Star Trek: Brazen
Episode 2 – Antiques
Act 1 – The Ringing Phone
Scene 1 – Answer It
The sound came out of the darkness, reaching toward her, clawing and biting like an angry monster, fighting its way into her mind. It was loud, harsh, jarring, like a bell ringing rapidly, faster than a human hand could ring it, mechanical, but old, like the stories of ancient devices used to communicate. What were they called?
"Answer it!" Commander Borgia cried into the thick blackness that surrounded her. Her eyes fought to open, but the blackness was like a heavy blanket covering her face, blocking out the light. "Answer that phone!" she yelled. Phone? Now why did I say that?
The sound crawled closer, piercing her ears until she feared she could never hear another sound but that ringing… That ringing phone. "Answer the phone!" she cried again, and through the darkness she thought she heard laughter.
Her eyes flew open, and the darkness began to slowly fade, bringing her meager quarters into focus. A dim light twinkled in the corner of her eye and grew gradually brighter. The ringing had ceased and was replaced by a dull, digital beeping. Her alarm clock. 0800 hours: time to report for duty.
The commander squeezed into her tiny shower and bathed as quickly as possible, struggling to avoid bumping her elbows on the tile walls. Only two bruises today, not bad. She threw on a clean uniform, choked down some replicated breakfast and made her way to the turbo lift, where the ringing started again.
"What the hell?" she said.
"Please repeat command," the computer replied in its tinny female voice.
"No—bridge," said the commander. The turbo lift whirred to life. "Computer, what is that annoying ringing sound?"
"Please repeat command," said the computer.
Commander Borgia sighed. "Identify the source of that sound!"
"Please specify parameter, 'sound'," the computer replied.
"The ringing! Don't you hear that ringing?"
At that moment the turbo lift doors opened onto the bridge.
"Unable to comply," said the computer. "Insufficient data."
Commander Borgia cleared her throat and stepped onto the bridge; several night shift officers clambered in, yawning and rubbing their eyes. Captain Brown gave her a quizzical glance. The ringing sound had stopped.
"Good morning, Commander," said Lieutenant Ricks cheerfully, swiveling around from his Com station.
Commander Borgia mumbled something that might have been "morning," and took her place beside the captain.
"Hmm, sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays," said Lieutenant Ricks.
"According to your Earth calendar, today is Thursday," Lieutenant Façade chimed in from her place at Ops. Lieutenant Ricks rolled his eyes.
The turbo lift doors opened and Ensign Fretz strolled onto the bridge, carrying a basket of muffins. "Blueberry muffins," she sang. "Baked them myself. Slaved over a hot replicator for hours."
"I've always loved your replicating," said Lieutenant Ricks, gratefully accepting a muffin.
"I don't want to see any crumbs on the equipment," said the captain, through a mouthful of muffin.
"Muffin, Commander?" said Ensign Fretz, thrusting a muffin at Commander Borgia.
"No, thanks," the commander muttered.
"Oof," said the lieutenant, exchanging amused glances with Lieutenant Ricks. "Sounds like a case of the Mondays."
"According to your Earth calendar, today—"
"—is Thursday, yes, thank you, Lieutenant Façade," said the captain, brushing muffin crumbs from his uniform. "What's our ETA at Star Base 52?"
"At our present course and speed, eight hours, twenty-seven minutes, Captain," Lieutenant Façade replied.
"I'll be in my ready r—" the captain's voice was drowned out by the ringing sound, suddenly coming back at full volume.
Commander Borgia leapt from her chair. "Alright, Commander?" asked Lieutenant Ricks.
The commander stared wide-eyed at the bridge crew. "The ringing," she whispered. "Does anyone hear that ringing?" The ringing continued, louder, faster. It swelled until it encompassed the bridge, bouncing off of the monitors and blasting back into the commander's ears. The crew exchanged confused glances. "Lieutenant Façade, what is that ringing?"
"I do not hear any ringing, Commander," said the lieutenant.
Commander Borgia pressed her hands to her ears, but the sound only grew louder. "It's there! I hear it! It won't stop!" She collapsed into her chair. "Answer the phone! Won't someone answer the phone!"
"Lieutenant Ricks, get Dr. Foreman up here," said the captain.
"Aye, Sir." Lieutenant Ricks lifted a shiny black object to his ear, and began turning a small wheel that rested on his Com panel. As he turned the wheel it emitted faint ringing sounds, similar to what the commander was hearing.
"What's that?" Commander Borgia demanded, rushing to the Com station. "What's that in your hand?"
Lieutenant Ricks creased his brow in confusion. "I'm calling Sick Bay, like the captain ordered, Commander."
"Sick Bay," came Dr. Foreman's muffled voice through the device.
"No!" the commander shouted. "That's not how you call Sick Bay! You don't use that!"
"Doctor, please report to the bridge," the lieutenant said into the device.
"On my way," the doctor's voice replied. Lieutenant Ricks put the device back on the wheel, and the commander reached for it. She lifted it from the wheel and heard a loud, steady tone.
"Why don't you have a seat, Commander?" said the captain. "Dr. Foreman will be here soon… Ensign?"
Ensign Fretz rose and approached the commander, gently grasping her shoulders. "Come on, Commander. It'll be OK."
The steady tone stopped and a crackly voice said, "We're sorry. Your call did not go through. Please try your call again. Thank you." The commander dropped the device and stumbled back to her chair. The ringing started again. "Stop it!" she screamed. "This is wrong! All wrong!"
Lieutenant Ricks lifted the device again and the ringing ceased. "Bridge," he said pleasantly.
The turbo lift doors opened and Dr. Foreman stepped out with his medical kit. The captain pointed toward Commander Borgia. "She's hearing ringing, Doctor."
Dr. Foreman opened his case and took out a small cylindrical device with a tiny light at the end. He approached the commander and stuck the device in her ear. "What are you doing?" she yelled, shrugging him off. "What's that?"
"Just relax, Commander," said the doctor. "I need to look in your ears."
The ringing started again. "Bridge," said Lieutenant Ricks, picking up the telephone.
Telephone. What is that?
Commander Borgia turned toward the view screen and saw a tiny square box, which appeared to be made of wood. Its small screen showed a black and white mess that looked like spilled salt and pepper, and it emitted a loud noise like paper rubbing together.
"Damn," said Ensign Fretz, stomping over to the wooden box. "Picture's out again." She fiddled with the two antennae sticking out of the box, and an image of space began to form on the salt-and-pepper screen.
"Change it," said the captain. "This show's boring."
Ensign Fretz turned a dial on the box with a click, and the picture changed to a man riding a horse to lively music.
"Come with me to Sick Bay, Commander," said Dr. Foreman, taking the commander's hand.
Commander Borgia nodded absently and followed him to the turbo lift, which dinged as its doors opened. The doctor pushed a lighted button, and the lift began moving. Soft music played from somewhere inside. Commander Borgia thought she heard laughter, then blackness overcame her again.
Act 2 – Old Fashioned
Scene 1 – Sick Bay
The music floated gently to Commander Borgia's ears, a light melody played on brass and strings, peppered with faint cracking and popping. The commander's heavy eyelids lifted to see Dr. Foreman and a young blonde nurse, dancing cheek to cheek around the beds in Sick Bay. The doctor's hand slid down to the seat of the nurse's uniform and the nurse giggled.
"Stop!" the commander groaned, "or I'm gonna pass out again."
The nurse tottered over to Commander Borgia and leaned over her, shining a bright light in her eyes. "How are you feeling?" she asked loudly over the music.
"Like I spent the night chugging Saurian brandy," said the commander, massaging her temples. "What's that music?"
"Dr. Foreman's record," said the nurse.
Commander Borgia blinked up at her in confusion. "His what?"
"His record, see?" The nurse indicated a small wooden box in the corner, on which a shiny black disk spun steadily.
"What the hell is that?" the commander asked.
Dr. Foreman and his nurse stared at her with concerned expressions. "It plays music. Don't you know?" said the nurse, pressing a hand to the commander's forehead.
"No, I don't! What is going on around here with all this old stuff? I mean, I knew this ship had outdated equipment, but this is ridiculous! Lieutenant Ricks is using a telephone, there's a—what do you call it?—television on the bridge, and you're shining lights in my face! Where's your tricorder?"
The nurse looked frightened and grasped the doctor's arm. "Just relax, Commander," said the doctor. "Everything's going to be alright."
The ringing started again. "There it is!" the commander exclaimed. "That ringing!" She shot up from the bed and looked around wildly.
"It's OK," the nurse cooed. "It's just the telephone."
Dr. Foreman picked up a powder blue telephone receiver. "Sick Bay… Yes, she is… I don't know yet, I have to run a few more tests… Yes, Sir." He replaced the receiver.
"This is crazy!" shouted Commander Borgia. "We don't use telephones! We haven't for hundreds of years!"
"Just lie down and rest now, Commander," said Dr. Foreman.
"No!" Commander Borgia ran to the door and slammed right into it, hitting her head hard. "Why didn't this thing open?" She looked down and saw an old fashioned doorknob. "Oh, God!" She twisted the doorknob back and forth until it opened, and dashed into the corridor, where a group of officers stood drinking from aluminum cans. She seized one of the cans and examined it. "What is this?" she demanded.
"It's just beer, baby, you want some?" said one of the officers with a drowsy smile.
"Yeah, come party with us, Commander!" said another. They all whooped and raised their cans.
"No!" Commander Borgia shouted. "You don't drink beer from cans! It comes from a replicator!" She threw the can at the officers, splashing beer onto the walls and the floor, then rushed toward the turbo lift.
"I'll replicate with you, baby!" one of the drunken officers called after her. The group whooped again.
Scene 2 – The Bridge
Commander Borgia waited impatiently outside the turbo lift, but the doors would not open. "Computer!" she yelled. "Open the turbo lift!" There was no response. "Computer!" she tried again.
"Who are you talking to, Commander?" asked a young ensign who appeared beside her.
"These doors won't open," said the commander.
The ensign reached forward and pressed a button, and the doors suddenly opened with a ding. The commander stepped onto the turbo lift and shouted, "Bridge!" The lift did not move.
"You have to push the button," said the ensign, indicating a panel on the wall.
"What? Since when?" the commander demanded. The ensign shrugged and pressed a button marked "B." "B for bridge," he said with a polite smile. The lift began to move.
Commander Borgia felt dizzy and grasped her head. What is going on here?
"You OK, Commander?" asked the ensign. "Maybe you should go to Sick Bay."
"No!" Commander Borgia cried. "I'm not sick! I'm not crazy!" The turbo lift dinged and the doors opened onto the bridge, where the captain and crew were staring at the television screen, watching what looked like a baseball game.
"Feeling better, Commander?" asked Lieutenant Ricks.
Lieutenant Façade turned from her station and Commander Borgia noticed she had been tapping away on a typewriter. "Why are you doing that?" the commander asked. "What happened to your Ops panel?"
"I am sorry, Commander, I do not understand," Lieutenant Façade replied.
"You're a highly sophisticated android, using a typewriter! Doesn't anyone find that strange?" The faint laughter floated back to her. "And who's that laughing?" She turned to see if someone was behind her, and when she turned back, Lieutenant Façade's typewriter had become a notepad and pencil. "Alright," said the commander. "I give up. I'm crazy. You all win." She dropped heavily onto her chair and looked toward the television, which was now a giant wooden radio. The laughter grew louder.
"Commander Borgia," came Lieutenant Ricks's voice.
"What?" asked the Commander, turning to the lieutenant.
Lieutenant Ricks shook his head. "I didn't say anything."
The commander turned back. The radio was now a giant painting of a country landscape. That makes sense.
"Commander Borgia, come in," Lieutenant Ricks's voice said again.
"I'm right here, Lieutenant," said the commander.
When she turned to Lieutenant Ricks, he was tapping on a telegraph machine. "I didn't say anything, Commander."
"Commander Borgia, please come in," his voice came again, but his lips didn't move.
The bridge began to turn fuzzy, then gray. The laughter came again.
"Commander, come in!"
The faces of the crew melted into the dull gray background.
"Commander Borgia, do you read me?"
The antique equipment evaporated into gray sky.
"Commander! Come in!"
The gray dissolved into bright white light. More laughter.
Act 3 – The Alien Ship
Scene 1 – Wake Up Call
"W-what?" Commander Borgia rubbed her eyes and looked around. She was in a white room, surrounded by short figures in white clothes and masks that covered most of their faces. They spoke in strange whines and clicking sounds, and one of them lifted a hypospray. The commander felt her body spring to action before her brain knew what it was doing. Her hand swung out and knocked the hypo from the figure's hand, and she jumped to her feet. The aliens whined and clicked at each other and began to shuffle after her.
"Commander, do you read me?" came Lieutenant Ricks's voice from her communicator. She pressed it and said, "Yes, Lieutenant, get me out of here!"
"We can't get a lock on you," said the lieutenant. "You're in some kind of force field."
Short aliens in white clothes darted in front of her as she ran, but she eluded them easily. "What can I do, Lieutenant?"
"Commander, this is Lieutenant Façade. The force field's energy is emanating from a strong source approximately twelve meters to your right. If you can get to the source and disable it—"
"Got it, Lieutenant." The commander turned right and pushed passed all of the aliens clicking at her. Straight ahead was a large silver control panel with a bright screen flashing foreign symbols. She took out her phaser and fired at the panel.
"The force field has been disabled," came Lieutenant Façade's voice.
"Great, get me out of here! Energize!" A group of aliens were hurriedly working on the busted control panel. Two of them rushed toward her with large metallic staffs in their hands; they pointed the staffs and clicked loudly at her. "Hurry up, Lieutenant!" she barked.
Scene 2 – WTF?
Moments later, Commander Borgia found herself on the Brazen's transporter pad, clutching her phaser tightly. "Welcome back, Commander," said the transporter chief with a weak smile. His face was pale and beads of sweat gleamed on his brow. "We almost lost you, there, ha ha." He swallowed hard and wiped his sweaty palms on his uniform.
"Thanks, Chief. Good work," said the commander, stepping down on shaky legs. Captain Brown, Dr. Foreman, and Lieutenant Façade came through the doors, which opened on their own, to the commander's huge relief.
"Glad to have you back, Commander," said the captain, placing a strong hand on her shoulder.
"What the hell just happened to me?" asked the commander.
"You don't remember anything?" asked Dr. Foreman. He took out his tricorder and the familiar hum soothed Commander Borgia greatly.
"I'm just glad you're using a tricorder, and not shining a flashlight in my face," the commander said with a laugh.
"Interesting," said Lieutenant Façade. "We believe the aliens attempted to stimulate your brain waves, and essentially fabricate thoughts, events, and ideas in your mind. However, their knowledge of human life was woefully outdated."
"That explains the telephones, and the television, and the typewriter." Commander Borgia shuddered.
The captain smiled. "So you got a real taste of ancient Earth life. How was it?"
"I don't know how people ever lived like that," said the commander with a heavy sigh.
"All systems normal," said Dr. Foreman. "A little R&R and you'll be fine."
"But first," said the commander. "Someone replicate me some Saurian brandy."