Wow.

I'm writing these things so fast, like literally as fast as I shovel food into my mouth. It's kinda depressing though lol. Like for a while, although there's a happy ending. *everyone cheers*

Don't own FMA, because let's face it. No one would like the show if I did lolol

The team got into their places in the dark, Hawkeye checking to make sure not one strand of hair was in the wrong place. She saw to it that it was pitch black when they walked into the home, being as silent as mice when they walked through the hallway into the living room and behind the rather large couch in the room.

Everyone was there except Havoc, in fact even the elder Elric brother Edward was here, cramped in between Fuery and Breda. It took a lot of convincing to get him to come, even though under the lack of desire on his face to come with them on this oh-so important mission, everyone could tell Ed was secretly hiding the fact he did want to come. The boy's act of hiding his emotions wasn't the best trick in the book after all.

The mission, you ask?

It was pretty top secret. They didn't tell the Colonel, and would've told the Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc if he hadn't been sick the past few days. If they told the Colonel though it would've ruined it, and they would have had to call off the mission.

Throwing the Colonel a birthday party for his 30th birthday.

A surprise one, of course.

Probably one of the hardest things the Lieutenant had ever done also-leaving the Colonel out of the loop, keeping secrets, excluding him. She felt really bad about it, actually. Especially when he tried to start up a conversation with the group right when they were planning the party and everyone scurried off, worried they would ruin the surprise and let something slip out if they engaged in conversation with him.

The plan was to get him when he got home from work, but who knew when that would be. He often worked late, and got home at weird times. They didn't want to have to sit in those uncomfortable positions any longer than they needed to, even though the plan they thought of next wasn't exactly better either.

The new plan was to break into his apartment (as sneaky as that sounded), and hide until he got up. They knew he wasn't a morning person so they didn't arrive until about 9:30, having the workday off since it was a Saturday.

Fuery's head perked up suddenly, whispering in such a silent voice Hawkeye was sure she wouldn't have heard it if the house wasn't completely silent, "I think he's awake…"

They all listened intently, smiling softly and snickering when they heard a groan come from the bedroom down the hall. The silent snickering ended and they all paled suddenly when the Colonel's tired voice mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'Good Morning'.

Another groan occurred, and they all mentally facepalmed. They had no idea why they didn't think of this, why they didn't think that the Colonel might have had someone spend the night with him. He was notorious for being a womanizer after all, but at least Hawkeye could say she was impressed that he actually spent the whole night with someone rather than having intercourse and leaving.

Ed did facepalm, groaning in an awkward silence. "He has a fucking woman with him?!"

They all made the 'shh' face, putting their finger up to their lips and glared at him. Breda shrugged at Ed mumbled something incoherently, shifting silently on his knees.

"I'm going to make some breakfast. What do you want?"

Riza desperately was going through scenarios in her head now. They could pretend they weren't here, but honestly, how could you hide five people behind a couch for that long without the Colonel seeing?

She turned to her comrades, whispering in a rushed voice, "Ok, we'll still do it. It wouldn't hurt to meet the girl anyway, she might like to see who he works with. Wait until she comes out though, we can surprise them both."

After some hesitant nods from everybody, she settled back on her heels and looked over the couch cushions into the kitchen where she expected the Colonel to go to.

As if on cue, a shirtless Mustang walked into his kitchen; not wearing much besides dark blue jeans and a belt, his hair mussed up and getting messier as he scratched the back of his head- the dim light in the kitchen giving the team barely enough light to see him. His hand was brought up to his mouth as he yawned, stretching his muscles and allowing the team to see an elaborate display of the muscles in his back as he walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water; not even bothering to turn on the lights.

Rustling came from the hallway, and the team squinted their eyes in unison to try to see the girl their Colonel was supposively 'with'.

The first thing Riza though, was that the girl must've been tall. She was taller than Roy, and had short blonde hair. Must've been muscular, too… for in the short amount of light all the womanly features she could make out were gone, replaced by more masculine ones as the person stepped into their line of view.

She got more and more of an uneasy feeling as realization set into her features, realizing that the person kissing their Colonel's neck and putting arms around his bare waist was not a woman.

Before she could stop her team though, as they had not realized who the person was hugging the Colonel from behind, they stood up with lightning speed- a clap echoed in the room signaling Ed using his alchemy to turn on the lights.

"Surprise!"

They all shouted out, their happy faces shooting upwards from behind the couch and scaring the wits out of the men in the kitchen.

They weren't thinking though of the heart attack they gave the men though, even as Roy gasped and stumbled back into the man's arms and managing to knock them both down onto the hard floor, the team was wondering why in the hell Mustang was with a man.

"What the hell?!" Came the shout from Edward, his voice sounding slightly strained- and yep, he was blushing.

Mustang was laying on the floor, gasping in breaths of air on top of the still masked-faced blonde man. After he got his wits about him, he shot up straight; running into the living room where the confused team was.

"What the absolute fuck are you doing in my house?!" He shouted at them, glaring at them all and panting with vigor.

And for another surprise, the man stood up also, almost warily- looking as if he was deciding to sit up and face the people. After about a moment of sitting there, the team almost fainted to see that it was the face of the Second Lieutenant, Jean Havoc.

Oh my gaawwddd. This story wont be a long one. Maybe a threeshot, and the chapters will each be longer than this one.

Maybe you could look at this as a pre-chapter, just telling you all what the story's about… (…at least if you didn't read that summary…)

Pleaseeee review, and follow. I just love hearing from you all.