I stared at the pregnancy test in my hands. Two lines hit me in the face each time I looked at it, no matter how many times I rubbed my eyes the results stayed the same. I was pregnant, with a comatose man's baby.

My initial reaction was shock, I couldn't move, or speak, or even breathe. It was like I was the one in a coma, not the baby's father. Then that realisation hit me, and hit me hard, no matter what way I looked at it, I was alone. I was sixteen years old and hadn't experienced the world yet, now I probably never would. That was when I sank down and curled up in a ball on the floor of the dorm bathroom and sobbed. I had ruined my entire life and any chance of finding a good job or making a future for myself, who would want to hire a teenager who couldn't keep her legs closed?

I thought then of the situation of my friends and of SEES, how could I tell them? I was supposed to be their leader and they would never let me fight knowing my 'condition', if they even acknowledge me now after this.

I stand shakily and my gaze flickers over to look at myself in the mirror, I look like a mess. My hair is falling out of my pins, I'm sickly pale and my eyes are red and puffy from crying. I splash water in my face and take a deep breath. I hide the test in the pocket of my blazer and walk out to the lounge and try to discretely make my way up the stairs. Too no avail.

"Yo Minako-chan!" I hear a male voice shout, I look over and I see my best friend Junpei Iori beckoning me over to the sofas at the other end of the room. I make my way over slowly, in no mood at all for one of his antics.

He smiles cheekily at me and says, "Dude, why were you so long in the bathroom? Did you run out of paper? Happens to me all the damn time, but I ain't ever going in there to save your ass, ever, not if you paid me or bought me deluxe ramen for the rest of my life!"

I whack him on the head with a nearby newspaper, "You talk big for a guy I had to rescue from a gang of third year boys after you 'accidently' spread a rumour that one of them was born a chick!"

"He looked like a girl!"

"That doesn't mean you spread rumours like that without knowing the details first!"

"Dude, I wasn't gonna ask him first, that's like asking to be killed."

I pinch the bridge of my nose and give an irritated sigh, "Whatever Jun, do what you want."

Junpei looks at me with a worried expression, " Hey, you ok there? You look kinda sick."

I try my best to smile, "I'm fine, I'm just a little tired, that's all." Junpei doesn't look convinced but, mercifully, drops the subject. He puts his feet up on the coffee table and turns the T.V on with the remote control. A news report on Apathy Syndrome comes onscreen, with a list of new victims. Junpei looks discouraged, " Damn it, the number of victims isn't going down, but at least there's only one shadow left, right?" He turns his head towards me and I give him a forced smile. I stretch my arms above my head and I feint a yawn, "You know I'm beat, I think I'm gonna hit the hay."

Junpei looks up at me and goes, "Oh ok, night man," and turns his head back to the T.V.

I trudge my way up the stairs to the girls floor and it isn't until I'm in the comfort of my own room that I let myself cry again. I curl up on my bed and let the misery wash over me.

What the hell am I going to do?

I cling to my pillow like a doll and bury my face in it. I go over the facts in my head.

It was September 25th when Shinji and I... were together and it was now October 29th, that means I am officially 1 month and 4 days pregnant. I ball my fists up. Why me? Why not some other irresponsible girl who does it with every guy they see. I was with the man I knew I loved more than anything, but I lost him and gained something I didn't want.

I rub my eyes. I have to see a doctor soon and discuss what I can do. A niggely voice in the back off my mind tells me,' It's obvious you can't handle this, just have an abortion.'

My eyes widen at the thought, abortion? Could I really do that? When I thought more off it, I started to feel sick to my stomach. I couldn't do it, not to a baby... Shinji's baby.

That was when I began to think of the thing that frightened me most, Shinji never being there. It was a bad situation, but I knew of Shinji was there with me, I could have felt braver and stronger, but he wasn't here. He was lying in a hospital bed in a death-like state. He would never know he had a child. He would miss out on so much, the birth, the first time the baby smiled, the first time it crawled and walked, its first word, Birthdays, Christmases, graduations... maybe a wedding and our childs own baby some day. I felt my tears pour down my face at each thing Shinji would miss if he never woke up. I wept for the fact that if I had it, the baby would never know its Dad. No Dad to hug them close, no Dad to give them comfort when they are hurt or sad, no Dad to teach them to ride a bike, or fish or maybe even whistle. No Dad to ask about girls, if they baby is a boy, or if it is a girl, no Dad to walk them down the aisle at their wedding.

Shinji wouldn't be a father to them, he would just be a sleeping man that is so close to them, yet so far.

I had no idea what to do, and I was far too afraid to talk to the others at the dorm, I wouldn't know how they would react. I took the pregnancy test from my pocket and looked at it again. Two lines stared back at me again for what seemed like the millionth time. I sighed and got up and hid the test in the cupboard under the sink. I would get rid of it later. I changed into my pyjamas and crawled back under the covers, I don't think sleep will come too easily for me tonight.