Mizu: Another crack fic straight from the minds of myself and my friend Kaze. Not much else to say. Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. I wish did but wishing doesn't grant anything unless you have a genie…Oh Aladdin~!

Story one: How to get Italy to fight…

"How the hell can I get that blasted Italy to fight!" Germany shouted as he stomped into his home, "He's always sleeping! He's always talking about pasta! He's constantly waving that stupid white flag of his! And he's always bothering me, keeping me from completing my work!"

Prussia looked up from his spot lying the couch, "Well, why don't you just use something to bait him into fighting?"

"Bait?" Germany blinked, stopping in the doorway.

"Yes~!" Prussia smirked, "Just use something that he will do anything for to get him to do whatever you want~!"

Germany just stared at his brother for a second, "You know, I think that that's the best advice you've ever given me…"

"Of course!" Prussia premed, "The awesome me gives nothing but the best advice~!"

"Wait, maybe that's just cause it's the only advice you've ever given me," Germany chuckled as he went off to his study to plan.

"Hey!" Prussia snapped.

"Doitsu!" Italy crying as he rushed up to his friend.

'Shit,' Germany sighed inside his head, 'I really wish Japan hadn't taught him those few Japanese words…'

"What is it now, Italy?" Germany sighed.

"Britain is being such a big meanie!" Italy cried, speaking far too fast for Germany to understand.

"What?" Germany asked, "Britain? He's here?"

"Si~!" Italy nodded furiously, "He and America are just on the other side of the hill!"

"Really?" Germany asked, trying to hide his smirk, "Hm…Maybe they're here to act on that threat they sent me."

"What threat?" Italy asked, cocking his head to the side.

"They said that they were going to take away all pasta and ban it from existence starting with your home," Germany said, trying desperately not to reveal his lie.

Italy stood there in shock for a moment. When Germany reached out to make sure that the idiot hadn't passed out (he couldn't tell cause the idiot never opened his eyes), Italy suddenly grabbed his white flag.

'Great…that didn't work at a-' Germany started to think.

Italy let out a loud battle cry before rushing back over the hill, "Die!"

England and America instantly froze as they watched the Italy come flying through the air. Like in one of America's action movies, everything seemed to be in slow motion. Germany had barely made it to the top of the hill when Italy brought the wooden pole of his flag down upon Britain's head. Watching in shock, he watched as the tear-stained faced Italian beat the crud out of a very puzzled British man before doing the same to a stunned American. As he watched, he did not notice Japan come up to his side.

"Doitsu, where is Itali-" Japan started to ask before his eyes settled on the enraged Italian at the foot of the hill, "Ah…So you finally figured out how to get him to fight."

Germany just nodded.

"Took you long enough," Japan said, smirking slightly before turning around and walking away.

"What are you talking about!" Britain's voice sounded, "I'm not banning pasta! Why would I do such a thing! If anything I would ban hamburgers!"

"What!" America snapped before getting whacked again, "How could you England!"

"It's not healthy for you, you annoying git!" Britain snapped.

"At least it tastes better than your crap!" America retorted.

"Silenzio!" Italy shrieked before attacking again, "You pasta hating bastards!...VE~!"

Germany chuckled as England and America's screams echoed through the area.

'Now to plan for him to go after the rest,' Germany thought, walking away from the scene, quite satisfied.

Mizu: Not gonna say anything else. Remember that I love all reviews and suggestions~! Ciao for now~!

England and America: Screw you, Mizu!