At the End, a detective conan/case closed fanfic

AT THE END

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. (But I wish...)

AN: Boredom strikes again. Just thought of this thing while lying down so sorry if it is so…I dunno. ^_^

AT THE END

(Because at the end, a promise is a promise, right?)

How long it has been? Weeks, moths, years. I don't know. Seasons come and go yet you still stay the same. Away and unreachable. You never show up in important occasions, you do not even come home. If you ever did, it was just temporary. You are here today and the next time you are gone. Do you even care about anything other than your cases? Do you even care about me, about us, about the people you left? Maybe not because if you do, you would be home by now. I wonder what is keeping you away. Is it really just a case? Or something more than that? You know what; sometimes I want to give up on you, on us, on your so-called promise of return. Because it's not leading me anywhere, it just leads me to nothing but misery and pain. But a promise is a promise, right? You'll come home and everything would be normal again. For you will do your promise, won't you?

But would you really do?

'Sigh' I look at the clock and notice that it was already eight. It was eight in the evening and yet I haven't eaten a single thing yet. I wonder have you eaten or are you still busy with your cases? Maybe the latter. Maybe you are still busy with your cases. Oh, speaking of cases, my Dad got a new one, a very big one in fact. Many are involved, FBI, CIA, police and many others. Are you also involved? Maybe but I hope not because the case is just too dangerous.

Then my phone vibrated.

I looked and saw your name on the screen; you just text. Wow! How long has it been? How long has it since the last time you text or called? How long has it been since the last time you tried to communicate? I tried to think but told myself to stop. I should stop calculating since I know I would not like the answer. Because in reality, it has been long. Shaking my head, I decided to just focus and read your text. I wonder what your message would be.

'Meet me at the park at nine o'clock'

Just that, your message just said that. It just said those eight words. You know what, it is so funny how you could be so demanding. Why? When I am the one who asks you to come home, you always say no. But why, when it's you, even just a single word I do it without hesitation. I just do, I just follow without asking questions; I am simply obedient. What is in you? Or maybe what is in me? Am I really that desperate to see you, to talk to you, to touch you? Maybe yes because you are like my drug, my heroine but that does not mean I like it. So I decided not to show up because maybe if I don't you will realize my importance. Maybe if I don't show up, you'll experience the things that happened to me. And maybe if I not show up, you will understand my pain and come home permanently.

But my heart betrayed my mind.

I look at the clock to check the time at the second time. It says eight thirty. So thirty minutes has passed since I received your text, huh? It is really amazing how time fly so fast. Hmm, I wonder, would I really not show up? Or should I just give in and go? I don't know and I am confused on which to follow. My brain orders me to endure the longing of seeing you and just not show up. It tells me to have revenge, to let you feel the pain. But my heart says another thing. It tells me to go, to follow what I feel, what if feels. It tells me to go and see you again for you don't usually come home. After all, I rarely see you and it does not want to miss the chance given. For opportunity knocks once, right? So which would I follow? Would I meet you or not? Which is right, my brain or my heart?

And I followed the latter.

I do not know what happened but I just realized that I am now walking going to the park, going to you. My feet just unconsciously led my body to the place where you asked me to go, to our rendezvous. My feet are just leading me towards you. For my brain lost and my heart prevailed. Or is it just a tie? After all the one commanding my heart is my brain, right? Or so you said? Really, it looks like my life just revolves around you. So now, I am going to the park and just in few more minutes, I will be seeing your face again.

So I let it slide.

I finally reached the park. It's empty, no kids playing, no families bonding, no one but me and probably you. I look at the clock and check if I am on time or not. It says eight forty-five. And I let the breath I did not realize that I was holding up go. So I am not late, in fact I am fifteen minutes early. Well, it makes sense since our house is just fifteen minutes away. I look around hoping to see your face. Are you here already? Or you are going to be late again just like the usual? Are you again trapped in one of the cases you amazingly stumbled upon on your way here? I wonder, I wonder.

Then a sound came.

I look back towards the sound, searching where it came from. Then I saw you smiling at me happily yet you could see sadness with it. I look at you from head to toe noting some changes that you have experienced since the last time we saw each other. You are still the same, unchanged. You are the same; the same hair, the same face, the same in almost everything. You are the same guy who makes fall in-love in him all over and all over again. And the same guy who repeatedly breaks my heart. And I decided to call your name.

"Shinichi"

You waved weakly and started walking with the same smile of yours. Now that I have noticed, you looked pale; you are so white that I don't know. But I shrugged it off. I should not be thinking about those things instead I should enjoy the moment. So I looked up and got lost in your mesmerizing blue eyes. You walked going to me while I am frozen in place. It was as if, I was glued there. I could not move, I could not get-away. I could not do anything but stare.

And you continued walking.

You are here standing 40 centimeters away from me. You are standing so close. You are so close that I could feel your every breath; I could even smell the strong perfume you always wear. We are so close, you are so close to me but why do I feel that you are still far, that you are still out of my reach. Why?

And the wind blew its cold breeze.

Did you feel it, the sweet breeze that just blew? It started to go colder as the night goes older. I am shaking in cold yet you act like you feel nothing at all. Then you touched my hair and I jerked. You were shocked and immediately get off. Why did I jerk from your touch? Was it because your touch was so cold? I don't know but I should not jerk for this is what I want, right? But I can't help but feel something is wrong. That something is amiss. Then you called my name.

"Ran"

You said my name so sweetly that I could not help but crave for it. Say it again. Please, say it again because I really like the feeling. And I miss it. I miss your voice; I miss the way you call out my name; I miss the way you laugh and your teases. I miss everything about you. I miss you and I want you back. So I said those two words hoping you'll comply.

"Come home"

There I said it for I could not take it anymore. I want you. I need you. I love you. So I look in your eyes pleading, crying, asking you to stay. Please have mercy, please just come home. Please don't leave again. If your case is so hard then give up. Maybe it is just out of your league so please don't force yourself. Just go home to us, to me. Please. Don't worry so many cases would come so just let this thing pass. Let things go back to normal, let us be normal again.

But you just smiled sadly again.

Stop giving that smile. I don't like seeing it. I don't like the vibes that smile is giving off. Why could you just smile normally, just smile happily. Please anything but that kind of smile. It is scaring me; you could smirk cockily if you want. You could even smile teasingly like those times before. Just please anything but that smile. I don't like feeling when I see that smile. It is as if telling me that something bad will happen or something bad has happened. So please stop, please. And you indeed stop but the two words that followed left me confuse.

"I'm sorry"

I'm sorry for what? I'm sorry for leaving you all those times before? Or I'm sorry for I will be leaving you again? Or I'm sorry for I am not coming back? What is that sorry for? Tell me. Please stop being so vague. Stop leaving me in the air. I deserved to know the truth. So tell me. Tell me what that sorry meant. Say something. But you kept your silence.

The clock strikes nine and everything went black.

A hand shook me, prompting me to wake up. I could hear a voice calling me out. Who is it? Is it you? No, I think not. Your voice is not like that and your hand, it's lighter, not like this. Why did I feel asleep anyways? No, asleep is not the right term, it should be unconscious. So why did I became unconscious? And would that hand stop shaking me. So I look up and saw something I did not expect.

It was my dad.

Why is he here? Did you call him? Or did he just come on his own free will. And why does he look worried? What is happening? And where are you anyways? I look around but I did not see you, not a single trace of you. So you left, huh? So this is what your 'sorry' meant a while ago. You meant sorry for leaving you again like I always do. And that I'm sorry for not coming back. Darn it! I should know. I should have expected. I should not let my hopes up. I should get used to this thing but why does it feel so painful? I should be immune to this right?

"Are you okay"

My father's voice startled me and brought me back to reality. He is asking me if I am okay. Of course, I'm okay. Why would I not be? I wanted to tell him that. But who would I be fooling? Him? You? Or myself? For I am not okay. I may be okay physically but emotionally, I am in turmoil. My heart is silently breaking to pieces thanks to you. But where are you now? You are not even here to fix it. You are gone in your stupid case again. And- Oh I have not answered father's question yet. But instead of answering it, I replied with a question.

"Where is he?"

I asked my father but he gave me a sad look in reply. Why is he giving me a sad look, that the same look that you have given me a while ago? Why is everyone sad? Tell me why? What is happening? My father called my name but I did not care. Instead, tears cascade down my cheeks. You always know how to make me cry even without being present, don't you? Please would someone tell me the answer? I want to know why he gave me that look when I asked about you. And he answered and I wish I did not ask.

"He's gone"

What? What does he mean by that? You are gone? But why? Gone to where? Really, I am getting confused now. Would someone please enlighten me?

"What do you mean?"

I asked my father. I need to know what he meant, what he meant when he said you are gone. I need to know? I need to put me feelings at ease. I need to calm my throbbing heart. I do not like the feeling. I really don't.

"He was shot and was at coma. And just last nine o'clock in the evening his body gave up. He's dead. He is not coming back."

'He's dead. He is not coming back.'

Those words replayed in my mind like a broken radio. I could not believe it because you were here with me a while ago. You could not have been shot and be in coma. You were here. You were here; you were holding my hand and talking to me. This is just a bad joke that they are playing on me, right? For you could not be dead. I saw you, I heard you, I felt your touch, I felt our presence, I felt your breath and I smelled your perfume. You were here, you are not dead. You can't be dead.

I look up at my father's face to see and search for a sign that would tell me that he is just joking. I searched and searched but sadly, they were none. And I continue to cry.

"I'm sorry"

My father said it. And memories came flashing back. Those sad smiles, that miserable look, you being so pale, that cold touch and the apology, everything makes sense. Now I know why you said that. Now I know why you said you were sorry. You wanted to apologize because you know you are not coming back. You know you were going to die. You said sorry because you will be leaving me forever. You came back one last time to see me. Just like what you said before.

'I'll come back even if I die. So wait for me'

Because at the end, a promise is a promise, right Shinichi?

AN: Sorry if I made Ran sort of OC. I was hungry while writing this so I could not think straight. So yeah. Also, sorry if I killed him again. I don't know. I just like tragic stories.

Anyways, thanks for reading^_^

Reviews are greatly appreciated.