Chapter 1: Alone Together
Dan carelessly rolled over in his bed, still awake due to another seemingly endless sleepless night.
This is the third time this week, the brown haired twenty five year old grimly reminded himself.
On instinct Dan extended his left hand towards his beside table and aimlessly poked around until he finally clasped his cellphone. As usual, the screen read No New Messages. Dan sighed and practically slammed his phone onto the bed out of frustration.
Whatever, he told himself. It's not like I have any friends anyway.
Sadly, that part was true. Dan spent his late teen years and most of his early adulthood obtaining a master's degree in law and criminal justice. His early years, the time where his life was supposed to be the richest, were some of the most painful memories imaginable. He spent his entire life striving for a degree he didn't even want! Sure, he did it to make his parents proud, but in the end Dan knew he wasn't happy with the way his life turned out.
"I could have been an actor," Dan whispered into the darkness, a single tear flowing down his pale cheek. "I could have done something meaningful with my life."
For the third time that week, Dan planted his face into his pillow and began to sob. He hated his stupid job and his stupid life. Dan had no friends, no boyfriend, and no future aspirations. He was being forced to play a part and live a life he couldn't believe was his own.
He called these unpleasant moments an existential crisis. Basically, it's a less severe form of a mental breakdown, but it has all the same traumatic effects. As a teenager, these existential crisis only happened once every two weeks or so, but now as an adult they happened nearly everyday.
Eventually, the brown haired boy cried himself to sleep during the late hours of 5 a.m.
~Page Break~
After taking a semi relaxing shower and getting himself dressed for the day, Dan pulled out his cellphone and dialed his younger brother's phone number.
"Hey bro," Dan started, a smile already creeping onto his lips. He hated almost everything in this world, but his little brother was one of the few exceptions. "I was wondering if you needed me to pick you up?"
"Pick me up?" Adrian repeated into the phone.
There was a moment of silence between the two lines. Suddenly Dan heard the younger boy's breath hitch and the sound of knocking.
"Where are you?" Dan questioned.
"I can't go today," Adrian replied, completely ignoring his older brother's question.
Dan stiffened and impatiently bit his bottom lip. "What do you mean you can't go today?"
"Well, Taylor and Stephanie took me out today, and we're currently up north right now."
"You're up north!" Dan shouted into the phone. He could practically hear Adrian flinch. "It's mum's birthday!"
"I know, I know!" Adrian yelled into the phone. "I'm sorry, Dan. Me and you can go see mum when I come back, I promise."
"I'm sure she'd want to see you today," Dan muttered bitterly.
"Dan, I'm really so-"
"Just forget it," Dan cut him off. "I've got to go. I want to see mum and dad before the morning rush in London kicks in."
And with that, the twenty five year old hung up, leaving a devastated younger version of himself alone on the other line.
Dan had no problem with Adrian's adoptive parents, Taylor and Stephanie. Really, he had nothing against them! He just thought it was rude and inconsiderate to plan a trip up north during their birth mother's actual birthday. He was even more upset that Adrian willingly went with them.
With one last final sigh, Dan threw his all black backpack over his shoulder and left his overly spacious home for the brutally cold streets of London. It was the middle of winter, and despite it being not nearly as cold as the rest of the world, Dan still thought the weather was unbearable. He was used to hot weather year round, not ice cold days!
He shuffled down the streets of London alone, his heart breaking each time he saw a little girl clinging to her father's hand or a happy couple strolling down the pavement. He wanted a child, a family, a real life. Deep down inside, Dan knew he wasn't designed to have such beautiful things. He wasn't the type of person meant to live a happy life, or even a good life for that matter.
The brown haired boy pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, not wanting to have another existential crisis in the middle of the street.
I'm almost there, he reminded himself.
Within five minutes the chocolate eyed boy was at his mother and father's resting place. They had died in a car crash over seven years ago when Dan was only eighteen and Adrian was eleven. At that time, Dan was unemployed and living at university. He couldn't financially support Adrian or give him a proper home, so he was taken away and placed into foster care. Dan never forgave himself for not dropping out of school and getting a job to support his younger brother.
He waddled over to his mother and father's graves, the cold winter air rough against his thin form. Dan was sickly pale from constantly staying inside and not eating.
"Hey mum, hey dad, it's been awhile," Dan spoke to the two tombstones which were set side by side. "Happy birthday mum. Adrian couldn't make it today, he's up north with Taylor and Stephanie, but he promised to visit as soon as he comes back."
Dan tossed his backpack down and sank onto the floor. From the pack he pulled out two cupcakes, two candles, two small boxes, and a candle lighter. He placed a cupcake on each tombstone and lite both candles.
"I know it's mum's birthday, but I didn't forget about you, dad. I wanted to make sure everyone was included."
He unwrapped both of the little boxes and pulled out matching Rosemary's. Dan dug a little hole next to both of the graves and buried the necklaces.
"I hope you like your presents," Dan whispered softly, desperately trying to hold back his tears. Like each year, he failed miserably. He sang the saddest version of Happy Birthday, unable to get through the whole song due to his voice constantly breaking.
"Last week, my boss gave me a promotion," he started. "Apparently I'm the top ranked lawyer in all of Europe. I really hope you guys are proud of me... I got my degree in law and criminal justice to make you guys happy. Now you're not even here to see it..."
Dan curled his knees up to his chest and started to cry. He threw away the best years of his life to make his parents happy, and they died before they ever got to see his success. Life was so unfair.
As he sobbed into his knees, he felt a large hand pat his shoulder. Dan whipped his head around so fast he nearly broke his neck.
"W-Who the hell are y-you?" Dan stuttered, wiping away his tears with the sleeves of his all black sweater.
The culprit was a tall black haired man who, instead of responding, stared back at Dan with intense icy blue eyes. He had cat whiskers on his cheeks and what appeared to be a cat nose as well.
"Who the hell are you?" Dan repeated, his voice still shaking.
"I'm Phil," the man answered simply.
"What are you doing here?" Dan continued.
"More like what are you doing here," Phil retorted.
"It's my mum's birthday," Dan said, pointing at the cupcakes and candles still on the tombstones.
"No, I mean why are you here in this world. It's obvious you're incredibly unhappy."
Dan did nothing but blankly stare at the sharp tongued stranger. Dan found himself asking the same question every night before he went to bed.
"I don't know," he mumbled.
"May I sit?" Phil asked, gesturing to the empty plot of space next to Dan. The chocolate eyed boy patted the seat next to him. He had never seen this Phil guy before, but everything about him felt so... Familiar. His voice, his looks, his lips...
"Who are you?" Dan asked once again, more politely this time.
Phil smiled and brushed a stray lock of hair behind Dan's ear. The younger boy couldn't help the deep red blush which quickly flamed across his cheeks. "You don't know me yet, but you will soon."
"You look familiar," Dan deadpanned, almost swatting Phil's hand away, but deciding against it. Even his touch felt familiar. "Are you sure we haven't met before?"
Phil's grin grew even wider. Dan was instantly captivated by his undying beauty. "I'm sure. Now tell me Dan, why do you think you're here?"
"I honestly don't know," Dan responded, all emotion leaving his voice. "When my parents were alive, I was a pretty joyful person. Ever since their death, I've realized how meaningless my life is. I have a job I despise, I haven't had a relationship in years, and my little brother lives with a brand new family who absolutely adore him."
At this point, Dan started to cry again. Looking back at the past few years of his life, Dan realized how empty they truly were. The situation was a lot worse than he had originally imagined. Phil gently stroked his back as Dan sobbed into his hands.
"Why don't you just kill yourself?" Phil asked.
"What?" Dan asked. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about it in the past. He just never had the courage to actually go through with it.
"I said," Phil began. "Why don't you kill yourself?"
The brown haired boy scoffed and looked up at the gray sky where he suspected an unforgiving god lived. "My life is shitty now, but after death there's nothing. I'm not ready to fade away just yet."
"What if I told you there was a light at the end of the tunnel? Something to look forward to?"
"Like what?" Dan pushed, now genuinely curious. Phil's tone sounded so cheerful and reassuring, it almost gave Dan hope. Almost.
"I'll show you," the blue eyed boy smiled. He reached into his own backpack and pulled out a colorful book. He placed it into Dan's hands, not saying anything in the process.
"The Amazing Book is Not on Fire," Dan read aloud. "Wait, why the hell are we on the cover?"
"Just flip through it," Phil suggested, his calm voice filling Dan's heart and urging him forward.
The brown haired boy did as he was told and flipped through the book. It was, well, it was amazing. The book was filled with things he always wanted to do like visit Japan, tell short stories, and him making his very own Youtube videos.
"Phil, how is this even real?" the chocolate eyed boy mused in disbelief.
"There's more," Phil answered. He reached into his backpack once more and pulled out a laptop. The pale boy quickly opened a file titled The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire. Dan and Phil watched various clips in silence, Dan crying the entire time. Was that really his life? In another world did he really do all of those incredible things?
"We went on tour?" Dan asked softly.
"We sure did," Phil reassured him.
"And we performed on stage together?"
"Of course, I remember the first time we ever performed. You talked about how it was a childhood dream come true."
"I always wanted to be an actor..." Dan trailed off. "Wait, if this life has already been lived, then how are you here?"
"It hasn't been lived already," Phil explained. "God, the universe, or whoever controls this massive world gave me all these things."
"H-How is that possible?" Dan whispered.
Phil pointed over his shoulder to a tombstone nestled in the back of the cemetery. Dan almost lost his mind when he read the words Philip Michael Lester.
"I died earlier this year," Phil continued. "And I've been waiting for you ever since."
"We're meant to be together?" Dan questioned. His mind was too overwhelmed to fully comprehend the situation at hand.
"Forever and always. Apparently in this other life, we live together, Dan. We're in love. Of course, when we cross over, things won't be all glitter and rainbows. If my future memories are correct, I won't meet you until you're eighteen. You'll spend those years of your life friendless and alone... Can you handle that?"
I'm already friendless and alone, Dan chided himself.
Dan tried to understand all the newly found information he was given. In another life, his future life, he spent every day making YouTube videos, doing things he loved, writing books, going on tour, finding love... It all sounded so perfect.
"I want that life, Phil," Dan breathed. "I just want to be happy."
"We can both be happy!" the blue eyed boy stood up and extended his hand to Dan. "Just come with me, please? Let's run away together!"
Dan smiled and took Phil's hand. Without hesitation, Phil pressed his lips against Dan's. The chocolate eyed boy did the same, allowing himself to finally enjoy life.
"Bye mum, by dad," Dan said for what would be the last time. "I love you guys and I'll see you soon. I don't know where I'm going, but I know it's a better place."
~Page Break~
"Phil!" Dan shouted from within their shared apartment. "Did you eat my cereal again!"
"I'm sorry!" Phil called from the lounge. "You know not to leave cereal within my grasp!"
Dan sighed and threw the empty box of Shreddies away. He stomped into the lounge and playfully punched Phil in the chest.
"Ow!" Phil complained. "I hate you!"
"No you don't," Dan retorted, kissing Phil's soft pink lips.
Phil blushed and pulled Dan down onto the sofa with him.
He's so perfect, Dan thought, wrapping his arms around Phil's slim waist.
"I love you so much," Dan whispered in between kisses.
"I love you too," Phil smiled. "Forever and always."
The end!
To anyone who wasn't prepared for the pheels, I'm terribly sorry. Sidenote, this song was written as I listened to "Alone Together," by Fall Out Boy (: If you haven't heard it already, I definitely recommend it.
For some reason this story just came to me, and I wrote it in under an hour, so I apologize if it's poorly written.Anyway, if you guys could drop a like, favorite this story, etc. it would mean the world to me! Also, if it's requested enough, I'll make a second chapter showing how Phil's life turned out without Dan or YouTube.
~Naya