Burning, a twilight fanfic

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Welcome to the RPCC Contest!

This is a collaboration contest in which members of The Original Twilight Role Play! have teamed up to give the fandom a taste of the fun and skills gained from role playing through one shots.

Entry #11.

Title: Burning

Summary: Jasper is hiding a dark secret. What happens when Alice catches him in the act?

Rating: T

Genres: Hurt/Comfort, Drama

Characters: Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale

Authors: TheSongSmith and XXKissMyRebelAssXX

Jasper POV

The flame dragged over the granite skin of my hand, glowing brightly orange. I was so used to the touch of the flame at this point, I barely felt the burn, but it left a charred, blackened trail behind it. My eyes followed it, fascinated both by the flame and the pain I barely felt.

I glanced toward the door, hearing movement downstairs, and in an instinctive, lightning-fast movement, I shoved the lighter into the drawer and leapt to my feet, waiting to be discovered.

The seconds ticked by, and no one came, to my great relief. My secret seemed to be safe for the time being. No one would know about my...habit. My relief.

Or so I thought.

Just as I took my lighter back out of the drawer and clicked it on again, the doorknob rattled and the door sprang open. Alice darted in, her arms full of a days worth of shopping and her golden eyes alight with excitement.

"Jazz! You won't believe what I-" She cut off, dropping the bags she held. "Oh!"

I was frozen, shocked at her sudden appearance. The flame had been in contact with my skin too long. It was burning. I could feel it this time, and it wasn't pleasant. After a moment, I remembered how to work my muscles. My fingers opened stiffly, and the small lighter clattered to the floor.

Alice POV

"Jasper!" I exclaimed, kneeling beside him in a flash, "What on Earth...?"

My eyes darted from his hand to the lighter and back before I picked up the small metal object. When I looked back up at his face, he refused to meet my gaze. "Oh, Jasper..." I murmured, examining the burn on his palm.

He pulled his hand back quickly, wincing. "It's nothing," he grunted.

"It's not nothing. Come here," I ordered, leaving no room for argument. I walked to our bathroom, taking his hand and running it under the cold water. He hissed softly as the water made contact with his skin. "Yeah, sure looks like nothing."

"No. It's really nothing..." Jasper told me surely. "Nothing worse than what I've had before."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh? And just how long has this been going on?" He looked away at the floor, the wall, anything but me. I sighed, stroking his cheek lightly. "Jasper? Talk to me, honey. What's going on?"

He went still, slowly raising his gaze. He was silent for a few more moments. I held his gaze until, finally, he spoke.

"A few months..."

"What's been going on for a few months?" I pressed him.

"That...you know, that thing with the lighter."

I sighed softly. "Why, Jasper? Why do you do this?"

He frowned. "Because I don't know how else to deal with things," he whispered.

Taking his hand out from under the water, I resisted the urge to cringe at the sight of the burn as I wrapped it up in a clean white bandage.

"Talk to me, honey." I took hold of his shoulders and sat him down.

Jasper sighed, wringing his hands. "You left me, Alice! You left me...and you didn't even call one time or leave a note or anything."

I listened, my expression nothing but patient. I would save comments until he finished.

"I didn't know how to handle anything. Everyone's emotions were a pain to be around, and I just couldn't take it anymore... and then I saw a lighter.. and I just knew it would make all the hurt go away..."

I nodded sadly, thinking of what I'd done. "I'm so sorry, Jasper," I murmured. "I was trying to protect you. I thought you'd be safe if you didn't know where I was. I never meant to hurt you, and I'm so, so sorry I did. I just...I couldn't let them take you away from me," I continued softly. "Without you, I have nothing. I couldn't let anything happen to you. I'm so sorry..."

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me," he said. "But I was hurting and this worked, and now I can't stop."

I took his uninjured hand, squeezing it gently. "We can help you if you want to stop. Do you want to stop?"

"No!" he shouted, before shaking his head with a deep sigh. "I mean...yes."

I couldn't help myself from hugging him tightly.

"Jasper, shh... Of course you can."

"No. I can't." He stared at me, the look in his eyes urgent and willing me to understand. My heart broke for him. "I can't, Alice. I need this."

"You have me," I reminded him.

"Do I?"

"Yes, Jasper, you do!" How could he even think otherwise?

"If you say so, Alice." He didn't seem convinced.

Slowly, I leaned forward, kissing him softly. "Jasper, I'm so, so sorry I left. But I promise you, it won't happen again. You mean everything to me, and you'll always have me. I love you more than I could ever possibly say, and we can get through this together. We will, I promise."

He stared at me for a moment, thinking. "Together?" he asked hesitantly, almost as if he were afraid of the answer. "Really? You won't leave again?" I saw a small glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Yes, together. I won't leave like that ever again. You have me now, and you'll always have me. Forever. I promise."

He nodded slowly. "I don't want to disappoint you if I fail."

"Jasper, you're not going to disappoint me," I assured him, gently raising his chin until his gaze met mine. "I understand that this will be very difficult to give up, but no matter how long it takes, I'll be here to help you through it. And it's not failing, no matter how many times you go back to doing this. You're willing to try, and that's what's important to me. And as long as you're trying, you can't fail or disappoint me. I'm going to do everything I can to help, starting with staying right here with you. I love you, no matter what happens. You know that, don't you?"

He nodded again. "Yes, I just don't understand why."

"Why what, hon?"

"What's the point of helping me, Alice?"

I sighed, leaning in to kiss him softly. "Jasper, you're everything to me. I love you more than I could ever explain to anyone. You deserve to be happy, and healthy, and loved." He started to interrupt me to protest, but I shushed him gently. "Don't you dare even try to say that I deserve better, because there is nothing better than you, Jazz. And you deserve a family and me and to be happy. I'll do everything I can to help you through this, and I'm not going to stop until things are better. I swear I'll never ever leave you again, no matter what happens. You'll have me forever. I love you so much."

He nodded.

"You don't believe me?"

He sighed softly. "I believe you love me, though I don't understand why. What if I can't do it, Alice? What if I'll be doing this forever?"

"Baby, you shouldn't think that way. I know you can do it. But if you're asking what will happen with us, I'll still be right here. I promise you. I'll still love you just as much as always, no matter what happens."

He just stared at me. "I'll try."

"Good." I nodded. "Now where are your lighters, Jazz?"

"I have to give them up?"

I nodded again, speaking gently, but still firmly. "Yes. It won't work if you still have them."

"Can't I keep one?" he asked. Watching carefully, I saw something flash through his eyes before he covered it.

I couldn't help but feel reluctant to do this, knowing that things would get worse for him before they got better. "I'm sure, Jazz. If something happens and you feel like you need one, you should come to me and we'll see what we're going to do. And you can't go buy more either, or things won't get better. I need you to trust me. I'll be there for you. Do you trust me, Jazz?"

He stared at me for a long moment before slowly nodding.

"I trust you, darlin'."