I do not own Criminal Minds. Sadly CBS does.

I just borrow the characters and place them

Co written/ beta read with Emzypemzy!!!!!

So it starts with a letter….. Don't wanna give too much away! Read and Review please

Derek,

I knew it would be you to find this letter after I didn't answer my phone, for you to come to check on me as you always do. I am so very sorry it has to end this way. It was something I had to do for me. Tell JJ I am very sorry and give Henry a kiss for me, tell him stories of his Aunt Penelope before she became this way, before everything went dark. As for the boss man and Rossi, all of their searches are completed and a new tech should be in tomorrow. Jack's college fund has also been taken care of. Treat Emily as part of the family that we have all have come to know her as. I know she worries that if something happens to me it will change that. For my dear Reid, tell him that he is the brightest, sweetest boy I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. He will always hold a place in my heart as the only little brother I've come to adore. I love each and every one of you and the only reason I stayed in this world so long was because of you, my family.

My Chocolate Adonis, although I am not here now, my heart will always belong to you and only you. I love you Derek, more than you will ever know. Just promise me one thing, promise me that you would willnever call anyone else baby girl. I need that from you. Even with the decision I have come to make, it wasn't because of you. You made me feel whole, made my empty life have the last bit of meaning to it. Our friendship had become everything to me and I ended up falling in love with you. You don't have to love me back but I don't ever want you to change the way you are, stay you for me. Let another person see the bright smiling face I had come to love or the twinkle in your eye when you are at your happiest moment. Don't mourn over the life I didn't, cherish the ones you do. It's all you have. Keep fighting crime my superheroes and protecting the world from its impossible Demons. As for me, it's time to go. With this last breath that I take I want you all to know that I will miss you dearly and love you all.

Penelope

Her body felt cold and she could see the light shining through the dark room. The window shade producing what seemed like an opening, a way out. She felt the need to get up and follow it but she knew she didn't have to. It came to her. It was warm and inviting and the moments of her life started to play before her eyes. Her childhood, Ester, her parents dying, the first time Derek called her baby girl - Wait… Derek. Then it happened; more and more pictures of Derek flowed through her mind. The hidden chaps picture they joked about, him calling her sexy and a goddess, finding out about his past. Oh god. Derek.

The last thing she could remember were water drops falling on her face and muffled yells piercing through her peaceful departure. "Ba. beee.. G..rrrr…ll." It seemed so real, so inviting, but the light was still pulling her towards it. She could see her parents standing hand in hand reaching down to her and as she reached her hand towards them she heard the muffled noise speak again and she withdrew her hand. "Bay..bee G..rr..l!" She knew that voice, felt the hands around hers and it spoke again, this time clear as day. "BABY GIRL!" She knew who it was. There was only one person who called her by that sweet name. She started to withdraw from the light to feel the warmth coming back into her body not knowing whether she wanted to come back or go into the peaceful abyss. Who was she to give up though? The pain was shooting through every inch of her body but she couldn't give up: The team needed her, Derek needed her. But after what had just happen would she ever be the same Penelope Garcia again? Would she even be the baby girl that Derek had once befriended?

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That's all he found, the lone letter sitting right in the middle of the desk table. Pencils perfectly lined up beside it and all books straighten in order from smallest to largest. That's not what he worried about though. He needed to find her before it was too late or if it wasn't already too late. He raced through her apartment yelling her name hoping that in case she hadn't gone through with it that he could save her in time. Worry piercing through his very soul when he saw her lying there on her bed arms crossed over her chest. He felt his whole world crashing down in that split second and his heart broke in half. Running to her he did all that he could do, taking off his belt and tying it tightly around her wrists, blocking the blood from seeping out even so more from her body. Dialing 911 he picked her up in his arms rocking her back in forth trying to call her back to him. That in saying those words she wouldn't give up and wouldn't let go. "Baby girl! Baby girl please baby just open your eyes!" Tears were streaming down his face wetting the golden locks that lay below his head as he rocked her back and forth. "Penelope! Come on Goddess wake up for me! Please baby girl! I can't lose you!" The sirens in the distance were becoming more noticeable but the blood that was already soaking through the belt made him weep more. "Come on princess, it's ok. The paramedics are coming just stay with me baby girl! Don't follow that light. Feel my heartbeat, hear my voice, take my breath if need be but don't you dare die on me Penelope Garcia!"