The Final Giggle, Just a Pretzel Matter
By Hiro Konobu

"This one shot is basically a "poke-fun" parody of the Elite Beat Agents game for the DS...well a late game stage anyway...some of the jokes in this fanfic might give it away, and as always I the Legendary Agent Hiro Konobu only own my own conceptual fanfics."

(Story starts, with a truck going down a road, that says sarcastic pretzels on it.)

"Hey Mint it's me Ryou, over...I bet your still eating those pretzels aren't ya'?" Ryou said as he spoke over an intercom to said truck...with no answer. "Keep eatin' those pretzels, and you'll never laugh again!" Ryou said. "But then I reckon if for some reason if you did laugh it'd be very scary, and kill some guy named Mark." Ryou said laughing before getting interrupted by Mint.

"Now listen here Ryou! For some odd reason...which I can't explain, I can't stand laughing!" Mint said...though no subtitle is shown with her name on it as the game I'm poking fun at usually shows this, also we skip to a diner where Mint is eating pretzels while a TV is playing some news like broadcast.

"This just in! People are being turned into zombies, spread by a not so typical disease..." The newscaster said as he paused to say "...via kisses." However the newscaster failed to notice some zombies behind him...and also they were laughing..."No S-s-stop it!"...and well kissed him and produced a laughing fit...thus, turning him into a laughing zombie, with laughs that would make Lash of Advance Wars feel jealous...i.e.: There was a whole lot of laughing.

"For the love of Mike! All that laughing, and snickering!" Mint said unaware of what was behind her, yes it was one of those laughing zombies.

"...Heaalllp!!" Mint said very loudly, as we skip to a suit wearing Deep Blue in a suspicious looking place and a desk with a bag of the sarcastic pretzel brand on it.

"Well agents it looks like we got someone in trouble so agents are..." Deep Blue said as he was about to send a certain three aliens out before he got interrupted by one of them...well actually Kish says something.

"So boss, why are we even doing this in the first place? I mean a black suit and tie really isn't our style, and why are we helping birdy, and the blond haired guy?" Kish said.

"Well I wanted to give a late Christmas amnesty to them, as for the clothes, would you rather wear the clothes of the "Elite Beat Divas?" Deep Blue said.

"I see, but it still doesn't explain why I woke up this morning and my friends as silent as a magician with a silence spell afflicted on them?" Kish said.

"Well...I put a type of spice that makes people go silent for some time, they should be back to normal by the end of this fanfic so agents are..." Deep Blue said before getting interrupted again by Kish.

"...Before you say it, did you forget a joke when we said we disliked the style of clothes..."Kish said before getting yelled out by Deep Blue.

"No would you three like wearing said clothes! No! I don't think, so nor do the readers...maybe, so agents are..go!" Deep blue said as the three aliens rode off on a motorcycle with two passennger seats. "I gotta think of another crazy non-understandable plot later, or in the next fic this author does in the section." Deep Blue said hanging his head down.

"So you two know what to do?" Kish said as he drove said motorcycle to the place mentioned earlier in th last scene, also noted Tart, and Pie nodded.

"Ok, laughing peeps, and snickerers! If those are actually words...Feel tha powa of pretzels!" Mint said as the three aliens come in...Mint thinks they're here to help her fight. "So you three came to help?"

"Yes, by giving you moral dancing support while firing what appears to be pretzels at those zombies." Kish said as Mint falls down and a music track is played in the background...which was a slight knock off of "Destiny's Child: Survivor."...Hey that was the song for the stage I'm poking fun at, besides there was worse...

"...Idiots..." Mint said as she started to throw pretzels at the zombies...in first person shooter style, while Kish, Pie, and Tart danced.

"Eat pretzels!"Mint said as she found a gun to put said pretzels in and, started shooting the zombies a bit more.

"Bleurgh, Yuck! What happened!" Was all the de-zombie-like people could say.

"Gotta stock up on some very good pretzel ammo." Mint said as she went inside the store and found more zombies to fight...while the alien trio continued to dance.

"Kiss us!" The elder zombies said in an eerie voice.

"Yikes! Keep your distance you smiling grandpas'!" Mint said as she fired pretzels into the elder peoples' mouths.

"Disgusting, and nasty! Thanks miss, and let us thank you with a kiss." The two grandfathers said as they were about to kiss Mint.

"You could send it with flowers." Mint said as she was backing up from them as she returned to the truck., only to get an intercom message from Ryou.

"Come in Mint, this is Ryou over. Those things are attacking the office/warehouse." Ryou says on the truck intercom in a very panicky tone.

"I'm on my way Ryou." Mint said as she rushes over to the place mentioned and finds Ryou in trouble after fighting a couple zombies before hand, along with the aliens still in the background.

"Mint, do something that will get these kiss crazy zombies!" Ryou said.

"Hang in there buddy!" Mint said shooting the pretzels at the zombies.

"Nooooo!" Ryou said about to get kissed by the zombies, though the pretzels hit the zombies before that happens.

"Gee, Mint I guess your useful for something after all." Ryou said as he laughs at this but subsequently gets punched by Mint.

"Can it, laughing boy!" Mint said while punching Ryou, then going off on her own to the heart of the place she's at.

"Help!" A couple of random people say as we see a huge radish monster poke out. of the room.

"Radish monster prepare to be destroyed!" Mint said before it decided to have some words of it's own.

"Um..hello my name isn't radish monster it's Mark." The radish monster said in a completely girly voice.

"Okay, Mark...your still going to be destroyed by pretzels." Mint said.

"Try it girly-girl!" "Mark" said in a girly voice.

"That insult was horrible but nevertheless die!" Mint said starting to shoot pretzels into the monster...and yes the aliens still have no dialogue during their cheering dance, and after an epic battle with "Mark" in which we can't show due to budget constraints. "Eat...pretzels!" Mint said as the monster was revealed to be Masaya.

"Thanks Mint..." Masaya said as she pumped him full of pretzels killing him...off screen.

"Worst Masaya bashing joke ever..." Mint said out of the room.

"Excellent job, good work!" some other guy said.

"Boss Keiichiro?" Mint said surprised.

"We could learn a thing or three from you." Keiichiro said as he took a bite of some pretzels. "Yuck!"

"Pretzels!" Mint said at the end posing in front of picture of herself, Meanwhile...

"Well playing that song was interesting." An orange haired guy in a black suit said as three other figuers popped up behind him. "Yes?"

"Agent J you're under arrest for playing bad music." Kish said and with out a word J was captured.

End...or so you think...

"You know what, just for the heck of it let's show what could of happened if she ran out of pretzels...or in the game's case if you fail the song."

"Take this!" Mint said but running out of pretzels "Crap!" a couple minutes later we see Mint walking with the horde of zombies infected by the kissing virus...as she was infected too.

"Mission Failed..." Deep Blue said with his hand on his head and shaking it.

"So I hope you enjoyed the "poke-fun" at Elite Beat Agents."

J: (Tied up) I didn't!

End One-Shot

"As for the song mentioned that was what was playing during the games' required bonus episode, as for the Elite Beat Divas joke this was a harder version of the stages you had to do, their clothes were very fan service-like, and as for the Legendary Agent joke, it's a rank in the game."