Okay, this is my first fic of this type... basically its just Hisoka's thoughts on a certain
someone ^^ I hope you all enjoy it as I'm still unsure about writing this type of fic...lemme
know what you all think ok!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rain beat steadily on my head as I walked down the street. It was cold, but of course it
didn't really bother me-not like I'm human anymore. I just needed an escape from reality,
some time to think on my own. I had been struggling ever since I became a shinigami-most people
wouldn't put up with my cold attitude for very long. In fact, I was surprised he hadn't left me
yet like all the others...
Him.
My thoughts always somehow or another turned back to him. He was so kindhearted the first
time we met...I didn't get how someone could be that warm and open. Somehow he had gotten
past my barriers and became much more than merely someone I have to work with. Whenever I was
most afraid and lonely, he'd be there, a dumb smile on his face.
Sure, I tease him, make fun of him, but I'm really trying to cover up just how badly I need him.
I had promised myself I wouldn't ever come to depend on another person so much, but he made me
break that solemn vow. And I knew that no matter how warm his smile, he too held a dark and
tragic past that he only wanted to forget.
I just wish I could be to him what he is to me. I've always had the feeling that he's only
just tolerating me, that really I don't mean a thing to him...although after all we've been
through, I do wonder...
Every time he lightly touches me, I wonder what those hands would feel like softly running
over my bare skin, smoothing over every inch of me.
I do fantasize about him-more so recently than in the past. He'd come into my dreams and do
the most incredible unimaginable things to me...
But after all, they're only dreams. I did want him...need him. But is that all it is? Just a
need? Or is it more?
I'm never good at deciphering my own emotions. Sure, I can read others, but my own remain
a mystery. Of course...anymore when he touches me, his emotions are unclear and hard to
read. Or maybe it's just because I'm too busy trying to figure out my own emotions?
Maybe I'm just denying that this I feel, this...comfort, is actually that emotion they like
to call love. Had I actually managed to fall in love, the one thing that I vowed never to let
myself do? The more I thought about it, the more it became apparent.
He's perfect-bright violet eyes, dark brown hair, soft smile, warm voice-everything I love.
Does he feel the same though?
Maybe one day I'll tell him. Maybe one day he'll know.
But for now, I'll have to be content just admiring him from the shadows.
And as he runs towards me in the drizzling rain, calling out my name, I can't help but give
the slightest of smiles.
It's all clear. My mind is made up.
I love you...
Tsuzuki...
someone ^^ I hope you all enjoy it as I'm still unsure about writing this type of fic...lemme
know what you all think ok!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rain beat steadily on my head as I walked down the street. It was cold, but of course it
didn't really bother me-not like I'm human anymore. I just needed an escape from reality,
some time to think on my own. I had been struggling ever since I became a shinigami-most people
wouldn't put up with my cold attitude for very long. In fact, I was surprised he hadn't left me
yet like all the others...
Him.
My thoughts always somehow or another turned back to him. He was so kindhearted the first
time we met...I didn't get how someone could be that warm and open. Somehow he had gotten
past my barriers and became much more than merely someone I have to work with. Whenever I was
most afraid and lonely, he'd be there, a dumb smile on his face.
Sure, I tease him, make fun of him, but I'm really trying to cover up just how badly I need him.
I had promised myself I wouldn't ever come to depend on another person so much, but he made me
break that solemn vow. And I knew that no matter how warm his smile, he too held a dark and
tragic past that he only wanted to forget.
I just wish I could be to him what he is to me. I've always had the feeling that he's only
just tolerating me, that really I don't mean a thing to him...although after all we've been
through, I do wonder...
Every time he lightly touches me, I wonder what those hands would feel like softly running
over my bare skin, smoothing over every inch of me.
I do fantasize about him-more so recently than in the past. He'd come into my dreams and do
the most incredible unimaginable things to me...
But after all, they're only dreams. I did want him...need him. But is that all it is? Just a
need? Or is it more?
I'm never good at deciphering my own emotions. Sure, I can read others, but my own remain
a mystery. Of course...anymore when he touches me, his emotions are unclear and hard to
read. Or maybe it's just because I'm too busy trying to figure out my own emotions?
Maybe I'm just denying that this I feel, this...comfort, is actually that emotion they like
to call love. Had I actually managed to fall in love, the one thing that I vowed never to let
myself do? The more I thought about it, the more it became apparent.
He's perfect-bright violet eyes, dark brown hair, soft smile, warm voice-everything I love.
Does he feel the same though?
Maybe one day I'll tell him. Maybe one day he'll know.
But for now, I'll have to be content just admiring him from the shadows.
And as he runs towards me in the drizzling rain, calling out my name, I can't help but give
the slightest of smiles.
It's all clear. My mind is made up.
I love you...
Tsuzuki...