A/n: And I make my return with this story! Since I'm done with my Disgaea story I decided to do this one now. This idea just popped in my head. I'm filled with ideas! Its been like that for a while. And I have some really weird ideas sometimes. Well whatever, let's get on with the story. Remember to be nice when commenting. If you hate it then tell me what you hated about the story instead of saying "It suxs I h8 u". Oh and I tend to make typos that go overlooked by me and spell check so sorry 'bout that. By the way the title is a joke, stemming from the title of the book Romance of the 3 Kingdoms which is what the anime Ikki Tousen was loosely based on.

Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May cry blah blah blah. I do own Ada and Maya though.

Warning: Rated T for harsh language, crude and sexual humor, and violent catfights later on.

Chapter 1: The girl just came from hell

Lady sat quietly on the couch in the Devil May Cry shop. She was patiently awaiting the return of Trish and Dante. She was really pissed off. They had gone out on a mission without her. Only those two, alone. She had not gone on a mission alone with Dante since she started working with him. Trish had come along or she missed the mission entirely. Lady tapped her foot, completely irritated. She could picture them, chopping demon heads and laughing when they won. Skipping through the fields holding hands.

Where in the hell did that last part come from?

They were like Bonnie and Clyde. Trish had bonded with Dante more than Lady had and it made her mad. She was the green eyed monster all right. Next time she would go on the mission alone with Dante. No Trish. Just the two of them. Lady smiled at that thought. She was like a love struck little school girl, and it pissed her off. No one had ever made her feel this way was before.

Lady decided to take a walk. She needed to let off some steam and what better way to do that than shooting lowly demons to bits in the forest. She hopped off the couch and exited the shop. She slung Kalita Ann over her shoulder and headed toward the forest.

Doooooooooooooooooooooodoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Meanwhile Dante and Trish had just finished off an ugly ass beetle demon. It was huge and did we mention ugly as hell? Finally it dropped to the ground and coughed up blobs of black blood.

"That's gross." Trish said.

Dante poked the biggest one with his sword. There was something weird about it. Just as he thought that, a sword stabbed its way out the middle and sliced all the way down to the bottom. A flash of silver leaped from the sliced blob. Dante turned to see a silver haired beauty kneeling on the ground.

She had long legs, silver hair, red eyes, and was really buxom. But the last thing was all Dante was looking at. The girl looked about 19. She got up and walked up to Dante. She stared at him for a minute. She nodded her head, dropping gunk all over his shoes.

"Will you marry me?" The beauty asked.

It suddenly got really quiet.

"Excuse me? Think I heard you wrong." Dante said.

"Then I'll say it again. Will you be my husband?" The girl asked, smiling. She was dead serious too.

Trish pointed her gun at the women.

"Who are you? Are you a succubus? Fuck off." Trish said harshly.

The woman smiled. "My name is Ada. Are you his girlfriend? Too bad. I'm gonna need you to fuck off!" Ada yelled as she drew her sword and swung it at Trish.

Dante jumped in front of her, blocking with his own sword. Ada was caught off guard, as she fell over.

"Why do you protect her? Is she really your girlfriend?" Ada asked, getting up.

"No. But I don't take too kindly to people hurting her." Dante said.

Trish blushed. What was he saying? She lowered her gun and walked past them.

"Come on Dante. The job is done. Let's go collect our pay." Trish said. Ada suddenly got mad.

"What the hell! I'm not done here! Don't leave with my husband!" Ada yelled.

"Since when was I your husband?" Dante asked. Ada glared at him.

"You are now. I could love you better than she could." Ada said, pointing at Trish. Trish turned around.

"Let's go! Now!" Trish yelled. Dante followed her without saying a word. Ada pouted. Oh she was pissed now. How dare this woman take him away. Dante huh? She heard of him in the demon world. Her father would love to know she married him. No he wouldn't. Ada clumsily fell over a shiny rainbow colored orb.

"Owie." Ada said getting up. She looked at the orb. Looks like someone forgot something.

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"WHAT THE HELL! I SAID SPECIFICALLY TO GET THAT DAMN ORB! WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO TELL MY WIFE NOW! SORRY YOUR RINGS IN A CASTLE MILES AWAY! NO PAY FOR YOU!" a bald man bellowed.

"What? You never said anything about any damn orb. You said to exterminate all the demons in the castle." Trish said.

"Yes I did! You probably didn't listen." The man said, attempting to calm down.

Dante was 10 seconds away from throwing this man through the window.

"Looking for this?" a voice said from behind them. They turned around to see Ada holding the rainbow orb. The man looked in amazement.

"That's it! Here, give it to me!" The man said.

Ada held it from his grasp.

"Reward please." She demanded, holding her hand out.

The man reached into his wallet and handed her a 100 dollar bill. He took the rainbow orb and walked off.

"What the hell? You just sashay in here and take our reward!? You didn't do squat!" Trish said angrily.

Ada laughed. "Kindness pays doesn't it? Let me cut you a deal. Dante makes me his sidekick and I give you this." Ada said, waving the money.

Trish gave her the death glare, but Ada only gave her an evil smile back. Dante had no choice really. This woman was sneaky. Plus he needed that money to pay off his debts.

"All right. No harm in that." Dante said.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Trish said. Ada smiled and handed Dante the bill. She grabbed his arm and smooshed it against her boobs.

"Take me to your office. I wanna see it." Ada demanded.

Dante was too focused on his arm. Trish looked pissed. She was about to behead Ada. How dare that bitch steal her man. It was bad enough with Lady around, now she had this hooker to deal with. Things were going to get real ugly, real soon.

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Lady shot off the final demon in her path. Man this was a good workout. She could take out all her aggressions out on the demons. But it seemed like none were left now. Maybe she went a little too crazy today.

Lady walked off, starting towards the shop. Dante and Trish should be back now. She hoped Trish had gone home. She wanted to speak to him alone. She heard the cries and yells of a girl suddenly. Lady went to see what was up.

She saw a short girl swinging an unknown weapon at some demons. The weapon looked like a giant ball on a stick (what do you call those?) and it was gold on the bottom and blue on the top. It had gold flower over the top and a red ribbon on the handle.

She swung the weapon skillfully, knocking back 3 demons at once. She didn't know who this girl was, but she had skills. The short but nimble woman blew back more demons and smashed them to bits. After the demons were all defeated, she collapsed on the ground.

"I'm so tired." the girl whined. She had short blue hair that was strung around her face wildly. She was short (about 4'11'') and wore a whole lot of leather. Black leather short shorts, black leather tank, black short jacket, and leather boots.

The girl turned around and spotted Lady. She smiled.

"Are you lost too?" she asked.

"No. You mean you are?" Lady asked.

The girl jumped up and charged towards Lady.

"You mean you aren't!? Please help me! I was evicted from my apartment and I've been stuck here for 3 days!" the girl exclaimed, shaking Lady.

"A-alright! Follow me." Lady said, shoving the girl off her.

They walked out the forest. She assumed Dante must have ordered pizza and headed toward Devil May Cry. After 3 days, this girl must be hungry.

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"Wow! Your office is so nice!" Ada exclaimed. She looked around, poking everything.

Trish didn't want to leave yet. She was afraid Ada might try to rape Dante. Or worse, the other way around. This girl was very promiscuous, and Trish didn't trust her.

"Do you have any food? I'm hungry." Ada said. She sat on the couch and waited for an answer.

"I'll go order pizza." Dante said. Ada saw a picture on the wall of a beautiful woman. She walked up to it and examined it. She looked like Trish but something seemed different.

"That's his mother, Eva." Trish said. Ada stared in awe.

"Wow! You look just like her." Ada pointed out.

"No shit Sherlock." Trish said rudely.

"Shut up bitch." Ada replied coldly

"Ho." Trish said

"Asshole."

"Cunt."

"Pussy."

"Prostitute."

"Whore."

"Your mom"

Ada looked as if she was about to cry for a minute.

"BITCH DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT MY MOM!" Ada screamed.

Trish backed away a little. Was this woman bipolar? Lady suddenly entered, stopping their little feud.

"Hey Dante! Do you have any food? This girl hasn't eaten in 3 days." Lady said. The petite girl looked at Dante from behind Lady. A blush crept up her face. He was hot! Lady saw her blushing face and rolled her eyes. Did every damn woman have to fall for Dante!?

Um yeah….

He slammed the phone down and got up.

"Ada what the hell! They heard you screaming over the phone their about to send over the SWAT team!" Dante said, clearly pissed off.

Ada smiled innocently. "I'm sorry. In apology I'll let you do me." Ada said.

Lady was shocked. Who the hell was this whore? She cleared her throat loudly.

"Dante you have a visitor. Go on introduce yourself." Lady said, gently nudging the girl forward. The girl blushed and looked at the ground.

"M-My name is Maya. I was wondering if I could work for you for a little cash." Maya said.

Dante looked at her. Short and cute she was. But how old was she.

"How old are you? Tell the truth." Dante asked.

"Fifteen." Maya said, still looking at the ground.

Damn she wasn't 18. He couldn't try anything. Let's all take comfort in the fact that he's not a pedophile. Trish couldn't believe it. Two new girls! That meant more competition.

"Yup. Just call us the Mighty Morphin' fucking Power Rangers." Trish said sarcastically.

Dante stared at her, amused.

"I LOVE the power rangers! You should be red, Dante! I could be pink, the silver girl blue, that lady black, and you yellow." Maya exclaimed, pointing to Lady.

"Wait, wasn't pink supposed to be red's girlfriend? I should be pink." Ada said.

"No way! Pink is my favorite color. It's a shade of red so that makes me most like red." Maya complained.

"No way girlie! I'm pink and that's final!" Ada said.

They both gave each other hated stares.

"I hate yellow. I should be pink." Lady said.

"Dante! Who should be pink! Tell us!" Maya demanded.

Dante just laughed and walked off, shaking his head.

"I'm pink dammit!" Ada yelled sticking out her tongue like a little kid.

Lady gave her the finger.

"In you dreams woman." Lady said, choosing to leave the fight. Why the hell were they fighting over this? After the pizza came they completely attacked it. Then the discussion came up.

"So Maya, you got evicted right? Where are you going to stay?" Lady asked.

Maya looked puzzled. "Can't I live here?" She asked.

"HELL NO!" Trish and Ada shouted at the same time. Maya glared at them.

Dante ignored them and kept reading his magazine. This was going to be difficult. All the girls did was fight. They just started off on the wrong foot. Maybe they would become friends later. NOT!

"You can live with me, Maya. Who knows what he'd do to you when you sleep." Lady said.

"I'm not like that. I like my women over the legal age of eighteen." Dante replied.

"Yuh right." Lady muttered. She grabbed another slice of pizza and ate it quietly.

"Can I live with you? I don't mind if you touch me while I sleep." Ada teased.

Dante stared at her. Ada just smiled as if she only asked him for a tissue.

"No way! No one lives with him. With the money you make here, you can afford an apartment." Trish said.

Ada glared at her. Trish glared back.

Dante sighed. Things sure as hell were going to get ugly real soon.

A/n: Ah the end of a really long chapter. I hope you like it! Leave a review and be nice. I also hope you like my OCs. I named Ada after one of my friends and Maya after Maya Natsume from Tenjou Tenge. I always liked the name Ada. Anyway that's beside the point. Imagine how violent these girls will get when their on their periods. Well unluckily for Dante that may happen next chapter. OOO. Stay tuned!