Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, not me. The lyrics are from "Don't break my fall" by Oleander. This fic was partly inspired by Calendar's "Echoes" which is, among other things, a brilliant one-shot..

In this fic, Sasuke has already left and come back to Konoha from Sound, in the space of only one year which basically makes this AU. All three members of Team Seven are age 14 and a half for the purposes of this story.

Also, angst ahoy! Don't say I didn't warn you.

- DeB

--

What can I say?
When every word you won't believe anyway
No promise made
Just means there's nothing wrong today

…

My hands are tied
But I'm hanging on
I'm hanging in

Sure do like the sound of it

--

The male contingents of Team Seven were worried. Not that they showed this in an obvious, hand-wringing, what-the-hell-is-going-on-shouting type of way.

Naruto, for example, showed his worry in the way that his spaced-out pondering expression had transformed from a somewhat goofy grin into a decisive frown that made the whisker lines on his cheeks stand out more. Also, Iruka-sensei had recently discovered that Naruto would only ask for seconds of miso ramen on the nights he was treated to dinner, instead of his usual thirds. A drop of appetite for someone like Naruto was bound to be a bit disconcerting for those that knew him well.

Sasuke showed his worry the same way he showed every other emotion he'd ever had: that is, he sulked and brooded more then usual and tore up vast amounts of forest with potentially dangerous techniques that probably should have been supervised by more then just the disturbed squirrels and one grey-haired, sharingan-eyed jounin hiding in the trees.

Kakashi—as evidenced—showed his worry by hovering. He hovered over Sasuke while he vented his frustrations on the wildlife of Konoha, and Sasuke tolerated this because it was better then having ANBU hovering because of the strange chakra he was emitting. He hovered over Naruto while he trained and bought groceries and ran errands for Hokage-sama, and Naruto tolerated this because he really didn't notice.

But mostly, Kakashi hovered over Sakura.

Sakura, who had gone on her first solo C-level mission to a small village just outside of Iwagakure to pick up some medical supplies for Tsunade.

Sakura, who had come back to Konoha with a slight limp, one less kunai, and a tendency to stutter as much as Hyuuga Hinata.

Sakura, who refused to talk at all about the few days she was gone, except to say that she had completed the mission as asked.

Sakura, who now seemed unable to look her teammates or her sensei in the eyes.

Kakashi worried and hovered and debated going directly to Tsunade and asking her what the hell she'd done to his genin. He'd almost done it yesterday, after Sasuke had put out a hand to steady Sakura after she'd tripped on a root and she'd flinched. Flinched. From Sasuke.

His first thought had been that Sasuke's curse scar had acted up, even after all the complicated seals he and Tsunade had worked out, and he'd been scaring the shit out of Sakura by disregarding it again. But after an examination of Sasuke's response to the incident—he'd actually looked a bit hurt and definitely worried, not guilty and sulky as expected—Kakashi dismissed that idea.

Even Naruto had noticed that Sakura rarely touched any of them, even to give an exasperated punch or a well-deserved kick in the ass. The only time she'd voluntarily touched someone had been when she healed a long shallow cut across Kakashi's palm after Sasuke had got a good shot in, and even then Kakashi could feel her trembling the entire time she held his wrist.

At the time, he'd thought she was nervous about showing off her newly learned deep chakra healing skills to her sensei. Now he was not so sure.

Kakashi hovered as his three students made their way into the Ichiraku for lunch. As they approached the stand, two chuunin emerged from behind the curtain and stumbled out into the street. They were obviously drunk, despite the early hour of the day, and one of them whistled at Sakura as she approached.

"What a cutie," said one as he swayed and held onto his friend for support.

"Too small," sniffed the other. "I like'em with breasts, Yanno."

Naruto's fists clenched and Kakashi mentally counted down the seconds to the impending explosion.

"Bet she has reeeeeeal nice bresh—breasts, Mihao. Hey cutie, why don't you ditch those losers and come home wif—with us."

Three…two…one…

"LOSERS!" Naruto shrieked, trembling with rage. "I'LL SHOW YOU WHO THE LOSERS ARE YOU…YOU PERVERTS."

"Idiot," Sasuke drawled, looking bored as usual. "You're puncturing my eardrums. Be quieter."

"But Sasuke these guys insulted us. And they were hitting on Sakura-chan!"

"They're drunk."

"So!"

"So shut up and let's eat."

The three moved as if to go around the two chuunin, but a hand stopped their progress. The one who had whistled was no longer propped up on his teammate, but lurching slowly towards the group of gennin.

"Don' go," he slurred. "I wass't finished yet."

"Unless you share some traits with Fuzzy Eyebrows, you'd better get the hell out of my way," Naruto warned, sounding annoyed.

The chuunin blinked at that, but only focused his attention once more on Sakura, leering blurrily at her as he leaned over and made a weak grab at her hand.

"C'mon baby…let's have fun."

Kakashi waited for Sakura to take a furious swing at the face in front of her, but it never came. Instead, Sakura seemed to fold into herself. Her face paled and she took a shaky step back.

Sasuke's bored look sharpened into one of concern, and he was suddenly in front of Sakura bending the wrist that had grabbed for her backwards until an audible snap was heard. The chuunin gasped in pain and flew back into the arms of his companion.

"Leave," Sasuke said, his voice unbearably flat.

The non-injured (and probably slightly less drunk) chuunin looked like he wanted to argue, but by that time Kakashi had stopped lurking and started looming in a way that could only be described as frightening.

The two chuunin scrambled out of sight as fast as they could go while still leaning on each other.

"I'll have to remember to mention to Tsunade that some of her chuunins have obviously too much money and time on their hands if they can afford to get that drunk in the middle of the day," Kakashi said aloud, surprising everyone except Sasuke, who had spotted his teacher tailing them ever since they'd met up that morning for training.

"Hey, hey, Kakashi-sensei, are you here for ramen too?" Naruto asked, his previous indignant fury already forgotten. "Will you treat us? We've been practicing really hard today! Even Sasuke-bastard, but I practiced harder of course. He only beat me because I was distracted by that stupid squirrel…"

"Actually, I have to get home," Sakura blurted out, "I forgot that I was supposed to help my mom around the house today. I'll see you guys later, okay?"

And with that, she was off down the street, her open-toed boots raising clouds of dust behind her as she ran. Naruto looked confused for the space and three seconds, then he scowled.

"Those bastard perverts scared her off." He turned and pointed accusingly at Sasuke. "You obviously should have done more then break that one guy's hand."

"Stupid. She's been like that for a while now. It wasn't just those idiots that have her riled."

Naruto and Sasuke shared a look that Kakashi couldn't quite decipher.

"You're right. Ever since she came back from that mission in Rock Country…I wonder what happened."

"She hasn't told either of you?" Kakashi interrupted.

"Nope, not even when I pestered her. Or when Sasuke showed some interest. It was weird."

"She hasn't told Ino anything either," Sasuke volunteered, making both Kakashi and Naruto stare at him in surprise.

"What? She brings me lunches on Thursdays. She was worried about Sakura too. Apparently, we aren't the only ones who've noticed her strange behavior."

Kakashi nodded and said, "On second thought, I have to go talk to the Hokage about something. I'll take a rain check on dinner though."

He heard Naruto whine something about cheapskate sensei's who will do anything to avoid treating their students before using a jutsu to quicken his feet and lightly dashing away towards the Hokage's tower.

Something had happened on that mission to Sakura and he intended to find out what it was.

--

Sakura wandered by the bridge that led to the medical center, remembering the time she had met Lee there—pale and despondent on his crutches—and offered him the best flowers from Ino's shop. Then, she had caught him as he fell and slung a green-clad arm across her shoulders, bearing his weight easily.

Now the thought of having a heavy limb strung over her back made her shiver and feel slightly sick to her stomach.

Sakura wasn't stupid.

She knew that something was wrong with her, and that she really really needed to talk to someone about it.

She also knew that she was absolutely not going to talk to anyone, least of all the people she trusted most.

I should have said no when she asked me, Sakura thought. She could have said no. She could have said she wasn't ready, that she couldn't handle it, that Tsunade should find someone else…

But that was the problem. There was no one else. At least, no one that Sakura would have wanted to see go in her place.

She remembered the pink slash of Tsunade's mouth as she had handed over the scroll containing the mission details only six days ago.

--

"It's an A-class mission. Normally, I would give these things to ANBU to take care of, but no one currently on the squad can hold a genjutsu long enough to get close to this guy."

Sakura opened the scroll, staring at the picture stapled to the top and the information outlined below it.

"Tsutori Miyazaki, missing nin from Amegakure, specializes in waterjutsu and tachi weapons style…Miyazaki the serial killer?"

"Miyazaki the cannibal," Tsunade confirmed. "And child molester. The Kaminarikage has been trying to recapture this guy for months. Hunternins finally spotted him outside of Hidden Rock but it appears he's holed up in a virtual fortress with highly paid guards protecting him. None of the nins were able to break through the defensive shield to get to Miyazaki."

"What does this have to do with me?" Sakura asked, feeling a prickle of nervousness on the back of her neck.

"Konoha has been given a rather large commission to send an assassin to deal with Miyazaki. The man himself is not particularly strong, but the sheer mass of people he's bought off to work for him make infiltration difficult. I've already lost two spies to his guards."

Tsunade clasped her hands in front of her and stared hard at Sakura, almost daring her to comment. Sakura's hands tightened on the scroll she held and remained silent.

"That's why," Tsunade continued, "I though of a plan to get into Miyazaki's fortress. The three spies that made it back reported some of Miyazaki's activities to me. It seems that every third day Miyazaki purchases the services of a child prostitute. The arrangement is made through a well-hidden brothel in Iwagakure. A servant is sent to the brothel in order to choose a suitable girl for the night and payment is made on the spot. Typically, the prostitute is sent back the next day with the same servant as an escort, however the odd time the girl does not return. The spies think this means that Miyazaki has killed them, as a higher price is always listed for the next girl."

Sakura felt something cold wash over her. She swallowed thickly.

"You…you want me to pretend to be a prostitute in order to get close to Miyazaki."

Tsunade nodded. "You're young enough that you would appeal to someone like Miyazaki. And you know how to kill in a way that suggests a natural death. As long as the guards think that Miyazaki had a heart attack in a fit of…exuberance, you should be able to get away without having to fight them. I could send Yamanako-san or Ten-Ten, but neither of them have the subtlety necessary to leave the compound without a battle taking place."

Here, Tsunade paused for a minute, letting Sakura think about Ino and Ten-Ten in such a situation. She wondered why the Hokage hadn't mentioned Hinata as an option, for the gentle-fist technique could certainly be disguised as a natural death if necessary, but the Hyuuga clan would probably have a lot of things to say about Hinata taking on such a mission. There was no one who could say that Tsunade didn't know politics.

"Sakura," Tsunade said suddenly, interrupting her inner analyzing, "you don't have to do this. I cannot force you to take this mission. Your ranking suggests that this is too much to expect of you at this time. I would understand if you said no."

And Tsunade would understand. But she would do so in a way that let Sakura know that she was disappointed in her, that she wished that her apprentice could surpass her in the way that Jiraiya's apprentice had surpassed him, and the way Orochimaru's chosen vessel had surpassed him. In some ways, Sakura always knew that Tsunade felt she had drawn the short straw in making Sakura her apprentice. It seemed like no matter what she did Naruto and Sasuke would always be walking ahead of her in the distance.

And if she said no, would Tsunade then refuse the Kaminarikage's commission? Relations had been strained between the Hidden Village of Rain and the Hidden Village of Leaf ever since that incident in Tea Country. Would refusing such a mission push Konoha into war again?

No, Tsunade couldn't refuse the mission. Too much was at stake. And if Sakura refused that would make Ino the next best choice…

"I'll take the mission," Sakura heard herself say, as if from far away.

Tsunade looked pained for a split second before her professional "stone-face" snapped back into place.

"Good," she said. "Encode that scroll with a genjutsu so that you're the only one who can read it. You'll leave tomorrow with the owner of the brothel and a disguised chuunin as your escort. The owner's agreed to cooperate with us in exchange for a lighter jail sentence for human trafficking and the chuunin is there to watch him, so just concentrate on Miyazaki."

Sakura wondered, briefly, who the chuunin might be, but quickly decided that it would be no one she knew. Emotions and attachments might make this already dangerous assignment even more so.

"Be in this office by seven o'clock tomorrow," the Hokage continued, "so you can get into the proper disguise. Until then, tell no one of your mission and do whatever you need to do in order to prepare yourself."

Sakura nodded and rolled up the scroll bearing Miyazaki's smirking face before bowing quickly to the Hokage and leaving the room.

After she closed the door, she only made it a little ways down the hallway before hearing the telltale smash of glass and liquid hitting the wall, indicating that Tsunade had thrown her sake bottle.

--

Sakura sighed and tossed a small twig over the side of the bridge and into the river, watching it struggle against the current before sliding completely underneath the water.

'Prepare yourself,' Tsunade had said. And Sakura had known that Tsunade had been urging her to find some Konoha boy—perhaps Lee, perhaps Sasuke, perhaps even Naruto—and lose her cumbersome virginity before the next day. To save whatever illusions about 'first times' she'd ever had before they were destroyed.

She'd thought about it.

Her first kiss had already been gotten out of the way. Naruto had seen to that on the same night they had finally brought Sasuke back to Konoha and a bottle of sake, which had originally been applied to make sure that Sasuke didn't run away again, made sure of her second kiss just a few seconds after her first.

The headache the next day had been worth it, just to see Sasuke blush all the way through Kakashi-sensei's lecture on underage drinking.

But everything else…Sakura had wanted to keep her options open until she was absolutely sure what, or who, she wanted.

And then that plan was destroyed.

She could've said no. She could've…

There was no other option. She'd had to take the mission. And she had completed it well. She'd won.

So why did it feel so much like she'd lost instead?

Breaking from her trance, Sakura turned and began the long walk home. It wouldn't do for Naruto or Sasuke to catch her moping about after telling them she was going to help her mother. They were already suspecting that there was something she was keeping from them.

Under no circumstances were they to ever learn what she had done. What she had agreed to.

What she had become.

--

A/N: Well…that's certainly the beginning of something. Please tell me if you think I'm bordering on the clichéd or the angst is laid on too thick and such. I love constructive criticism. I am rather new to the Naruto fandom, so it always helps to be pointed in the right direction.