**I decided to do one shots based off my music. I thought it'd be a good way to improve my writing skills. Also, if any of my readers have any prompts about the people I know, please send them to me. I'm in the mood to write, but I don't know exactly what to write about. I am still continuing my Howard/Howie fic, I just need a small break from that. Anyways...**
Just A Fool (Christina Aguilera ft. Blake Shelton)
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Dean's POV
We promised each other we would stay together. After everything we've been through, we promised each other we would stick together no matter what. We promised each other we would protect each other. But then again, when do our promises every work out?
We needed each other. We only had each other.
I'm at another bar of some small, unknown town again. That's no big surprise. I have an issue with running away from my problems and trying to drown them in alcohol. I keep asking for the drinks to come, hoping that soon I won't be able to remember anything; hoping that I won't remember how bad this all hurts.
My current problem won't be going away any time soon. This one...it grew. It grew to something I can't handle on my own, but I have no choice. Sam's gone. My little brother's gone. And I don't mean physically. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was supposed to protect him. I was so close too...yet so far away.
Sam came up with a plan. He thought it'd be a good idea to let Lucifer into his body, for him to let Lucifer wear his body. He thought he deserved it since he was the one who had killed Lilith and made the devil rise in the first place. Then he said when he gained control he would send Lucifer back to his cage, which would mean I would lose my brother; the love of my life. I knew it was a bad idea from the beginning...yet it was our only option. I agreed stupidly. I should have never agreed.
Sam went through with the plan. It actually worked...and I actually lost my brother. It gets harder the more I think about it; the way I just let him fall. It was so hard. I restrained myself from not grabbing him, from not preventing him to fall to his possible death. That moment kept replaying in my mind. I wish I would have done something.
I didn't see him for a year, a year I had to go on thinking Sam was dead. I waited so long for him to come home. I lived a normal life with Lisa and Ben during that year but it wasn't the same without Sammy. He was always on my mind. I should've just held my tongue and I should've been thankful for what I had. I should've let it go, but I knew I couldn't have. This is my brother we're talking about. When he finally did come back...he was different. He wasn't my Sammy.
That wasn't where the problem started however. It started with me realizing my god dam feelings for Sammy. And I'm not talking about some brotherly love bullshit either. I was...I am actually in love with my brother. Except he isn't my brother. I finally got him back...just not all of him. Castiel told me his soul was missing. That probably hurt me the most. Who knew that love was so cruel?
He turned into this soulless creature. He isn't even my brother anymore. He is something completely different. He doesn't even care about anyone or anything. He doesn't even care about me.
I even saw him kill an innocent being.
I keep telling myself that maybe tomorrow won't be so bad; maybe it won't be as hard. But I can't kid myself. I know what I'm missing. I know what my brother's really like. This isn't him.
God I miss him.
I miss my real brother.
I was a fool to think all of our promises would ever be kept.