Title: Speak Now
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1,100
Characters: Steve/Natasha, Tony
Summary: Tony makes a toast at Steve and Natasha's wedding reception.

A/N: Inspired by fanfic I read years before that I rediscovered because I went on an anime/manga binge last week, so I guess, as distracting as that binge was to my actual writing, it still served a purpose in the end! I wanted to write in Sam or Bucky's voice because I felt it would fit a little more but neither was sounding right, so Tony Stark strikes again.

Speak Now

"Speeches aren't really my thing. I'm definitely not like old Cap over there, who can pull this beautifully-crafted monologue right out of his a— out of thin air.

(Yeah, I know Baby James is listening, bud. I'll watch my language.)

But to be asked to say whatever I want in front of them and their guests, and with their permission? Couldn't be passed up. I see your scolding look, by the way, Grandpa. I promise I ran all of this by Pepper. It has her golden seal of approval, because even though I've, you know, saved your life – both of your lives, actually – I know you trust her judgment more than you'll ever trust mine. And trust me when I say that the first speech was perfect, but Pepper said I should try to keep the toast about you two, so you're getting this version instead.

So we're going to skip over the obvious part where I congratulate you for the thousandth time today about the whole marriage thing and everyone gives another round of applause to the newlyweds and all that good stuff, because let me tell you. Let me tell you that these two do not deserve all of the fuss over being the most infuriating couple I've ever known.

Yes, you heard me: infuriating.

After witnessing how incredibly sappy these two have been all day, would you believe me when I said that there was a time when they were incredibly inept at public displays of affection? Because it was bad, folks. Incredibly horrifying. A piece of work.

There used to be a lot of flirting, in a very non-flirting way. Clint knows what I'm talking about. We used to make a game out of it at parties – take a shot every time one of them made an incredibly obvious advance towards another only for it to end in both of them running away with their tail between their legs. Needless to say, we were hammered pretty quickly.

(Yeah, Gramps, you heard right—all those glorious hangovers that you lectured me about were actually all your fault. So, you know. I win.)

Now some of you romantics out there may find that sweet. World's worst flirters, trying to flirt with each other. I guess there was something charming about it.

But then it got worse.

Because then they learned how to flirt, and they got better at it, and better at making me and the rest of The Avengers incredibly uncomfortable in their presence. I was almost convinced that they were doing it on purpose – they're punks like that, you know? And I also contemplated the idea that they were actually, secretly together, doing the do under all of our noses. But they lived under my roof, and under the watchful eyes of my security cameras, and no matter how much digging I did, there was no evidence to back my theory up.

So I was faced with the reality that these two were just completely unaware of how much flirting they were doing. I must've laughed for a good five minutes.

And Nat over there, she used to set the old man up on dates—and he'd go. How about that for the cherry on top of this glorious rom-com sundae?

It was excruciating, to say the least. Watching them dance around each other, flirting over here, flirting over there, flirting during a mission. Scandalous, I know, and completely unprofessional as our leader, might I add. The old man tried not to look disappointed when Nat set him up with this girl and that girl, and Nat tried not to look disappointed when he'd take her advice and go on those stupid dates. I was convinced you were playing some sort of game, my friend, but I greatly overestimated you. You were actually just that hopeless.

So, by now, you all have a pretty good picture of exactly how infuriating these two were at courting each other.

Then, when they finally get together – a story, by the way, none of us have heard the entirety of – these two have the audacity to flaunt it in front of our faces.

(Don't even go there with that look, Natasha. You know you're guilty.)

If you thought all the unresolved sexual tension was bad, the continuously resolved sexual tension was even worse. I don't have enough fingers to count how many times they—

(Okay, okay, Pepper, I get it. Not going there. But you and I both know what I'm counting and how high that number really is.)

Did I think they did it maliciously? Maybe a little, in the beginning. But, as much as it disgusted me to watch Mom and Dad sitting in a tree, I could tell that all those little touches, those secret smiles, those knowing looks – they couldn't help any of it. They were just as oblivious to their public affection as they were to their flirting.

Because that's how in love they are with each other. That's how in love they've always been with each other, even when their feelings weren't at that stage yet.

Why else would they be too distracted to pay attention to anything else when they're together?

(Always the look of surprise from you when something intellectual comes out of my mouth, Natasha. I'm hurt.)

I do pick up on these things, you know.

And I, being the romantic that I am, believe that from the beginning, all of us knew that they were going to be together. Never have I ever seen two people fit together as easily upon first meeting as those two did. Never have I seen that kind of trust, that kind of cohesiveness, that kind of genuine understanding, before these two came into my life. So the question was never a matter of if they belonged together, because it was obvious that they did. It was a question of how long would go by before the two of them faced their fears and took the chance at happiness together. Because I knew that they'd get there – they'd get here – sooner or later. They're two of the bravest people I know and two of the smartest, might I add.

They knew better than to walk away from something as once in a lifetime as each other.

Yeah, I went there, Steve. You and Natasha are once in a lifetime. And I am as honored to have you both in my life as I am honored to have been asked to make a toast at your wedding reception.

So lift your glasses, ladies and gentlemen, and join me in another round of applause for the newlyweds. Marriage will be your greatest adventure yet.

Don't screw it up."