Disclaimer: I hate you all, especially you damn heartless lawyers! I get no fun, no fun I tell you.

Summary: He was the No Life King, void of any emotion whatsoever. And yet he sits here before her grave, losing the grin he keeps in a jar under his bed. How... Ironic

Beta: We love MysticShadowWanderer for being our great beta reader and fixing up all my screw ups ne?

Umm and last this is supposedly a one shot but if I feel loved enough it may go onto becoming more...

Why does it hurt to see you fade?

I never thought much of you before this day.

The scene was still fresh in his mind, in all his life blood had never hurt him so much. Blood, his life source and here it was tearing him up. There was so much he felt was about to drown in the sickeningly sweet substance. The strong emotions surprised him, but only him, for he had kept up the mask with the disturbing grin. Even Integra herself mourned for the loss of their latest vampire edition. His own fledgling, a being he had created, had died and he was his normal self to the outside world.

FLASHBACK

"Master!" the young vampire screamed, and in the blink of an eye the foolish child flung herself in the path of the oncoming sword, a blow the noseferatu could take and yet she could not remember, her death was without a cause. She didn't scream as the sword pierced her heart, and he had been oddly proud of her for not showing her weakness. All seemed still as her body hit the floor with a thud. The team of Hellsing had stopped as where the ghouls and vampires of the other team had not recognized the importance of the fallen creature; needless to say more Hellsing bodies fell. Alucard became furious, and he had every right as his first fledgling was on the verge of death and slipping away quickly, and that was the only reason he had been upset. He would repeat this to himself on the days he could not gain sleep, caught up in his own world. She was only his first fledgling, she was only his first fledgling, she was only... and nothing more...

It would be only a matter of moments before her eyes became completely dull. She had thought the transformation from human to vampire was cold, she was always shivering. He had been tempted to say it was because she was dressed too skimpily, just to watch her squirm of course. But now as she went from undead to truly dead she would grow even colder. The blood that flowed through her veins without the heartbeat would stop completely. And there was nothing anyone could do to save her in the middle of battle.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a freak ran out and took Seras away, assumed to be dead. Alucard tried to fight the blood lust and rage, for he knew that if he went out of control he would kill all of Integra's men also. Unfortunately his attempts at calming himself were fruitless, and he blanked out; he wouldn't remember until much later the twinge of security that poked at the back of his mind right before he went out of control.

END

Later as he rose, bits and pieces of his blood lust came back to him as he awoke from his rage, but most of all that stuck to his mind was Seras' death and the torture he had given to the man who had personally taken part in killing Seras. He mourned on the inside, but on the outside he remained his same old self, the one with the disturbing grin and the cocky smile. He continued his life seemingly undisturbed by the tragedy. He bothered Integra and went on missions. And yet there was a fresh hole in his life, extra time in every night. In that time he mourned, he should not be so weak he scolded himself. He was the No Life King, void of any emotion whatsoever. And yet he sits here before her grave, losing the grin he keeps in a jar under his bed. How... Ironic.