. You're welcome! A look into Mugetsu's good/bad day. Oh and it's still in his POV, plus me arguing with him is added. Warning: Contains slight ass-kicking, but a lot of language. Well he is psychotic! If the game was rated Mature, he would've been cussing like crazy.
The author waits in a room. Mugetsu walks in and sits down…
[Author: So Mugetsu. The people who still remember the game, wonders what did you do in that day? You know, before you kidnapped Dominique]
Well, my first interview, eh? Ok, then. I woke up at… well I shouldn't say 'woke up' because I barely get any sleep as you can see in my crazy, but sexy eyes. Anyways, I get up and go downstairs to eat a bowl of Caca Puffs. I poured the milk in ma bowl and the milk comes out chunky. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I GOT FUCKIN' EXPIRED MILK IN MY BOWL OF CEREAL THAT RESEMBLES HAMSTER SHIT AND THIS IS CONSIDERED MY BREAKFAST? … oh well. Munch, munch, munch, burp. After breakfast, and an hour of puking, I put on my Special Forces suit…
[Author: so you didn't take a shower?]
… YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T DO!
[Author: sorry! (Mutters) Jerk! T^T ]
Anyways, I put on my suit. By the way, don't I look sexy in it? *poses*
[Author: Pathetic.]
HEY! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP!
[Author: Ok. Ok! I'll be quiet for a minute]
…. So I basically run around in the Mikado Corporation, screaming like a elephant screwing a donkey, due to my twisted mind. After a while, Echidna that bitch, comes up to my face blabbering on how she will be number 1. Yeah! Number 1 whore! I mean, have you seen the way she dresses? She dresses like she wants to sleep with everyone in this Hellhole! So you know what I did? I fuckin' knocked that bitch in the kisser and walked away. I was smiling.
[Author: I bet that made you feel like a man, huh?]
WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?
[Author: Why? I'm having too much fun. And I was already quiet for a minute.]
Let me move on, before I fucking cap your ass! For lunch I had flesh, I mean, some French Fries. I went to put some salt on my shredded spuds when the salt shaker cap fell off and a rainfall of salt fell onto my food. Just my luck. WHO THE FUCK UNSCREWED THE TOP OFF THE FUCKIN' SALT SHAKER? I heard some of those immature Special Forces snickering in the background and I turned my head around like I was the fricking Exorcist or something like that, and boy were they scared. I jumped out of my seat and kicked everyone's ass that was there. And that included the innocent cafeteria lady. Then I got me another bowl of cereal.
[Author: So did you like your food?]
DO YOU SERIOUSLY WANNA DIE?
[Author: You don't have the balls to kill me!]
FUCKING CUN-… SO! I walk outside, enjoying the fresh air of the Hanging Gardens, when a bird shits on my shoulder. YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME BITCH? I shrieked, obviously, and I miraculously flew in the air above the bird, pulled my pants down and laid the biggest shit the world has ever seen, on the bird. The sheer weight of the turd caused the bird to dive a 70 mph dive into the concrete of the floor below the garden and died. And the floor started to reek of shit and dead bird. My bad. ^_^
[Author: I was eating dude!]
So after the 'accident', I went back in and saw that black panther that always hangs out with Master Dauragon. Wow, was it pretty. I was so jealous that I started to throw rocks at it, only to piss it off and have it chase me. Don't worry; I kicked its ass to Timbuktu! So that is over and I basically went to the bathroom for hours due to the same chunky milk taking its toll on me. Did you know that when you have diarrhea, it's quite pleasing when it comes out? You just sit there on the toilet and let it flow right through you.
[Author: you really are sick. That's disgusting! I should call someone to take you away to the asylum]
So that went on like forever, and after Master Dauragon called me. I want you to do something for me, a plan to take revenge on those people that couldn't save my sister he said. Damn was he a frickin' ass. All he cares about is revenge and shit. So you know what I did? I pimp slapped him so hard he fell back. GO GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO YOUR JOB! I yelled. But I went anyways. This thing I had to do was to kidnap his bitchy little sister and return her to him. So off I am inside a pod. Boy, was it goddamn hot in here and it smells like shit in a dumpster… oh yeah, that was me. So after, I landed in her house and see all these toys lying around on the floor. Either she was retarded or she might be a sniveling little brat. I hope it's not both. The little train set was cool. So I played with it. Choo-choo! Look at the locomotive go! Chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga! Whoo whoo!
[Author: Now I know what to give you for your birthday!]
…..So she wasn't home, so I had to go find her or no 'Pippy no go show'. I took off, showing off with my awesome speed until I found her getting drunk at a bar with her friends. So I waited until they were drunk enough for me to complete my mission. After she was so drunk that she tripped over the wireless jukebox in the corner. So I jumped down and grabbed her. She was saying stuff how I was going to rape her and some weird shit so I knocked her out. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOW, BITCH? And I chucked her out the window, following after.
[Author: Now that's no way to treat a lady. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend, you psychopath!]
AND, so I had a bad yet so good day. The lucky thing was that her friends didn't bother or even noticed that she was missing, due to the fact that they were really drunk and stupid, so this fighting thing and me dying never happened. Dauragon was 'happy' that she 'returned' and so he left me to do what I wanted while he blew up that hospital, the one he was bitching about ( he blew up the White House by accident because he put in the wrong coordinates. Stupid ass blond, busting Independence Day.)
[Author: I take it this postcard I got from D.C is obsolete?]
All I did after was watch the 'Pippy no go show' and poured myself another bowl of Caca Puffs, because supposedly Dauragon had bought more milk. So I poured the milk in my bowl and it came out chunky, again… DAURAGON!
[Author: Interesting… But that never happened, didn't it?]
Yeah. I just wanted to make my day interesting, because you are just making it worse.
[Author: Well then! Why don't you just get the hell outta here before I call security!]
Whatever! *leaves*
[Author: -sigh-] *takes aspirin*