In case there are any avian enthusiasts who read this, I do realize that scarlet macaws don't have quite the vocal prowess of, say, an African gray or an Amazon, so I don't know how accurate this is, but I just really wanted him to have a scarlet macaw, so just go with it :)
[Edit] Just did some minor format editing (had to add the page breaks), story hasn't changed at all.
"Isn't he beautiful?" Kurt gushed, as Blaine gawked at the new addition to Kurt's bedroom. He had had to push his bed against the wall and move his wardrobe to make room for the four foot wide birdcage, but it was totally worth it. The full-grown scarlet macaw stopped preening his long, multicoloured feathers and cocked his head at the strange, curly-haired boy.
"He kind of scares me," Blaine whispered. He jumped as the bird let out a loud squawk, and Kurt giggled.
"He's not scary." Kurt reached out and twirled the lock on the cage door, flicking it open.
"What are you doing?" Blaine backed away slowly as Kurt removed the lock and opened the door. He admitted that the bird was nice to look at, but he thought it should stay safely locked up.
"I'm introducing you to Liberace." Kurt carefully reached his arm in the cage, Blaine nearly had a heart attack when the bird jerked his head toward it, and calmly held it in front of the bird's chest.
"Are you crazy? Have you seen the ginormous beak on his face? And those freaking talons? He could rip you to shreds!"
"Don't be silly, Blaine. Liberace is perfectly friendly." After a moment's hesitation, as if to make it known that Liberace was only doing it because he wanted to, the bird stepped on to Kurt's arm, and he pulled him out of the cage. "Come here," Kurt demanded, grabbing Blaine's hand and bringing it up towards the bird. Liberace thrust his head towards their hands and Blaine tried to jerk away, but Kurt's grip held him firm. Pulling his head back, the macaw fluttered his wings and readjusted his position on Kurt's arm. "You can't pull away when he does that, it just encourages biting." He moved Blaine's hand to the yellow feathers midway down the bird's wing, showing him how to stroke softly with the backs of his fingers.
"He is kinda pretty," Blaine acknowledged.
"Kinda pretty?" Kurt scoffed. "He's fabulous."
"Just like you," Blaine teased. "I guess that explains why you wanted him. Can he talk?"
"He can, but he's still getting used to his new home," Kurt explained. "If you repeat a word or phrase often enough, though, he'll pick it up eventually."
"Sweet." A bunch of ideas of what Blaine could teach the bird to say were already forming in his mind and he grinned. He was starting to like the bird a little more already.
As if reading his mind, Kurt shook his head disapprovingly. "You can't teach him anything dirty."
"Aww... Why do you insist on raining on my parade?" Blaine frowned, but soon came up with a different idea. Before he could mention it, though, Kurt distracted him by running a hand up his abdomen and chest.
"Why don't I make it up to you?" he whispered seductively. He put the Liberace back in his cage, then turned to Blaine and pushed him onto the bed, crawling on top of him.
"If you insist."
"I just don't understand what I did wrong this time," Finn moaned. He was sprawled face-down on Kurt's bed, and Kurt was in his attached bathroom doing his evening facial routine.
"You offended Rachel when you told her that I make a better soufflé."
"But it's true." Finn didn't get women.
"I know that, but you still shouldn't say it." Kurt sighed. Finn really didn't get women. "Like that time you implied she needed to lose weight."
"Did not," said Finn.
"Did too," said Kurt.
"Wingardium Leviosa," said Blaine.
Liberace squawked.
Wait. What? Blaine? "Is Blaine hiding under your bed?" Finn asked, pulling himself to the edge of the bed and lifting up the covers.
Kurt giggled from the bathroom. "Blaine's not here. That was Liberace."
"I know what your dumb bird sounds like. I heard Blaine's voice."
"Wingardium Leviosa," said Blaine. Kurt laughed.
"Dammit, Blaine, where are you hiding?" He jumped off the bed and opened the doors of Kurt's wardrobe.
"Finn," Kurt was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. "Finn, stop, Blaine isn't here. Why would he be hiding if he was here?"
Finn stopped, looking confused. Kurt had a point. "Then why—"
"Wingardium Leviosa."
This time Finn was looking at the macaw when he heard it, and noticed the bird's beak moving. "Whoa. That's freaky. He sounds just like Blaine."
"I know. Blaine had the brilliant idea to teach him how to say spells from Harry Potter. He hasn't quit trying to levitate all day." Kurt loved his boyfriend's nerdy sense of humour.
"Dude," Finn said, "that would freak me out."
"Dude... Dude."
"Whoa! He sounds like me too."
"Liberace is a very good talker," Kurt said with pride. He grabbed a slice of pepper from the plate next to the cage and fed it to the bird.
The two boys watched as he ate the pepper, then, realizing he had an audience, Liberace continued talking. "Blaine... Blaine."
"That's weird that he doesn't do your voice as good," Finn observed. "Your voice isn't that low."
Kurt blushed when he realized that there were certain times when his voice was that low, that only Blaine would have heard, but he wasn't about to explain that to his brother.
"Oh, Blaine, yes," Liberace continued, and Kurt was willing him to shut up, shut up. Finn gave him an odd look. "Blaine, more, harder." The bird practically screeched the words, a perfect imitation of Kurt's desperate, needy whines. Kurt would have been impressed if he wasn't so freaking embarrassed, as Finn looked at him with an appalled expression.
"What the hell, dude?"
"Uhh, umm.. I—I have no idea where he got that from." Kurt was blushing furiously, shoving more peppers into the cage, hoping that the bird would eat them and shut up, but to no avail.
"Blaine, more... Blaine, harder... more, harder." Liberace's body was bobbing up and down as he spoke, making Kurt blush even more than he thought possible.
"Oh, good lord," Finn moaned, backing away horrified. "Christ, I gotta—I gotta go." He turned and bolted out of the room.
"Thanks a lot, you dumb bird," Kurt moaned, dropping his face into his hands.
"Dude," Liberace responded in Finn's voice, before grabbing a slice of pepper and happily tearing off a bite.
"Mmm, I love it when you do that," Blaine moaned, as Kurt scratched his nails lightly down Blaine's chest.
"Shh," Kurt whispered harshly, bringing a finger to Blaine's lips.
"What? I thought you said nobody was home." Blaine crinkled his eyebrows in confusion.
"The bird."
"You're afraid of the bird hearing us?" Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Well after the other day, he hardly has virgin ears." He grinned as he recalled the things he did to Kurt that day.
"I know that... and so does Finn." Blaine was confused again.
"Blaine, harder," Liberace squawked, as if knowing that they were talking about him. Blaine's eyes grew wide and Kurt blushed.
"He said that in front of Finn?"
"Several times." Blaine burst out laughing, and Kurt fixed him with a death glare. "It was so not funny."
"Are you kidding? That's hilarious." Blaine rolled over on top of Kurt, capturing his lips in a deep kiss. "You're just going to have to learn to be a bit quieter." He ran his hand down Kurt's thigh, eliciting a sigh. Kurt responded, and soon the boys were half dressed, groping feverishly.
"Dude."
Blaine jerked back. "Shit, Finn?" He glanced around wildly.
Kurt glared at the bird cage. "It was him."
Blaine stared for a moment, then laughed. "Well in that case..." his words trailed off as he continued what he had been doing.
"Dude."
Blaine started to pull away, but Kurt pulled him in, "Just ignore him." He teased Blaine's mouth with his tongue, reaching down to grab his ass.
"Dude."
"I can't do this," Blaine sat up with a sigh. "I can't help picturing Finn standing there, watching me defile his little brother."
"I'm older than him, Blaine."
"Yeah, but you're still little compared to him."
"Ugh," Kurt sighed dramatically, "I hate that bird."
"Dude."