"Cousin! It is your cousin!"
Niko rolled his eyes as he rested his cellphone on his shoulder and slammed on the brakes of his car, "Hello Roman," he said calmly, "What is it?"
"Cousin! We should go and get drunk together!"
"Okay Roman, I'll see you in an hour," Niko replied before hanging up. He sighed and slammed his foot down on the accelerator again, spinning the stolen Feltzer convertable around and driving straight through Outlook Park. He smiled to himself as all the people ran from him, screaming in terror, their days ruined by Niko's actions. Niko always did whatever he wanted and that felt good. He swerved intentionally to crush a fleeing woman under the car before coming out of the other side of the park and pulling up in front of a Turismo outside the internet cafe. He calmly jumped out of the Feltzer and pulled open the door to the Turismo, the driver was a rich looking American so Niko smashed him in the face with his gun and dragged him out of the car, "It's just a robbery, don't make me kill you," he said, feeling an almost sexual pleasure as he threw the man into the road. Then, just for fun, he shot the man anyway, aiming mainly for his extremities to draw out the agony of the death.
"Please no! I have money! I'll give you lots of money!" the man screeched as Niko pumped nine bullets into him before finally watching the light of life in his eyes extinguish.
Casually Niko sat down in the Turismo, it was such a beautiful car, and this one in particular seemed to be top end. The interior still smelt fresh and new and Niko ran his fingers over the exquisite leather of the seats, "Beautiful," he smiled, "Roman will be impressed. In my country a family would save for generations to have a car like this."
He could hear the sound of sirens in the distance so he slammed the accelerator and raced around the corner to pick up Roman.
There he was, the fat cousin, standing outside the cab depot. Niko saw a flicker of amazement in Roman's eyes as he realized Niko was driving a Turismo before walking over and getting into the passenger seat. The sirens were getting nearer, it would be foolish so Niko said, "I was thinking we should find another bar tonight, Comrades is getting boring."
"Whatever you say cousin!" Roman replied, "Where did you get this car?"
"I borrowed it," Niko replied as he span the car around, deliberately knocking over an old man before they raced north.
"Cousin! You just knocked that man down!"
"I don't care Roman," Niko turned to his cousin and grinned, "We have a rich man's car, let us act like rich men."
Roman smiled back but Niko could see his heart wasn't in it, Roman had always been a pussy.
They ended up getting drunk at some irish bar, Niko drive the car right into the beer garden and killed a few of the customers before marching into the bar and demanding vodka. The barman, who seemed terrified, had complied and he and Roman had spent a happy evening getting fucked up. Eventually they staggered outside and got back into the Turismo still swigging from bottles of beer, the last time Niko had driven drunk Roman had berated him but this time he seemed much more laid back.
"Cousin! Let us listen to some American music!" Roman said, switching the radio station from Vladivostok FM to Liberty Rock Radio as Niko backed the car out of the beer garden, the world was spinning and the music spoke to Niko on some kind of visceral level. He wanted to have some real fun.
"Hey cousin, watch this," he said, getting Roman's attention before punching out the car window and then shooting randomly with his gun while steering the car with his other hand. Civilians screamed and entire crowds of people broke up, fleeing in every directions, "They are afraid of the terrible Bellic cousins and our power," he laughed.
"Cousin! You must focus on driving!"
"Don't be a pussy Roman," Niko laughed, he fired more shots in the air as they swerved down Dukes Boulevard, he wasn't really in control of the car which meant it wasn't really his fault when he knocked down a homeless man and then reversed over him to make sure he was dead.
"Where did you get a gun from anyway cousin?" Roman asked.
"Your friend Jacob gave it to me," Niko said, "He wanted me to help him kill some guys and he let me keep the gun afterward. I will do more work for him I think, it's better than driving cars for a living."
"Yeah! Great!" Roman said, "But remember your cousin when you are rich!"
"I will Roman," Niko promised before climbing out of the car window as they barrelled through the war memorial thing.
"Cousin! What are you doing?" Roman asked, sounding horrified.
"Drive the car Roman," Niko said, "Take us through Outlook Park."
Roman obliged as Niko lay down on top of the car and began firing his gun wildly, killing several people before they even knew what hit them. Liberty City was so rich that all the damage Niko had done to Outlook Park earlier in the day had already been cleaned up, the bodies removed and even the abandoned Feltzer had been towed away. "What a country," he marvelled as he downed the last of his beer and threw the empty bottle at a terrified man that Roman had tapped with the car and knocked over. Niko gleefully shot the man in the back of the head and was about to fire at some others when he noticed that a police car was heading into the park.
"Fuck!" Niko said, he climbed back through the car window and took the wheel, Roman moving back to the passenger seat.
"Cousin! They are going to kill us!" Roman squealed.
"Relax cousin, drink your beer," Niko said, he drove directly towards the police car but swerved away at the last second and when the police followed he drove back around and out the other side of the park. "This should be fun."
"Cousin! How can you be so calm?"
"This is nothing," Niko replied, "We grew up in a war remember? America has made you cowardly cousin."
He slammed the accelerator and within a few minutes they were pulling up outside the apartment. Roman breathed an audible sigh of relief, "Cousin! That is enough fun for a lifetime! Tomorrow you will drive cabs with me!"
"Whatever cousin," Niko yawned and glanced over the road at Comrades Bar, "But first let's have another few drinks to settle our nerves."