A/N: Mostly sort of Canon but the timelines may be off, this is 1/5th of my NaNoWriMo story so i take all responsibility for errors.

Prologue:

I lay in the hospital bed, I knew medically I should be wanting to relax, but I didn't I knew that witsec would come for me. I also knew there was no other option. All that said, there were two things I needed before they came and wisked me away to a new life; first I needed to say goodbye to Addison Shepard, the doctor that had signed my death certificate, second I couldn't let Olivia think I had died on her watch so I needed to see her. I wasn't just saying goodbye to my doctor though she was the closest thing I had to real family, she was also my lover. Her husband knew about me and I was the one exception to monogamy for him just as long as he knew. The first time I'd fucked Addison we'd been kidds she had been 17 I had been 15. We'd never actually dated but we'd fucked ever since.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Addison asked from the doorway.

"Better, they said I can give you a proper goodbye, so take me home," I said sitting up.

"Al, your hurt, you should rest not say goodbye to me," she whispered tears in her eyes. As she walked in.

"Addie please I can't do this without a goodbye, Addie, I'm ok all I need is a proper goodbye," I sat up on the bed and reached out to her. She came and hugged me, just having her hold me made everthing ok. The fact that I was 'dead', I'd never see my family again, it was all ok.

"Al, it's going to be ok, I promise, I'll take you home and we can say goodbye, just like when I went to collage only this time it's you going away for a little bit instead of me," she was comforting me. I stood beside her letting her hold me.

"So lets go, time for you to take me home and give me a proper goodbye," I started walking toward the door.

"Alexandra you hurt you shouldn't be walking around let alone..." Her voice trailed off.

"Addison just take me home?" I said.

"Alright alright," she said and we slipped out of the hospital, dialing her husbands pager.

It was the gentlest sex we ever had, I could tell tell by how she treated me she was being careful. Careful of the shoulder that only last night had nearly ment my death. I remembered the pain of being shot and wounded how the people I knew could put themselves in places where they risked that kind if pain. How Olivia and Elliot could look down a gun that was pointed at them and be calm.

I was brought back to the here and now when Addison bit my neck. It was gentle just enough to remind me where I was. Addison had always been good in bed, amazing but normally it was rough, hard, bordering violent. Tonight she treated me like a china doll. Most of her kisses held no hint of teeth, she didn't use her nails. She was just gentle and as much as it fixed me, made me ok with what was happening, seved as a goodbye, it also broke my heart because I knew she was holding back. She didn't fuck me, she brought me yes but it was both more and less than fucking. I held her for a long moment before getting going to get up.

"Alex... Please don't leave me," Addison was clinging to me, crying for me not to go. Derek still hasn't answered her calls so there was no one here to comfort her when I left. I wasn't angry with her for being sad but I was furious with Derek. She'd called thirty seven times and paged him 911 at least six.

"Addison I have to, if I stay here I'll be putting you at risk and ill probably get killed, but i'll come back, I don't know when but I promise you I'll come back," I told her gently trying to extract myself from her but I couldn't.

"Please just stay a little while longer, till Derek comes home? I don't want to be alone," she asked.

"Can you call someone else to stay with you, someone who will pick up the phone, then ill wait till they get here but I'm not waiting for Derek," I said. She did as I asked calling untill someone answered and was willing to come and stay with her.

When Mark showed up I left Addison still naked in bed I got in the black sedan that was outside. We drove and they stopped and let me tell Liv I was alive and then it was off to a new life, new name, new job, new town. Alexandra Renee Cabot was dead.