Hello readers! I am ClassicGamer, your writer for however long it takes you to read this. Now this is my first fanfic so it might not be amazing but please try and enjoy. This is just something I thought could have happened after the episode "Clear"
Now I'd like to remind everyone that I do not own "The Walking Dead"
I was standing in the middle of a field just staring into space when I heard something or someone walking behind me. I turned around and saw a walker shuffling towards me. Its flesh was pale and rotting, it had a huge gash in its stomach and I could see some of his guts hanging out. I immediately reached for my gun and aimed at the walkers head. But as it got closer and I studied its face I froze. It was Dale Horvath, a member of our group whose death I had caused.
I started shaking my head "No no no! Please not you!" It kept getting closer and I started to back away, refusing to believe what I was seeing. "I'm sorry! Dale please stop!" I begged him or it even though I knew it couldn't understand me. I tripped over a log and it stood over me ready to drop down and bite into me. I couldn't bring myself to shoot it, so I closed my eyes surrendering myself to the beast that used to be a part of my new family.
"Carl!"
I jerked awake and open my eyes, breathing heavily. I looked around and saw that I was in the car that my dad, Michonne, and I had gone out on the run in. I must have fallen asleep on the return trip. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up at the owner. It was my dad, Rick; he looked at me eyes full of concern.
"You were shaking in your sleep, are you alright?" He asked in a gentle tone.
I nodded my head as I tried to get my breathing under control. "Yeah, I just had a bad dream. I'm fine." I responded.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me slowly taking his arm away, still not sure that I was fully alright.
"No, it's fine. Thanks though." He nodded and turned back to the front of the car, maybe I should have told him. After Dale had first died I'd had similar dreams for a few days. But that had been months ago, I didn't need to worry him with them again, especially not now with all the Woodsbury stuff going on.
"Alright, now come on we're home and we need to unload the guns." My dad said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. Michonne also got out and I grabbed my Stetson hat and did the same. When I got out I looked around the prison that we'd made our home in, it seemed like the amount of walkers in the yard had gone down. I turned saw some of our group coming out to greet us. While Michonne and I went to the trunk to start unloading the guns my dad walked up to the others. On the way into the cellblock we slept in I waved hello to Daryl Dixon, and Glenn. I thought I noticed something different about them but I wasn't sure so I just kept walking.
Upon entering Cellblock C I saw Carol Peletier, Hershel Greene, and Hershel's daughter Beth. When they saw me they smiled and greeted me and I again thought that there was something different about all of their appearances but I ignored it. I put down the bags I had brought in and reached into one of them. I pulled out a picture of my dad, my mom and I that I had grabbed out of a bar during the gun run into my home town, King's County Georgia.
"Did everything go okay?" Carol asked while coming down the stairs, carrying the box with my baby sister Judith in it, which had "Lil Ass-kicker" Daryl's nickname for her printed on the side.
"Yeah, everything went fine. My dad has a…," I hesitated not sure how to describe Morgan the man we'd met in my hometown, "friend who was able to lend us these guns."
Carol simply nodded before taking notice of the photo in my hand, "What do you have there?" I looked down at the picture again, a lump formed in my throat at seeing my mom, she was dead. She passed away due to an emergency C-section when giving birth to Judith.
"It's a picture of my family, before the outbreak." I swallowed the lump and took a deep breath forcing myself not to cry. "I thought that Judith should at least know what her mom looked like." Beth, who had been helping Hershel get down the steps with his crutches, had come up behind me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder, she was really nice like that.
"That was really thoughtful of you." She told me in a gentle voice. I hoped that I wasn't blushing but no one said anything so I guess I hadn't. Now wasn't really the time for me to think about my crush, or for anyone to find out about it.
I handed the picture to Carol who put it in the make shift crib. "We got her a crib too." I mentioned off handedly. "Was everything okay while we we're gone?" I asked, wanting to make sure that we hadn't been attacked again.
Beth smiled brightly at me and Carol and Hershel both had grins on their faces. I looked at all of them, confused as to what was so amazing. Carol was the one to speak up. "While you were out the boys started clearing out some more of the prison and they found the showers." My eyes went wide. That had been what was different, everyone looked cleaner than they had yesterday. We hadn't bathed in months! The last time I'd taken a shower was when we were staying at Hershel's farm. I decided that after bringing everything in that's the first thing I'd do.
After talking to Beth and the others I went out to get the crib, I couldn't lift it so Daryl helped me. We talked on the way in. I asked him how things had been with his older brother Merle. Merle wasn't one of my favorite people that I'd met since the outbreak. He was a pretty big jackass. When my dad and he first met my dad had handcuffed him to a roof in Atlanta for getting into a fight with some of the others. They had forgotten about him and he had to cut his hand off to get away from some walkers. He had then gone to Woodsbury and gotten a metal stump kind of thing as a replacement and worked with the people there. At first my dad didn't want him to come back to the prison so Daryl and Merle went on their own. I guess that didn't work out because a day later they both came back. But he was still on thin ice with most of us, especially my dad.
Daryl said that he had to remind Merle to behave a couple of times but other than that he'd been okay. He asked me if anything had happened in K.C. I decided not to tell him about how I'd shot Morgan.
After we took all of the guns out of the car I had Glenn lead me to where the showers are. I couldn't wait! As soon as Glenn left I turned on the water, stripped and bathed. The shower had everything, soap, shower, warm water. It was amazing! I hadn't felt so clean in what felt like forever. Unfortunately it couldn't last because my dad and Michonne needed to shower too and they'd probably be mad if I used up all the hot water. So after doing the essentials I turned off the water, got dressed and returned to the cellblock.
A couple hours later we ate dinner, some deer that Daryl had gone out and shot with his crossbow. Other than the events in King's County today had been the best day we'd had since we found the prison. After dinner Daryl went out to the watchtower to keep watch. I went up to the cell I'd been sharing with my dad. I took off my hat, took off my flannel shirt and grey long-sleeved undershirt and climbed up into the top bunk. I fell asleep almost immediately.
I was standing in prisons boiler room, I was standing over my mother's corpse fighting back tears, gun in my hand aimed at her head. I had to pull the trigger. I had to! But just as I was about to do it she looked at me, "Carl?" She said weekly. My eyes went wide and I dropped my gun rushing to kneel by her side.
"Mom, mom I'm here. Don't worry, I'll go get Maggie and Hershel and we'll fix you! You're going to live!" I was so happy! I thought she was dead and now she wasn't. I got up to go get Hershel and Maggie when I felt Mom tug on my arm, I fell back and looked at her confused as to why she was doing this. But it wasn't my mom anymore, she was a walker. She bit down on my arm and I screeched in pain. Why was this happening? Everything was going to be alright, I'd been so sure of it! Mom climbed on top of me and bit down on my neck. I could feel myself dying!
I shot up in my bunk in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. I ran my hand through my hair and down my face to wipe some of the sweat off. Another dream, at least that one sort of made sense it had only been a few days since I had to watch my mother die and shoot her in the head to keep her from reanimating. So having a dream about that was understandable. I was still tired but I didn't want to risk having another dream like that so I would go take over watch. I looked over the edge of my bunk to make sure my dad was still asleep, which he was, after that I climbed down and got dressed as silently as I could. I could hear it raining outside so I put my hat back on and snuck out. Thankfully everyone was asleep so I didn't have to worry too much about being caught.
I was soaking wet by the time I got to the watch tower, I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep so I didn't know who to expect when I got to the top. I could see through the tower window that it was Daryl in his poncho, so I could assume that I'd slept less than two hours. I took a deep breath, not sure how he would react to me relieving him. I opened the door and he looked over, when he saw me come through it he immediately got a disgruntled look on his face as he lowered his crossbow, I guess he was worried someone might have sneaked their way up here.
"Kid what the hell are you doing up here?" He asked the second he saw me.
"I came to take over the watch." I stated as plainly as I could.
"You should be in bed. Rick would be pissed if he knew you were out here, this late and in this weather."
"I'm not tired. And my dad doesn't have to know, just go to sleep and let me take over."
"You'll catch a cold, hell you don't even have a rifle. What are you gonna do if you see a walker get in? Fire shots with your pistol and hope they hit?"
"I'll stay under the roof!" I yelled quietly, "Just go to bed. I'll be fine." Daryl sighed in defeat and grunted a "fine" before going back down the steps and presumably to his perch. I sighed thankful that I was finally alone. I still felt exhausted and being in the cold rain hadn't helped much. I decided I'd just sit down under the roof, I could still see the yard and I could sort of make out the shape of the walkers.
I don't remember falling asleep but I knew that what was happening had to be a dream. It had to be! I refused to believe what I was seeing. I was crouched behind a wall in the courtyard with Beth next to me. Maggie was behind some make shift cover. We were pinned down by some guy in the watch tower. We were being attacked by some guys from Woodsbury. I didn't know where my dad was, he'd been outside all day. I was scared that he was going to get killed. After a couple minutes the shooting stopped, I looked around the wall and saw that the guy was gone. I looked across the courtyard. "DAD!" I shouted happy to see him alive, but it didn't last. As soon as I had shouted out to him I heard a gunshot, in the next second my dad was on the ground with a hole in his chest. I rushed over to him cursing under my breath. How could this happen? I checked, the guy in the tower was gone! How could he just reappear? This had to be a dream, Dad had to be okay.
I kneeled down next to him, "Dad? Dad please be okay please!" I could feel tears forming in my eyes.
"C-Carl, you'll be alright." I shook my head; I pressed a hand to the wound and tried to stop the bleeding. "Beth go get your dad!" I turned back to where Beth was gone, Maggie was gone. It's like everyone else disappeared.
"Dad please! You have to be alright, I can't lose you too! I can't!" I was sobbing now. I laid my head on his chest; his heart beat was barely there.
"Carl, you'll be fine. If anyone can survive in this world it'll be you." I shook my head not wanting to believe this was real. He put his hand against the back of my head. "I love you Carl." His heart stopped beating and I was left by myself. I didn't know what else to do but sob into my father's corpse. I could hear someone in the distance calling my name. I didn't react I just cried, blubbering like a baby.
"Carl, wake up! Tell me what's wrong!"
I opened my eyes suddenly and kneeling in front of me, dripping wet in the rain was Maggie. I didn't know what to do but I launched myself at her hugging her as I cried into her shoulder.
"Shh, shh it's alright, everything's alright." She consoled quietly while rubbing my back. I wanted so much to just stay there like that for the entire night. But I knew we couldn't, reluctantly I pulled back and stood up as we walked back to the inside of the tower. I sat down against a wall and wiped my tears on my sleeve. Maggie sat down next to me. She put her arm around my shoulder and rubbed it soothingly. I'd calmed down some after a few minutes, I wiped the tears out of my eyes one more time before pulling my knees into my chest and resting my chin on them. I was really hoping that Maggie would see I was alright and just go away.
"Carl what's wrong?" Damn it.
"Nothing, I'm fine. It was just a dream." I tried, it was an obvious lie people don't have bad dreams and then spend the next five minutes bawling. I just wanted to be left alone.
"You don't really expect me to believe that do you? Carl tell me what's wrong, when I found you you were outside crying in your sleep." She looked down at me as she spoke, why couldn't she just go back to bed? I didn't want to talk to anyone about these dreams.
"Maggie why are you even out here?" I snapped at her, I didn't really mean to but I didn't know what else to do to make her leave. I regretted doing it as soon as I looked at her, she looked hurt.
"Daryl woke me up and asked me to come out here, he said you'd taken over the watch and hadn't come back, I think he's worried you were going to catch a cold from sitting in the rain." She chuckled at the last bit, the idea of tough guy Daryl being worried about me like a concerned parent.
"Well you can tell him that I'm fine. I'll come down in a little while." I said looking away from her. I knew she wouldn't accept that but I was too tired to come up with any good excuses.
"Carl can't you just tell me what's bothering you?" She moved to sit in front of me, trying to make me look at her I guess. I just looked down at my shoes and shook my head.
She sighed in annoyance, "If you don't tell me what you're so upset about I'll go wake up your daddy and tell him you were up hearing crying like a baby in your sleep." That got my attention, the last thing I needed was my dad finding out about this. I looked up at her.
"Fine, the truth is I've been having bad dreams." I looked down again, feeling a little ashamed that I was a thirteen year old boy in a world where the dead were rising, and I'd been reduced to tears by a few bad dreams.
"About what?" She asked, she reminded me of when I was little and I would have a nightmare so my mom would come into my room and comfort me. Thinking about my mom made me feel worse.
"My mom, my dad… and Dale." I finally admitted after a moment of hesitation.
"Dale?" Her previously concerned voice was replaced with curiosity. It made sense, no one other than my dad and I knew about Dale.
I swallowed hard as I prepared to speak, "Dale's death," my breath started to become shaky as I recalled the night he died, "Dale's death was my fault. I led that walker back to the farm."
"What do you mean you led it back to the farm?"
"I was in the marsh, and I saw that walker stuck in the mud. I started to throw rocks at it, after a minute I went closer so I could shoot it. But it broke free and knocked the gun out of my hand." I swallowed another lump down my throat, trying desperately not to cry. "I got scared and ran away without killing it. Then that night, it found Dale and…" I couldn't finish. I cursed myself, that had happened months ago and I still felt so guilty. I took a deep breath to try and settle down. Maggie looked really shocked and sad.
"Does anyone else know this?" She asked.
I nodded my head, "My dad, Shane did too before…." Maggie knew what had happened with him and I didn't feel like bringing it up. "Please don't tell the others. They'd all hate me and be mad at my dad for not telling them." I looked up from my knees and Maggie was moving closer to me and she embraced me.
"It's alright, I won't tell anyone. So what happens in the dreams?" She said as she started to rub my back again. I took a deep breath and started, "In the dreams Dale's a walker and he's attacking me but I can't bring myself to shoot him. He keeps getting closer and closer, and I don't know what to do. Right when he's about to bite me I always wake up." I pull away from Maggie and look at her. Her face is filled with understanding and sadness. She keeps one hand on my shoulder.
"Carl, I am so sorry." I nod in thanks not knowing what to say. "What about the dream about your daddy?" She asks, "I mean, I can probably guess about your mom." Maggie had been there when my mom died, she had performed the C-section. I nodded sadly. I took another deep breath.
"The dream about my dad takes place during the attack from the other day. You, Beth, and I are pinned down by that sniper, and I don't know where he is. And then the attack stops and I think that it's over. I see my dad coming towards us, I call out to him, and then the sniper shoots him and he's on the ground bleeding. I rush over to him and…" Maggie pulls me back into her and I start to cry again. Not as hard as before, not as many tears but I'm still crying like a baby. She runs her hand through my hair, trying to comfort me. "He wasn't there. I didn't know where he was Maggie, I didn't know if he was hurt or dead or what. But he wasn't nearby. We needed him and he wasn't there." I was practically sobbing again. That's what had bothered me the most, that day we had been attacked and my dad was off on his own acting crazy. Maggie sighed sadly.
"Carl you have to talk to your dad about this. If you were so scared by the attack and him not being there then you have to tell him."
I started shake my head, "No he's got too much on his mind to have to worry about me. I'll handle this, just please don't make me tell him." I pulled away from the hug and looked at her with pleading eyes. She sighs again, "I'm sorry Carl but Rick has to know, either you have to tell him or I do. He's your father he'll understand."
"No! You can't tell him! I can't put more pressure on him then there already is. I'll figure out how to get rid of these dreams. Just please don't tell him."
"What are you going to tell him when he notices that you're crying in your sleep? Or when he finds you awake at ungodly hours of the night? Carl he has to know! Now are you going to tell him or not?" She was shouting quietly at me, I don't think because she was mad so much as she was worried. I sighed irritated at her, "Maggie just keep it between us. I promise that as soon as everything between Woodbury and our group settles down I'll tell him. But until then just let me handle it." She shook her head and muttered something under her breath. "Fine. But if you need or want to talk about this again talk to me okay? We're family now, so I want you to be able to come to me with stuff like this." I nodded immediately, she was right, I should tell my dad, but right now I didn't want to worry him. So having her to talk to would be helpful. I wiped the tears from my eyes one last time.
"Alright, now go back to the cellblock and go to sleep." She said sternly. We both stood up and before I went down the steps I gave her one last hug. "Thank you." She smiled and hugged me back. "Don't worry about it."
When I got back to the cellblock Daryl was waiting for me. He asked me what had happened, I told him that everything was under control. Then I went back to my dad and mine's cell took off my hat, shoes, and shirt and went back to sleep.
And when I did I didn't have any nightmares.
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