Hello dear fellows. How are you all this fine day? I know what you are all thinking. You are thinking 'Another one? She is writing another one?! What about It Takes Two? What about that final possible chapter of Everything Starts Somewhere? What about the final chapter of Intoxicated?' Well, do not panic, do not fear, It Takes Two is still continuing, I am still working on the last chapter of Intoxicated and I am still uncertain about Everything At Once.

'So,' I hear you say, 'What are you doing with this? Surly you are so busy with this then?'

And I shall reply with this: I do not know. I. Do. Not. Know. I had a bad nights sleep the night before valentines day and coupled with my initial hatred for the day, was in a very bad mood, meaning I was left alone to my anger by my family, nobody wanting to incur the wrath of me, and started writing this. And I continued to write it. And continued. And continued a little more. And then I realised I had written an entire story in one document. I think the word document was actually 25 pages long, and I really did not want to split it up into chapters, but I realised that it was realistically too long to have as a one shot. So, I shall upload it one chapter a day, until I am out of chapters. As I write this author's note, I realise that this does not even have a title yet. I wonder what I shall name it…

A Life Worth Living

Chapter One

He lifted his head up and let it drop back onto the pillow. He stared at the tangle of brown curls in front of him and recognised the familiar heady scent of coconut shampoo. Great he thought. This one even uses the same shampoo as her. He'd noticed that lately he had been favouring brunets to blondes, particularly brunets with long, curly hair and tanned skin. His 'substitutes' as he'd grown to call them. He never bothered to remember their names, they never satisfied his need for her anyway. He groaned and closed his eyes and for a moment allowed himself to imagine it was her lying next to him. She even snored like Ziva.

She shivered at how cold it was in the room. The air-con was on. In the middle of February. She opened her eyes to the sight of a three-quarters empty bottle of tequila. She remembered up to the third glass of red wine, then everything went just a little more than slightly fuzzy. It wasn't like her; she could normally handle her liquor quite well. She closed her eyes again and allowed her heavy head to drift back to sleep, for once not caring that Gibbs would kill her when she turned up late. Subconsciously she registered a groan coming from somewhere behind her.

She watched, entranced, as the red liquid glugged into the glass, not really caring how much she poured. He had been gloating about his date for the night when she had finally had enough and left. Valentines day. It was by far the worst day of the year. Why did people even celebrate it anyway? McGee had spent the morning explaining it to her. Then Tony had tried, just making it worse. She ignored the knocking at her door. It was probably Abby or McGee or Ducky or the director. She had left the bullpen in quite a hurry. "Hey, Ziva, open up will you!" She stayed silent during Tony's yelling. He'd get bored soon enough and leave her alone to wallow. "I know you're in there, David! Now open this damn door!" She couldn't muster the strength to tell him to leave; she wanted him there after all. She just knew that having him there would make everything hurt more, knowing that he was there in front of her and yet she couldn't have him, but she could never say no to him and really mean it. She just had to ride out the storm. He was Tony DiNozzo, he got bored of every woman eventually, and he would get bored of her pretty soon if she just refused to open the door. It didn't cross her mind to wonder why he was stood at her door, and not out with his date. The date that he had been raving about all day. "You started without me." She felt pressure on the sofa cushion as he slumped down next to her.

"How did you get in here?"

"Picked the lock." He shrugged, staring at the profile of her face as she refused to look at him.

"Why?"

"My date said her fiancée was offering a more secure relationship than just a fling." He shrugged again. "I brought tequila."

"So why did you bring the tequila to my place? Why not McGee?"

"'Cause McGee is out with Abby." She nodded, recalling something about a yearly tradition between the two friends.

"What about Gibbs?"

"Ziva, I may be desperate, but I am not desperate enough to sit in a dark basement drinking bourbon and watching Gibbs build another damn boat." He laughed and she looked at him for the first time that evening.

"Why did you not just go to a bar and pick up some bimbo?" The bitterness was clear in her voice.

"Because I'm fed up of going to bed with random women. Besides, who'd want me? Really actually want me?"

"What are you talking about DiNozzo? Who would not want you?" She drained the glass that she had been sipping from as he drank straight from the bottle of tequila.

"Are you saying you want me?"

"That is not what I said." She shook her head and took the alcohol out of his hand.

"Yes, it is."

"So what if I do then? What do you propose?"

She was startled awake when a glass of water was placed rather heavily on the bedside cabinet. "Sorry." A mumbled apology was given. She looked up at Tony's face.

"Not just a dream then?"

"Nope." He shook his head slowly and left the room, heading towards the bathroom. She dressed silently, knowing she needed a shower and also knowing that they needed to sort this out as soon as possible, meaning that hot water and coconut shampoo would have to wait. She walked through to her kitchen and made a pot of coffee and toast. The silence was oppressive as they sat opposite each other at the table, picking at their toast.

They both opened their mouths to speak. "Last night was a drunken mistake. It will never happen again, it will never be mentioned again and it will never be thought of again." He stared at her, shocked.

"Right, if that's what you want." He nodded. It certainly wasn't what he wanted, but he knew that disagreeing with Ziva could be dangerous.

"We will go on as if nothing ever happened." She stated. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was the only way she could protect herself. It was the only way to stop herself from getting hurt by him.

"Good." His heart was telling him to fight; his brain was telling him to avoid all bodily harm, or even just threats of bodily harm. No point in trying for the impossible, DiNozzo. The heart wants what it wants and hers clearly does not want you.

Of course, their plan for everything to go back to how it was didn't really work. There were fewer jokes, and those that were told were always well within acceptable limits of professionalism. They didn't flirt – it was hard to flirt if you had had a taste of what was on offer and had then had it taken away from you. Neither wanted to disturb the sleeping monster in the corner by provoking it with an uncensored comment, so awkward silences often filled the squad room, puzzling McGee, infuriating Gibbs and producing a wonderful source of entertainment for everyone not attached to the MCRT. An abundance of bets were placed by other agents as to what was going on, along with other guessing games and gossip. Rumours sparked, although everyone was very careful to keep their rumours out of Leroy Jethro Gibbs' earshot.

Weeks past. A month. Then two. Cases came and went, tension increasing every time Tony and Ziva were partnered together. Tensions increasing every time they were partnered separately. McGee saw the silence as a gap that needed filling, so he started lecturing them more on computers and CPUs and servers. Gibbs was the only one to ever tell him to shut up, and even then, after a while he just let the younger agent talk to break the silences that emanated throughout the squad room.

"…And so that's how you defrag a hard drive." McGee said as he continued to write up the report on the last case they had worked. He was smiling, feeling that he had departed some more of his technological wisdom onto his colleagues.

"DiNozzo, David, with me. NOW!" Gibbs yelled as they both stared at him. It took a second for them to kick into action, but as soon as they realised that he had walked off they leapt up and followed him to MTAC, neither looking at the other. Five autopsy images of dead women were on the screen as they walked in.

"Who are they, Boss?" Tony asked.

"Dead marine wives." Gibbs didn't avert his eyes from the screen. "Each had been reported missing for approximately three weeks before their bodies were found. They all had their throats slit, each with a different style of knife."

"Whose case is it?" Ziva studied each of the faces carefully. Each had a certain haunting quality to it, almost like fear. Like they were still afraid, even in death.

"Ours, now."

"Why wasn't it ours before?"

"The first four were killed at San Diego Naval base. The last was killed at Norfolk. Killer's been one step ahead of us the whole time."

"So what're we gonna do about it?"

"You two are going undercover." Gibbs shrugged and their jaws both dropped. "Go down to Abby for IDs. She's already been briefed. You've got a two bedroom in base housing waiting for you."

"Two bedroom – so we don't have to share a room?" Tony looked relived.

"One of 'em's a nursery, DiNozzo."

"A nursery?!"

"All five women were pregnant."

"Wouldn't this have been something to tell us first?! Can't McGee do this?!" Tony's voice was high and screechy.

"DiNozzo, you were the two that fit the profile of the victims."

"Except that I am not pregnant!" Ziva started yelling as well.

"You propose putting a pregnant woman at risk, Ziva?"

"No, but… Why me?! Why Tony?!"

"It should only be a month, tops."

"What happens when people realise that I am not actually pregnant, Gibbs?"

"We should be done before then. Story is that you're trying for a kid." He looked between the two agents. "Here's your background, just need names so Abby can formulate IDs." He handed Ziva, the outwardly calmer of the two, a manila folder. "Watch your six, the pair of you."

For my reference: 18th NCIS fic.