It was a fucking nightmare. That's what it was. A no win scenario, not that he believed in those, he was used to believing in unachievable dreams, thank you very much, but this time there was really no way out. Participating in the wedding, him and his whole bloody family-not that they'd ever behaved like one- being butchered versus running or fighting thereby sacrificing the only people that truly ever meant something to him. What a shitty choice. Luffy would say they'll find a way, stupid moron he was. And Sanji longed to believe him, but there was no way in hell, he'd let them get his nakamas, too, even if it was the only thing he could do. Grinding his teeth for the umpteenth time and cursing the day he'd been born he balled his fists. Being slaughtered was bad enough, but letting her kill him, felt worse than starving and that was the most terrifying memory he could come up with. His ray of light. What a fool she had made him. No, he corrected himself, what a fool he had made of himself. Naive he was, no, stupid, stupid, stupid! He was a fucking moron. He had made it so easy for her to betray him, handed her his heart on the platter, let her push him in a fucking dead end street without even thinking. The marimo would love this. The shitty swordsman always scolding him for his behaviour towards the ladies. But Pudding she was no fucking lady she was - Sanji stopped his thoughts forcefully still resisting from going there, questioning everything he had believed in. He took another drag and continued staring into the dark night while he thought about what the hell he was supposed to do.