A/N the bits and pieces series is just scrap stories I never finished, and may or may not continue. Enjoy!
"Gus, I need your help."
"Not now, Shawn. I, unlike you, have work to do." Gus and Shawn were sitting in the Psych office.
"C'mon buddy, I just found my old bucket list from like 5 years ago!"
Gus slowly turned his head. "You have my attention."
"Ahem." Shawn began.
Number 1: Solve a crime with bubble wrap
"Wait. Solve a crime involving bubble wrap, or solve a crime by using bubble wrap?" Gus asked.
"Either, really." Shawn replied. He had intended on using the bubble wrap to solve a crime, but now that Gus mentioned it, both sounded like fun. "And how are you going to do that?" Gus asked
"Maybe solve a crime while wrapped in bubble wrap!" Shawn suggested. Gus sighed. "That is ridiculous, Shawn. Sometimes I wonder how you passed the First Grade."
Shawn clutched his fist over his heart. "Ouch Gus, you wound me."
"Just read the next one." Gus said.
Number 2: Swim with dolphins
"Check" Gus and Shawn harmonized, then fist-bumped. "Now that was fun." Gus said.
"I wonder how many things I'll be able to check off on this thing since five years have gone by." Shawn said.
"Well, considering the crazy things we've done in the past 5 years, I'd say a lot. But knowing you, and the crazy things you might have put on that list, well Shawn, I just don't know." Gus said.
Number 3: Watch Patrick Swayze in kick ass in Roadhouse while eating popcorn with Lady Gaga
"Why would you want to watch Roadhouse with Lady Gaga?" Gus asked.
"A kick-ass Patrick Swayze movie plus awesome pop-star plus popcorn equals happy Shawn!"
"Do not speak in the third person ever again." Gus gave Shawn the 'playa nod' "Read the next one"
Number 4: Go undercover as a clown
"Of all the things we have gone undercover as, I don't think we've ever been clowns."
"Stuntmen, psychic lecturers," Shawn started
"Crazy people in a mental hospital." Gus added.
"Ghostbusters!"
"Doctors, football players, models…"
"A planetarium worker," Shawn said "And I was a mummy"
"Shawn, I don't think that counts."
"I was married to Jules!" a grin spread across his face "and a sexy mailman, a vampire, super heroes, baseball mascots…"
"I feel so accomplished. But! None of those things were on the bucket list. Clown was."
"Oh well. Go to the next one."
Number 5: Grow a tomato tree
"Uh, Shawn?"
"Yeah?"
"Tomatoes don't grow on trees." Gus rolled his eyes.
"Oh." Shawn said "Are you sure?"
"Ya-huh"
Shawn slowly crossed number 5 off the list. Gus sighed and shook his head.
Number 6: Get lifted off the ground via balloons
"Via?" Gus asked.
"It's a nice word." Shawn replied.
"That's physically impossible. Hundreds of balloons can't even lift a 6-year-old off the ground." Gus said.
"How do you even know these things?" Shawn wondered.
"I know a lot of things. I watch the discovery channel." Gus bragged.
"Yeah? Name the original Golden Girls." Shawn said.
"Easy. Uh…" Gus got a confused look on his face, then acted as if his voice wasn't working: clutching his throat and making choking sounds.
"Drawing a blank?" Shawn smiled "AAAAnd Gus picks Center Square: Shawn Spencer! Thank you, Peter. The Golden Girls are : Estelle Getty, Bea Arthur, Betty White, and Rue McClanahan. Back to you, Pete." Shawn narrorates.
Gus scowled. "Shawn, this isn't Hollywood Squares, you aren't Paul Lynde, and he doesn't say "back to you"" Gus corrected.
"Aww buddy, have some imagination!" Shawn said. Gus closed his eyes tightly. "Wha, what are you doing. Gus are you constipated?"
"No Shawn, I do have an imagination. And in it, you are about to be hit by flying lava from a volcano right behind you." Gus said, keeping his eyes closed.
"Well watch out buddy, you're right here, the volcano's gonna get you too!"
"No it's not. I have an energy shield."
"An energy shield doesn't protect you from-"
"Yes it does, Shawn. "
"Where did you get it? They don't just appear out of nowhere!"
"I am Violet from the incredibles. No lava can touch me."
"Well, Gus, how selfish, the whole city is gonna perish from this volcano"
"No it won't. It will only hit you. It's a Shawn Volcano."
"If it's a Shawn Volcano, then it does what I say, and I say get Gus!"
Gus quickly shook his head and opened his eyes, fed up with this nonsense. "Shawn, I've had enough of your tomfoolery."
Shawn giggled "Tomfoolery."
Gus sighed. "What's the next one?"
Number 7: Master an evil laugh
"Your evil laugh needs some work." Gus said.
"Oh, and yours is so great." Shawn replied
"Muo-ho-ho-ho-hoo" Gus made a long face and held his hands out.
"No no no, it's Mua-ha-ha-ha-
"ho-ho-ho-ho"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha"
"Ho-ho-ho-"
"You sound like Santa Claus!"
"And you sound like the Wicked Witch of the West"
"No you're thinking of he-he-he-he"
"ho-ho-"
"ha-ha-ha"
"ho-ho-he-he"
"Now you sound like a monkey or an owl. Or a monkey-owl." Shawn said. "Whatever. I'm checking it off."
"No you are not!" Gus said "That was hardly a master laugh."
Shawn made a face. "Fine." But checked it off anyway.
A/N sorry it's so short. I have some more bucket list ideas but feel free to share yours with me! (I know it was horrible. I wrote it a while ago and I'm not too proud of it.) Thanks for reading!