The Rookhouse

1990

It had been a little over seven months since her light had been put out, but Xenophilius Lovegood felt the pain of his wife's death every day since her death. He would never forget that day; the frantic call that had been made to the office, his hurried apparition home in which he had nearly spinched his eyes in his hurry, his eyebrows left behind, nor would he forget the sight of his home torn in half, one side completely imploded.

He had immediately shouted for his wife and daughter. Rescuers were sorting through the rubble and it wasn't until hours later they had finally uncovered the body of his wife. He had burst into wracking sobs that had not subsided until they had removed a section of wall that had landed at an angle.

Underneath the portion of wall, hiding in the recess on the underside of his wife's desk, his nine year old daughter Luna had been curled into herself. She was clutching a small, stuffed, white, silk rabbit doll that they had given her just that Easter because she had wanted it so very much. At first Xenophilius had feared his daughter had suffered the same fate as his wife, Luna had been so very still and her eyes had been wide, open, and unseeing.

But then she had blinked as a flashlight cut across her face and she had lifted her head asking, "Daddy?" in such a small, scared voice that his immediate relief that she was alive sent him spiraling into sobs of joy mixed with pain.

Seven months had passed since that time but each day he rolled over to see her empty spot in the bed next to him and his heart ached with the same emptiness. The dull ache in his heart was rarely filled, even with the new house they had moved to in Ottery St. Catchpole to escape the whispers and gossip that had plagued their old home. Luna had taken to the house immediately, calling it "The Rookhouse" since it resembled a wizard's chess castle piece. Xenophilius had to admit the house was rather cozy for the two of them, but he missed the home he had shared with her.

She had brought love and laughter into their life. The woman he had fallen in love with, and to his great fortune, she had returned his feeling, she was extremely clever, kind hearted and beautiful. He could see the same features starting to blossom in his daughter, everytime she laughed or smiled, or the way she would nibble on her thumb when thinking and excited about something. Those tell tale signs of his wife lived on in their child together.

As much as he loved his daughter, and as grateful he was that she was still alive, he missed her mother so much, it was affecting him in all manners. He was one of the junior editors at a publishing magazine and had been on the incline to senior editor. But lately he found himself staring at the copies put in front of him barely touching them to do more than spell check the articles. He would stare at the walls for hours, passing the day thinking of his wife, until it was time to go home. At home, he would feed Luna who was being watched after school by a kind neighbor, then force feed himself, tuck her into bed and go to bed himself whereupon he would dream of her, still alive and still experimenting. Sometimes the dreams turned into nightmares and he would find himself trying to stop her from mixing the experiment that had blown up their house and killed her. Not once, had he been successful.

He would wake up those mornings, compelled by the grief to sob into his pillow and pull the covers over his head to block out the world if he could. Eventually he'd emerge to join the world and take care of Luna, but the pattern recurred every few weeks becoming routine.

On this particular morning, when Xenophilius woke up he knew he'd have to get out of bed eventually to stir the coals in the grate. It was a chilly, dark, winter morning and thankfully he didn't have to go to work that day although he couldn't remember why exactly. Everyone had been so excited and jolly lately, that he had found himself becoming more unsociable whenever anyone popped their head into his office to give him a good morning greeting in those blasted cheerful voices.

Bah. Humbug.

Those thoughts sparked an emotion in him. It was a feeling like he had forgotten something but couldn't remember what it was. He searched his memory banks but could not even begin to figure it out so let the thought meader out of his brain as fast as it had occurred to him.

He pulled the covers over his head, curling inward and groaning, ready to spend the day just forgetting most everything including the fact that his wife's arms no longer snuggled around him lovingingly as she had each morning he woke since they said their "I do's." Later, he would get up to make Luna breakfast, something quick and easy which had been the extent of his cooking since she passed. She had always been the one to cook. She had done nearly everything and now it was up to him.

Luna, however, was not willing to let him sleep a few extra hours. Barely ten minutes later he became aware of a small breath that inhaled next to his ear. In his sleepy consciousness he realized it was odd for her to wake up before dawn. She wasn't a late sleeper, but she was by no means an early bird, up before the sun type of girl.

Just as he was about to open his eyes, he heard her whisper, "Daddy are you awake?" Her voice was extremely soft as if she worried about waking him up.

Xenophilius opened his eyelids to peer at his daughter. She was wearing a bright red nightgown with candy cane piping on the collar and cuffs. She had her white bunny doll tucked under one arm, the other hand lifted to her mouth as she chewed and worried on her thumbnail. He reached out to take her hand from her mouth, trying to break that habit before she became a real nailbiter. "Good morning munchkin," he told her around a voice still thick with sleep.

She flashed him a beautiful smile, so like his wife's, that his chest tightened painfully. "Morning Daddy." Now that he was awake, she climbed onto the bed and he scooted over to make room for her, lifting the covers so she could be beneath the comforter. He had given up his 'spot' which was warm from his body heat and the temperature on his wife's side of the bed, was cold, a dismal reminder of her absence.

He tucked the blankets about Luna before resting his head on the pillow. She turned towards him, her big grey eyes wide and unblinking as she'd been prone to do since being witness to what happened seven months before. He didn't ask her about it, but he knew she had been directly in the room when it had happened. He wanted to know what she had seen, but had been half afraid to probe into her memory of it. It had been traumatic enough for him, he couldn't begin to fathom what she felt.

He didn't speak. Neither did she at first. There had been mornings like this before when she would come in and join him, both of them napping until later in the morning together. He rather expected this to be another morning of the same when his daughter surprised him by asking, "Daddy?"

His eyes had been drifting shut when he heard her voice and he opened them again to regard Luna's deep gaze on him. "Yes Luna?"

She looked very serious as she asked, "Daddy, do you think Santa Clause is mad at us because Mommy wasn't here to put up the Christmas tree? He didn't come last night."

Xenophilius's eyes widened in shock. Was it Christmas Day? When had this happened?

As he was reeling from his daughter's question, the thought that he had forgotten something which was lingering in the back of his mind, came screaming to the forefront. His co-worker's overt cheerfulness, the vague recollection that they had put up festive decorations for the holiday, the day off today, as well as his very Scrooge-like responses were all clues he should have been aware of, but had totally missed in his grief.

They had always gone to select a tree together as a family, but his wife was the one who decorated it, getting him to pull the decorations from the attic and asking him to pick Luna up so she could place the star on top of the tallest peak. She would string popcorn and cranberries onto a string to place on the tree and he would dutifully always snitch a handful or more of popcorn. Luna had even begun to do the same the prior year.

But this year there had been no snitching of popcorn. The decorations had been lost in the explosion that had destroyed their old home and he had not replaced them. He had not done anything at all. There were no presents waiting from "Santa Clause" under the tree downstairs. There was no tree downstairs at all in their new home. The garland that had hung from the fireplace was non-existent and the mistletoe that always lingered over the doorway during their holiday season would never be hung.

Luna was looking at him expectantly for an answer and Xenophilius did not know what to say. His mind was still stuck thinking of the mistletoe that was not hung this year and before he could stop himself he blurted out, "Nargles!"

Luna blinked rapidly at the unfamiliar word he blurted out. "Nargles?" she repeated the word tilting her head on the pillow.

Now that he had pulled that word out of thin air, Xenophilius found himself remembering he had seen it on an edit copy of a proposed children's book. It was a creature lurked under small children's beds, stealing socks and slippers that had the misfortune to slide beneath in the dark.

"Yes," Xenophilius nodded to Luna, widening his eyes as he said, "Santa Clause did come last night munchkin but Nargles came in after him and they stole all the presents."

Luna's eyes were wide as saucers as he said this. "What are Nargles Daddy?" she asked.

Well now he had really put his foot into it hadn't he? Xenophilius tried to remember what the copy edit had said, but he hadn't paid too much attention to it. He had been distracted with thoughts of his wife. His wife, the one who would have never have forgotten Christmas as he had, and would have hung even a sprig of mistletoe as a sign of the festivities.

Seizing upon that thought though, he was in it for all or nothing and he said, "Nargles are terrible creatures that live in mistletoe Luna. They steal things like socks, slippers..anything really. They wait for the chance to steal it when you leave it behind."

He went on to describe the beasts, Luna's mouth parting slightly in fear at his description, her eyes enormous in her tiny face. When he was finished she had her white bunny tucked up under her chin, looking very scared but determinedly protective as she asked, "Daddy how do we make them go away? I don't want Nargles to steal Bunny away like they did our Christmas presents!"

What had he done? He didn't want to admit his shame at forgetting Christmas, but now he could see his lie had instilled a fear of the unknown Nargle into his daughter. His eyes cast about, seeking an answer even as his mind was warring with his guilt over adding another little white lie to the one he already told.

Just behind Luna on the night stand by his bed, he spied the empty butterbeer bottle he had before bed last night. It was empty, ready to be recycled into the trash along with the discarded cap.

His fingers acted of their own accord before he could figure out what he was doing. Xenophilius reached across Luna picking up the butterbeer cap saying, "This cap is what will keep you safe Luna. Nargles are terrified of butterbeer caps." He held it up in front of her.

Her eyes nearly went cross-eyed as she looked down her nose at the cap he was holding out. She kept her bunny tucked close to her chin as she reached out her free hand, with her small fingers to take the butterbeer cap from his fingers.

"This will keep them away?" she questioned in a quiet breathiness that suggested she was taking this all too seriously.

He worried about that for a moment but then nodded his head. "Yes." Mentally he could hear his wife scolding him for telling their daughter these tiny little lies. Surely she could forgive him eventually. He made a promise to himself that he would go out and buy a tree that afternoon along with making christmas gifts for his daughter.

He watched Luna curl her hand around the cap that she kept clutched in her hand. She looked relieved to have this object which would keep the offending creatures away from her stuffed bunny rabbit. Xenophilius was unable to keep from reaching out to ruffle her hair saying, "We'll go get a tree later and make our own presents Luna."

She nodded her head, a smile drifting onto her face. "Happy Christmas Daddy," she told him.

He chucked her under her chin causing her to giggle. "Happy Christmas Luna." His guilty conscious was quieting down and he was pretty sure that once he got the tree and the gifts done up, his beautiful but slightly fearful daughter would forget all about the Nargles who stole Christmas.

-HP-

Kat's Note:

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