1945

"Come in, this is Captain Rogers, do you read me?"

I looked up, wide eyed, at the crackling of the radio. My feet carried me over in a rush, pushing in front of the soldier who was answering the call.

"Steve! Is that you, are you alright?"
"Peggy! Schmidt's dead."

"What about the plane?"

"That's a little bit tougher to explain."

"Uh... Give me your coordinates. We'll find you a safe landing site."

I signaled to the others working around me to start looking, and leaned forward in my seat, listening for Steve's response. The radio crackled again after a short pause.

"... There's not gonna be a safe landing. But I can try and force it down."

My heart stuttered at his words, panic shooting through me.

"I... I'll get Howard on the line; he'll know what to do-"

"There's not enough time. This things movin' too fast and it's heading for New York..."

I trembled, my hand stretched halfway to the phone, frozen. Steve made a small noise, and then spoke again.

"... I've gotta put her in the water."

"Please, don't do this, we- we have time, we can work it out."

My voice broke around the growing lump in my throat, and I squeezed my eyes shut against forming tears. This couldn't be happening. Not now, please, no. Not to Steve. Not Steve. Not when we'd just, we'd finally-

"Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are gonna die."

I shook my head at his words, not speaking... Knowing he was right. The radio was quiet, and I was about to speak again when he beat me to it.

"... Peggy... This is my choice."

I took a shuddering breath that choked off at the end, and looked down at my shaking hands, ignoring the stares I was probably getting. God, why now? Why at all? Steve didn't deserve this. He never did anything to deserve this. He was the best person I'd ever met, and that was saying a lot. And dammit, I loved him. And now he was... He was on a self-appointed kamikaze mission to end a war he had no place in from the start. He was going to save the world as we knew it. Just a kid from Brooklyn. Just a kid.

The radio came to life again, and I jumped a bit, before leaning in to listen. Steve spoke, his voice cracking the tiniest bit, betraying him. Showing his emotions.

"Peggy."

I sucked in a deep breath, before slowly letting it out, wiping my eyes.

"I'm here."

"... I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance."

I half laughed, the sound strange. Hollow in the now silent room. Sad.

"... Alright... A week, next Saturday. At the Stork Club."

"You got it."

My voice shook, although I tried not to let him hear me crying.

"Eight o'clock on the dot, don't you dare be late. Understood?"

He was quiet for a few seconds before responding.

"You know, I still don't know how to dance."

My eyes flickered to the radar in front of me, tracking the movement of his plane, wishing he was here with me. Pretending I was with him. And maybe, if I closed my eyes, I would be. But the worst part was knowing. Knowing that I could go back, knowing that I could save him, and knowing that... I wouldn't. That I couldn't ever do that. Because this stupid wonderful boy from Brooklyn was ending the war of all wars. And I couldn't take that away.

"... I'll show you how. Just... Just be there."

I let my tears fall, the emotions fill my voice. I couldn't hold myself together any longer. Steve answered quickly, his voice shaking, but firm. Putting on a brave face.

"We'll have the band play something slow. I'd hate to step on your-"

The radio burst into static, and my heart stopped, dropping into my stomach.

"Steve?... Steve?!"

My voice was frantic, my hands moving on their own accord to fiddle with the radio, all the while knowing. Knowing he was gone. I suddenly realized I could no longer see from the tears blurring my vision, and I hiccupped out a sob, slowly slumping in my seat, shaking.

"Steve..."

It was quiet, but for the static sounding from the abandoned radio, echoing throughout the control room. Eventually the sound of people returned, all a flurry. Chairs squeaking, voices everywhere. Tones of sadness, of rejoicing, of relief. They avoided me, letting me cry alone, letting me try to pull myself together. But I was unsuccessful.

I needed someone. Someone I trusted, someone who I cared for, who cared for me. Someone to let me cry, and to lie to me and tell me it was okay. I needed what I never let myself have, what I tried to stay away from. I needed Steve. I needed to see him, to hear his voice, to have him. To see that smirk, those blue eyes, to kiss him. Just once more... I needed Howard, although I doubt he'd know what to say. He'd probably try to make a joke and make everything worse, but... But that was Howard. I needed-

Footsteps. Suddenly becoming aware of footsteps coming towards me, I raised my head, and tried to wipe my eyes before a gentle hand caught my wrist. I looked up into a pair of sad green eyes, and then closed my own, looking away. An arm slid around me, urging me up slowly, and I automatically wrapped my arms around the man's long torso, pushing my face into his shoulder. He seemed surprised at first, but then his long arms gently wound around me, and I felt a few soft pats on my back.

"There, There, I know. I know."

He sounded so sad that I imagined he really did know how it felt. To lose someone. And know it had to happen. I pulled away from his arms, sniffling, wiping my eyes again, and he tugged his blazer back into place.

"Come along now, Em. Time to go. We've done good."

I looked up at him again, wincing at the cheeriness in his voice. But his face was still sad, haunted. He outstretched a hand to me, and after a minute's pause I took it, letting him lead me out. Past all the rushing and bustling, past all the voices. Past everything until we arrived in the air craft hanger and he escorted me across to one of the back corners. To that now so familiar blue police box that I'd come to know as a second home.

"Where to, Emmy? Would you like to visit Howard? Or just... another place? Another time?"

His voice was gentle, and I couldn't bear it. I could bear to see and hear him like this, so not himself. Just for me. I couldn't face going back and seeing Steve, not knowing that he would be gone. I wanted to see Howard but at the same time, I just... I just wanted...

"…I want to go home, Doctor."

He smiled that childish little smile, and opened the doors, ushering me in, following behind me.

"TARDIS, Sweet TARDIS."

He gave the wall a fond pat, and turned to me, rubbing his hands together... But then his enthusiasm slowly faded as he caught sight of my face, and his head dipped down, the smile gone. I walked to him, and reached up to straighten his bow tie gently.

"Please."

He nodded, before pressing a soft kiss to my forehead, the first time he's ever done it.

"I'm sorry, Margaret Carter. I'm so sorry."

Then he walked up to the main control board, and soon we were off.