A/N: ok so this is my first ever full length fanfic. I will not promise a set update schedule because, as with all authors everywhere, real life sometimes intervenes with our hobbies and it does come first. Also, I accept all reviews, as long as they aren't rude or just plain hateful. Those I will delete if they're guest reviews. Non guest reviews I will attempt to reply to and if they are rude I will reply and then block you. This is fair warning that I don't deal with trolls. I will accept constructive critism, after all I'm just now learning how all this works and I'm using a cell phone to do it. Thanks for your understanding.

Now, disclaimers: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns it all, although I'd love for Jasper Hale to be real cause he's delish! Also if you're Team Edward, I'm warning you now I won't take you're anger or whatever over the way I treat him in this fic. It's fanfiction for a reason. I don't hate him, I just wanted to play around with him a little. ;)

Bella

I, Isabella Swan stood, frozen, unable to believe my eyes. There, in front of me, was Laurent! Eyes still red -indicating he was still killing humans- a gloating smirk on his face as he told me how he was helping Victoria, in her revenge plot. Victoria has apparently decided that the perfect means for her to avenge the death of James, is to kill me, instead of Edward or one of the ones who actually did the ripping to pieces and burning- Jasper, Alice or Emmett. A mate for a mate is what she's decided works best for her instead.

"After all that is only fair, Isabella. Edward took her mate from her, so she shall take his from him. She won't be happy until you are dead. However! I have decided that to kill you myself will be better, more generous you might say. After all, I will make it quick. Victoria, she will make it slow- most painful- she will take pleasure in that. After all, I have desired your blood since that day in the clearing. This will be a benefit to the both of us. I mean, you are going to die either way, won't it be better if I do it, instead of Victoria?"

My mind screams in protest, No! No I don't think it would be better, I don't wish to die at all! Run! My mind shouts at me, but I know that that is pointless. He would be upon me before I could even take a step to turn to run. I couldnever hope to out run a vampire. I'mgoing to die. There's no one that can save me from this inevitability. The Cullens are all gone.

They left after that disaster of a birthday party they threw me. 'Threw' was the correct word alright. Edward practically threw me into a table filled with crystal after I cut my finger on some paper wrapping a present. It bled only a little, a simple paper cut, but in a room full of vampires -especially an empathic one and one who desires my blood more than anything- that's not a good thing. I didn't blame Jasper. At all. It wasn't his fault after all. He felt his own hunger and then it was exacerbated by the hunger of the others, especially Edward's hunger. I was his singer after all, so his hunger would have been stronger than the others.

So as they all smelled my blood their hunger rose and Jasper took it all in, Edward heard his thoughts of possibly attacking me and shoved me hard into that table full of crystal, just making it worse. If it was anyone's fault, really, it was Edward's for over reacting. If there was one thing I wished I could have done, it was to tell Jasper I didn't blame him. I would never get that chance now. Now I was going to die.

My mind flashes to how I came to this point. After the party Edward started pulling away. I should have realized he never loved me to begin with. After all I wasn't as beautiful as he was, as sophisticated. We just weren't suited for each other. The deep depression I faced, when Edward told me that he didn't want me anymore, that he had grown bored with me and was leaving, taking the family with him. As if they never existed. Well he was wrong! They did exist and their leaving nearlydestroyed me!

I stopped doing anything more than going to school, work on the weekends at Newton's Sporting Goods, and home. I cooked Charlie dinner, barely ate myself, then went to my room for the rest of the night. Stopped hanging out with my school friends, pushed Jacob away as well. I couldn't stand to see the pity in their eyes. The hope in Jake's. It reminded me too much of what I had lost.

The nightmares came, terrible visions of the Cullens leaving me, that caused me to wake screaming. This went on for months until one day about mid January, Charlie confronted me telling me he felt it was best I go to Jacksonville, with Mom and Phil. Panicked at the thought of having to leave Forks I agreed to try to hang out with my friends again, except for Jake but Charlie didn't need to know that.

I called up Jessica Stanley and asked if she wanted to go to a movie in Port Angeles. I chose her because I knew she wouldn't ask about the Cullens, she would talk enough to keep me from having to. All I would have to do was nod at the appropriate moments. That was the night everything changed again, however.

We were walking back to Jess's car when I spotted a couple guys on motorcycles at a bar down the street. Thinking they looked familiar I started towards them, only to be shocked into immobility by Edwards 'voice' clear as day in my mind, reminding me of my promise to do nothing reckless. This would start a bout of recklessness just to keep hearing him. It also led me back to Jake.

He was sixteen now, I had missed his birthday when I pushed him away. I also met his two best friends, Embry Call and Quil Ateara V. We worked on fixing a couple junk bikes I picked up from the curb in front of the neighbors. This would be my salvation. Jake was like my own personal sun. He understood my likes, dislikes, when to not push me to answer questions that made me uncomfortable. It was a comfortable friendship that he hoped would blossom into more, I just couldn't do that to him though. I was broken, and that wouldn't be fair to Jake.

But as all good things sometimes do, this didn't last. A night at the movies ruined everything. It was to be a group outing but my friends Angie Webber and, her boyfriend, Eric Yorkie backed out last minute due to Angie getting sick with the stomach flu going around. Mike got sick with it at the theater- which for some reason made Jake incredibly angry- and, due to his abnormally high temperature I thought Jake had gotten sick as well, so I drove them home- in Jake's Rabbit. Mike would get his dad to pick his car up later.

I got sick the next day, but the day after I called and Jake told me to stay away until he called me. For a week now he has been 'unavailable' and I'm beginning to wonder if he is just avoiding me. I did tell him,after all, that I didn't feel for him the way he felt for me that night at the movies.

Now here I stand, in Edward's meadow, it's the beginning of March, shouldn't the flowers be getting ready to bloom? Instead everything is dead, brown and barren, like my life now that the Cullens are gone. I came here because, after losing Jake's companionship, I started having the nightmares again. I also stopped hearing Edward's 'voice' and that was unacceptable. I couldn't lose him! If I lost the sound of his 'voice', I would lose all of the Cullens. It would truly be as if none of them had ever existed. If I lost the ability to remember them, I might have lost myself. Lost the images of all of them in my mind. Now it seems none of that matters, I'm going to lose myself any way. To death.

An idea formed in my mind, why not see if Laurent would change me instead! I originally had hoped Edward would do it so we could spend eternity together. Obviously that wouldn't be happening, because he left me; and because, even if he returned I wouldn't want to be with him again. I had had the chance to realize that I didn't love him nearly as much as I thought I had. I only wished to keep his voice fresh in my mind so I could keep the other Cullens fresh in my mind. However, why couldn't I use it as a way to not die?!

"Why not change me? I mean it will keep me from Victoria, you'll get to taste my blood and I still get to live." Even though it was a long shot considering he was here, helping Victoria and still red eyed, I added. "I mean, you went to the Denali Coven, after all. You told Carlisle about James and Victoria to begin with. I heard from the Cullens that you and Irina are mates. Don't you think she'd be upset if you killed the mate of someone she considers a 'cousin'?" It was only a small lie, I no longer thought Edward and I were truly mates. Sure, it hurt when he left but I've been wondering for some time now if it wasn't more so because the Cullens had all left. There were also conversations I had had with Esme that made me feel that Edward and I weren't mates.

"Oh Isabella. How wrong you are. Irina is not my mate. Yes we enjoyed each others... company, but that was all. I never really wanted to learn the ways of the Cullens, drinking animal blood is most unnatural. I only said that and warned them about James and Victoria to separate myself from them and their certain demise. I'm only helping Victoria now so she'll leave me alone and not try to hunt me down after she kills you. Besides, in your newborn state you may decide I'm the enemy and try to kill me yourself. I can't have that. I also have no where to hide you for the three days it will take the transformation to be complete. No, better I kill you now and make it look as if an unfortunate encounter with the 'bear' they've been speaking of around town."

Yep, a long shot. One that didn't help me in the slightest. Still I had tried. He moved towards me then. Arm raised, teeth bared, his intention clear. I closed my eyes in anticipation of the feel of his teeth piercing my flesh- my mind thinking, surprisingly,of the loss of eventually being able to let Jasper know I didn't blame him for my party and them leaving me- when I hear him gasp. My eyes shoot open to see him standing there, frozen, a look of pure disbelief and terror on his face. His focus is behind me. I move to turn and see what on this earth could frighten a vampire, and see something that I would feel impossible, if not for the fact that I know vampires exist.

Standing in the trees are five HUGEwolves. I'm talking as big as horses,clearly not natural. They move out of the trees in a slight V pattern, stalking slowly toward me and the murderous vampire. The wolf at the head is a big, black furred, golden eyed monster- growling deep in it's throat. To it's right is a wolf only slightly smaller, brown fur with a mask of gray around it's eyes. Behind that one is the largest of the five- in both height and musculature - russet brown, dark eyes that look almost intelligent. To the left of the black one is a silver grey wolf, snarling loudly. It would be scary, if it didn't seem that it wasn't directed at me but at the vampire behind me.

Now that's interesting, I muse. Why would it seem as if they were focusing on only Laurent? Shouldn't they be focused on me as well, if they were hunting as it seemed they were? I push that trail of thought aside for now, after all I'm caught between two different predators at the moment and still unsure if I'm going to die at the hands, or claws, of one of them or not. Behind the snarling silver wolf is another grey one, distinguishable only by the black spots all over it's fur. They're all hugely muscled, everything about them is just plain...huge. They're also not looking at me- just as I thought - they're looking past me, to Laurent.

The next thing I know Laurent has spun around and begun to run at vampire speed away from me and the danger these wolves seem to pose to him. With a deep rumbling bark the black wolf charges past me, not even glancing my way, and chases after the fleeing vampire. The russet wolf pauses next to me, eyeing me just for a second making me wonder if it was going to kill me, before following the others.

If that wasn't enough, as I watch the wolves a figure I didn't notice before comes out of the trees off to my left. Shoulder length, honey blonde hair blowing in the slight breeze. I can see he has on what appears to be a black leather jacket over a white t-shirt and faded blue jeans, hiking boots on his feet. I know when he approaches I'll be able to see how pale he is, the sparkling of his skin where the sun hits it, and the gold of his eyes. I know without a doubt I'm looking, at Jasper Hale.

Jasper

I watched Bella and Laurent from the trees. I had hoped not to have to reveal myself, or the pack to her just yet. Unfortunately this changed every thing. I couldn't allow him to kill her. Not when my future depended on her living. Not when it would kill me too. I could feel the pack's anticipation. They're probably extremely excited to finally do what they're supposed to get to do. All young men chomping at the bit. I remember what it was like to be young and reckless, before that Mexican bitch stole my life from me and forced me to grow up, too much, too soon.

I refocus on the scene in front of me. Bella is frozen, not moving an inch, as if she thinks moving might provoke Laurent to attack her sooner. I can just make out what she's saying. Asking Laurent to change her. I could have told her his answer. As a nomad he wouldn't want the responsibility of keeping a newborn in check. He couldn't just abandon her, like Alice's creator did, because he would face the Volturi's wrath and Laurent is a coward at heart.

I could feel the underlying fear in our brief encounter with him all those months ago and now, he still has a slight fear under all the other emotions he's feeling. The thirst, the smugness. He thinks he can get away with killing her and Victoria will just leave him alone but what he hasn't realized yet is that Victoria would hunt him down for stealing her revenge. I've encountered too many vampires like her to think she'd do anything different.

I shift my eyes to the right of my position in the trees, I can just make out the pack. They're so well hidden even my eyesight has trouble picking them apart from the trees and ground foliage they're hiding in. I can feel their irritation, their desire to get this over with. Shifting back to Laurent and Bella I see the talking is done. She's run out of stall tactics and he's closing in for the kill. I can feel resignation and fear coming from her, as well as a deep sorrow, for Edward most likely. Giving the signal I watch as the pack moves out of the trees. Feel and see the moment Laurent realizes what he's facing. I guess Victoria didn't warn him about the vampire killing wolf pack in the vicinity. Too bad for him.

His gasp gets Bella's attention and I watch as she turns and sees the pack. I expected a feeling of extreme fear coming from her, but she surprises me, instead I feel the same amount of fear as when she was facing Laurent as well as confusion and curiosity. The confusion I can understand, the curiosity however, confuses me. Why would she be curious? I'll have to ask her later.

I watch as Laurent turns to run, Sam barking out the signal to give chase. The rest of the pack follow while Jake pauses next to Bella. I can feel hope at first but then he starts feeling an immense sadness followed by a resigned acceptance. If I didn't already know he hoped that Bella would one day feel the same towards him as he feels towards her, I would wonder what that was about, but as I know he has a crush on her, at least up to this moment. I know he was hoping for the imprint to happen. I'm not sure if it will work while he's in wolf form, but obviously he thought it might and has realized she isn't meant for him. I could have told him that. She's meant for me, after all, if Alice's note and what I've been feeling the last five months is to be believed.

He finally follows the others a moment later and she turns and watches. I step out of the trees and watch as she notices me. I can see and feel the shock coming from her, as well as a feeling I don't think she realizes she's feeling, joy. Joy to see me for myself or because I'm a Cullen though? That's the question. I flit to her quickly, I needto touch her, and to get her out of here just in case Victoria has returned from the last time we drove her off. I just hope that she doesn't fight me. I did try to kill her the last time we saw each other after all.

I know it wasn't my fault, now, but I hated myself for a couple days after the party. I hated I couldn't control myself. It was only after I went off on my own and actually thought about it that I realized I wasn't totally at fault, that feeling the others thirst on top of my own is what made me lose control. I just hope Bella can forgive me for it. I guess we'll find out. Facing her now I can see she hasn't changed much, her face a little gaunt and she's a little skinnier but she's still beautiful. Still worth it. How did I get lucky enough for her to actually be my mate, and not Edward's? I can see the confusion and shock on her face and know I need to get her out of here. I'm about to break the silence, when she beats me to it...