Farfie's Kitchen Knife Ad
Disclaimer:
I don't own Weiss, as great as it is, it is owned by Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss, I'm just borrowing the characters for a bit.
Ok this is a total PWP, written in like 5 minutes when my friend set me a challenge on yahoo messenger to write a commercial for Farfie, in an apron with a kitchen knife. Oh well.
Farfarello, in an apron standing by a sink.
*posh voice* hello, (think Fanny Craddock and 50s cooking programmes) 'I am here today to demonstrate to you the multi-usage of the new *displays package* 'cut above the rest' (cheesy grin) knife ranges' *wrestles a knife out of the packet*
'as you can see, these knives can cut through anything, just watch this carrot *slice* It goes through like butter. It also cuts wood beautifully *slices some more and holds up display* Isn't this pretty? *holds up chopping board with a knife shape engraved*
'And it will even cut through human bo... 'dammit, *tries to cut, the knife won't even sever the skin * dammit'
*He decides to try knife on plastic saucepan handle. works perfectly. shrugs and returns to demo. He lifts the knife to his mouth and runs it across his tongue * 'Mm salty.... huh, no salt...' *Off camera* 'What is wrong with this knife'
*Crawford and Schu behind the camera - 'it's special'*
*Farf starts to wildly attempt to lacerate himself dragging the knife across every part of his body with lots of interspersed 'dammit. damn knife.'
*He goes crazy. The cameraman gets scared as Farf runs after crying 'let me try you. Maybe its just me.'
*he turns quickly to the director* 'I'll buy it if this works, *returns attention to cameraman * 'now come here please'
*He drags the knife over the screaming cameraman. The blade cuts deep and red blood starts to fly everywhere. Off to one side, Crawford evils Farf as his white suit turns a gradual crimson.
'Aha' Farf says to himself satisfied, he tries the knife again, 'DAMMIT' Everyone else legs it very very scared leaving Farf alone to destroy the set
The end
Disclaimer:
I don't own Weiss, as great as it is, it is owned by Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss, I'm just borrowing the characters for a bit.
Ok this is a total PWP, written in like 5 minutes when my friend set me a challenge on yahoo messenger to write a commercial for Farfie, in an apron with a kitchen knife. Oh well.
Farfarello, in an apron standing by a sink.
*posh voice* hello, (think Fanny Craddock and 50s cooking programmes) 'I am here today to demonstrate to you the multi-usage of the new *displays package* 'cut above the rest' (cheesy grin) knife ranges' *wrestles a knife out of the packet*
'as you can see, these knives can cut through anything, just watch this carrot *slice* It goes through like butter. It also cuts wood beautifully *slices some more and holds up display* Isn't this pretty? *holds up chopping board with a knife shape engraved*
'And it will even cut through human bo... 'dammit, *tries to cut, the knife won't even sever the skin * dammit'
*He decides to try knife on plastic saucepan handle. works perfectly. shrugs and returns to demo. He lifts the knife to his mouth and runs it across his tongue * 'Mm salty.... huh, no salt...' *Off camera* 'What is wrong with this knife'
*Crawford and Schu behind the camera - 'it's special'*
*Farf starts to wildly attempt to lacerate himself dragging the knife across every part of his body with lots of interspersed 'dammit. damn knife.'
*He goes crazy. The cameraman gets scared as Farf runs after crying 'let me try you. Maybe its just me.'
*he turns quickly to the director* 'I'll buy it if this works, *returns attention to cameraman * 'now come here please'
*He drags the knife over the screaming cameraman. The blade cuts deep and red blood starts to fly everywhere. Off to one side, Crawford evils Farf as his white suit turns a gradual crimson.
'Aha' Farf says to himself satisfied, he tries the knife again, 'DAMMIT' Everyone else legs it very very scared leaving Farf alone to destroy the set
The end