Something to Smile About
Hiyoshi left Atobe for Taki. He tried to look at the positives of the situations like how he wasn't tied down any longer and he was free. And yet, the sight of Taki holding his Wakashi-kun's hand left him all the more jaded. Not to mention he still hadn't recollected the numbers in his phonebook (though a part of him didn't really want to).
"Kunimitsu," Atobe gasped, clinging to the bed sheets.
Only weeks after his breakup and he and his best friend, Kunimitsu Tezuka were sleeping together. He knew it was wrong for numerous reasons. Tezuka had Echizen for one. But their fates seemed to be sealed when Tezuka had embraced him with the intention to comfort, and instead manage to push Atobe against the bed. Within moments their lips brushed against each other and a dormant spark ignited between them.
After that night, Tezuka, the only one Atobe trusted to comfort him, never called again.
Atobe knew he wasn't being like himself. He didn't need Oshitari to mention it to him and he damn sure didn't need Hiyoshi's worried glances in the hallways at school.
Summer ended and fall began only to find Atobe still in his abnormal state. On one noteworthy day however, when he was sitting on a bench feigning interest in a book and watching Jiroh Akutagawa sleep peacefully to his left, Atobe found his thoughts drifting towards, not Hiyoshi, but rather Kikumaru.
Is he happy now?
Atobe felt like a food. Kikumaru had loved him and yet he let that go. Back then he had concluded that Hiyoshi was more important and put stock in their love. So much for insight.
Atobe let out an indignant and melancholy huff.
"Ne, Atobe," Jiroh started, lifting his sleepy head and glancing up at his friend. "You know it's ok to talk about your problems sometimes."
Atobe looked down at Jiroh a little startled but quickly shook his head at the other boy's words. Last time he tried to talk he tried to talk he lost a friend in the process… 'Kunimitsu.' Atobe's body involuntarily shuddered. Normally the picture of poise and diginity he let his face fall into his hands while his elbows rested on his knees. 'Wakashi-kun…. Eiji--'
Atobe felt warm hands curl around his and pull them away from his face. Atobe looked at Jiroh who was now wide awake.
"Ne, Atobe," Jiroh again began but stopped as he notced Atobe's face ashen in fear. Jiroh hadn't meant Atobe any harm. He slipped a small strawberry candy into Atobe's hand and let out a small smile before lying back down.
Atobe observed the candy in his hand stunned before becoming shamefaced. For a moment he thought Jiroh was about to kiss him. He had enough of such "comforts". Kissing coupled with mindless fucking that was no means to comfort. Such "comforts" only lead to betrayal. He'd been betrayed by Hiyoshi and even Kunimitsu. He even betrayed himself.
Atobe unwrapped the candy slowly and daintily placed it in his mouth. He noticed the little pink paper in his hand and smiled at the charming design before turning his attention to the one who gave it to him. Jiroh was fast asleep so Atobe would have to wait to thank him. The candy really did make him feel happier in some strange way. In all of his trials, Atobe never once fell into tears and yet this act of kindness on Jiroh's part, and the sweet nectar of the strawberry confection almost did him in. He let out a broken and troubled sigh, but still no tears.
Autumn passed, winter came, and that meant a new year soon. Usually, he and Hiyoshi rand it in together with Tezuka and Echizen but he no longer spoke with anyone of those people. A lot had happened in the past year and Atobe resigned himself to bringing in the new year alone.
Oshitari on the other hand had different plans. He, Mukahi, Shishido, and Ohtori had the idea to spend the time together and managed to force Atobe along. They knew how off he'd been acting since his break up with Hiyoshi and couldn't care to see him welcome a new year sulking. They found themselves on the last train out to the beach that new years eve. Mukahi and the others chatted merrily about their resolutions and Atobe watched as the lights of Tokyo gradually faded into the distance. It wasn't Atobe's first train ride, but it also wasn't something he regularly indulged in. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the window and he couldn't help but notice how lonely the countryside looked at this hour.
When they got to the oceanfront they were able to run freely. It was an unusually warm December night and so they weren't the only ones to come up with the idea of a beach bum new year. The guys from Rokkaku Chuu were there too. They settled around a bon fire and sang songs until midnight and then rang in the new year with shouts and the kicking up of sand.
It was sometime during all of this; the discomfort of sand in his shoes and pants, the unbelievable annoying quality of Dabide's puns, and the sound of all of their voices coming together in a solemn song as their fire crackled and provided their only light on that secluded corner of the beach-- it was then and only then, that Atobe felt like he finally had a chance to be happy. He couldn't remember why he had been so sad in the first place when he had all of these smiling faces around him. It was the first sunrise of the new year and the boys all ran towards the beach to take it all in. Atobe followed with one hand holding Oshitari's and the other clasped around Ohtori's. He had lost his lovers and he had lost the one he considered his best friend, but in the end when standing on the beach with this group of 4 of his closest friends and the 7 regulars of the Rokakku team, his only regret was that Kabaji and Jirou hadn't come with them. His problems seemed frugal.
He had friends like these who were with him now and that was something to smile about.
The End