Everything around her was dark. It was bland. It was empty. It was nothing.
Her wrists hurt from the handcuffs that cut into her skin for four days. Her back aches from being tossed around constantly. Her breasts hurt from being grabbed and burned so brutally. Her head was throbbing from the constant pain, relentless harassment, complete lack of food and water, and just about everything else that was going on.
She sat along, a single blanket around her shoulders, in the loneliness of the hospital room haunting her.
Nick said he would only be gone for a second. Just to make sure the rape kit was taken care of properly.
The images ran through her mind over and over again, endlessly taunting her. Lewis forcing vodka down her throat, watching her beg for her life, mocking her as she used the toilet after being deprived for over two days. He got into her head, he knew just what to do to make sure she never saw light again.
She was shaking. She only knew this because the plastic sheet covering the cheap hospital bed was crackling underneath her. She looked down at her scarred wrists, could barely see them straight. She crossed her arms and held them tightly to herself not only because of the low temperature in the room, but because she was absolutely terrified. She saw teardrops hit her medical gown that she was left in.
Where was Nick?
She finally heard a soft knock on the door and jumped to stand up, her breath catching in her throat, her mind going blank.
She was petrified.
The door cracked open and a sob escaped her throat when she heard that raspy voice.
"Liv?" He said quietly. His eyes softening when he saw her current state. He set down the bag he was holding and looked at her. Tears filled his eyes when he saw her, when he really looked at her. Bruises everywhere, cuts, tear stains, messy hair, her face filled with nothing but complete distraught. He took one look into her eyes and it was as if she was replaying her entire attack for him. He could see the exhaustion, the pain, the confusion, the terror. He could see everything that he did wrong. Every mistake that made his stomach drop.
And then she shocked him.
Olivia slowly moved towards him, breaking their eye contact and looking at the ground. Her arms moved from her side and, when she was close enough, one of her trembling hands grasped the material his shirt and the other slipped into the thin jacket he was wearing, wrapping around his back and pulling him close. She felt her cheek press against his chest, his warm hand holding her there. Before she even registered the touch, she was being held.
After countless hours of being tortured by a man who will haunt her forever, she was finally being held by somebody that she loves.
"It's okay, Olivia. It's over." He whispered, holding one hand to the back of her head and sliding the other one across her back, holding her tight. He felt her silent sobs. He heard her struggle to catch a breath.
"Shh, just breathe, baby. Just breathe." He said, rocking her incredibly gently.
They stood there in each other's embrace for what seemed like an eternity. Neither ever wanted to let go of each other again. Before long, he felt her shivering against him and he pulled away, just enough to meet her eyes again, which were staring blankly ahead of her.
"I brought you some clothes from my apartment. Do you want me to leave so you can get changed?" He asked, running his hands up and down her arms softly. He knew the question of being left alone sparked something in her. Her eyes shot up to meet his and glistened with tears. Olivia shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself.
"Okay, that's fine." He said quietly. "Cragen told me they took everything from you during the kit. You have a few pairs of clothes at my place. I brought you your underwear, a bra, some sweats, and that shirt of mine that you like to wear when you stay the night." He told her, kissing the top of her head. She nodded and her eyes fell to the ground again. He pulled out her clothes and she grabbed the underwear from the top of the pile. Wincing when she moved her, unbeknownst to the doctors, broken wrist wrong.
"Hey, hey, let me get this, okay?" He said, taking the piece of clothing from her and bending down, letting her step into the underwear without him seeing anything. He pulled them up for her and helped her with her sweats. He then grabbed her bra and saw the look of embarrassment on her face.
"You turn around and I will untie the gown for you." He told her, doing everything he could to make her more comfortable. She turned her back and reached up to move her hair out of the way.
He saw her hand shaking.
He knew things would never be the same.
He silently took her hand and put it back at her side, holding her hair and untying the string, letting the gown slip down over her shoulders. Olivia let it fall to the ground, relief flooding her when she felt his hands immediately working to cover her. He hooked her bra and she turned back around, a sob erupting from her throat when he gasped at seeing her burns. He pulled her into his arms, forgetting about the shirt, and held her, tears making themselves known down his cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Olivia. I swear to God I'll kill the bastard. I will kill him." He whispered harshly, holding her as close as he could. And then he heard it.
"I tried that already…" Olivia said so quietly, he thought he imagined it.
Even after all of this, she was still Olivia.
"I love you, Olivia. I love you so much." He said, a sob escaping his throat.
Olivia pulled away from him and, surprising both of them, kissed his lips. The kiss was soft and quick, but it was contact that they were both longing. Their foreheads rested against each other, tears streaming down Olivia's face. Brian helped her into his shirt and buttoned it for her.
"Let's get you out of here."
And with that, Brian began to lead Olivia out, smiling softly when she grabbed his hand and walked with him.
Maybe things would be okay.