A/N: this is utterly pointless, but it popped in my head and refused to pop back out. This is just Draco and Harry, no slash intended, and I suppose it's crack, too. I don't know, but I also used it to practice my Italian, because it's getting a little rusty after I stopped taking it. Please don't flame me! I'll probably take this down in a week or two when I become too embarrassed to leave it up.
Too Many Watermelons
Harry walked slowly down the busy streets, taking in all the sights and objects being sold. The interminable Italian chatter sounded in his ear and Harry basked in the pleasantness of the situation. However, he was torn from his peaceful state when he saw a familiar head of blonde hair. Curious, Harry made his way over to the fruit stand and started to smile when he heard the argument.
"No, I don't want any of your damn apples! No! Non buono! I want watermelon, for Merlin's sake!" (No! Not good!)
"Noi abbiamo le mele! Tu vuoi uno o due?" The elderly Italian man said this with a kind and patient smile on his face while holding out a shiny green apple. Draco Malfoy's handsome face was red and his long fingers were clenched into fists. "O tu non vuoi una mela verde? Tu preferisci una mela rossa?" (We have apples! You want one or two? Or you do not want a green apple? You prefer a red apple?)
"NO DAMN APPLES! I WANT WATERMELON, YOU STUPID, NEWT-BRAINED, WORTHLE-"
"Buon pomeriggio, signore. Credo questo uomo vuole l'anguria. Vi ringrazio molto." Harry watched as Draco jumped in surprise when he heard a voice over his shoulder. The raven steadfastly avoided eye contact and instead offered a kind smile to the man who was now nodding in understanding. (Good afternoon, sir. I believe this man wants the watermelon. Thank you very much.)
"Ah, si! Quanti?" (Ah, yes! How many?)
"How many watermelons do you want, Malfoy?" The blonde was quick to overcome his shock and sneered at Harry.
"How many do you think, Potty?"
Harry smirked to himself and nodded. "Well, give me some money then so that I can pay the man."
Draco frowned but did so. Harry's glee heightened when he saw the copious amounts of paper and coins the other man had. Turning back to the Italian man, Harry spoke.
"Lui vuole venti angurie, per favore." (He wants twenty watermelons, please.)
They spoke for a few more moments, with Harry asking Draco the occasional question or two, until finally Harry ended the conversation with a pleasant, "arrivederLa!" (Goodbye!)
The two Brits walked away from the stand and Harry turned to Draco. "Here you are: this is the change. The man will have someone bring your watermelons to your car."
Draco merely stuck his nose in the air and turned away. "Good. They should have been doing that from the start." Then it was quiet and Harry went to sneak away. "Wait- Potter, what do you mean by watermelons? As in plural?"
"You asked how many I thought you wanted, Malfoy." Harry shrugged, unashamed. Draco gaped before suddenly beginning to run, tripping over his feet in the process.
"How many did you order? Potter? POTTER!"
But Harry had left, leaving Draco to deal with insistent Italians and too many watermelons.