This was not written with the purpose of offending anyone, it was written purely for humour and because it is the sort of thing House would say.
P.S. I do not own House, much to my disgruntlement, and neither do I own his sarcastic brain.
Chase would probably have described her as a little chunky. Wilson would have gone all out and said she had a nice personality, which was even worse.
House just said she was fat.
She had bumps and curves where she shouldn't have, and where she should, she had mountains and crevices.
There was no way the team was letting him near this patient.
"Could be Lupus." Foreman muttered, because he thought it was expected of him.
"Are you kidding? ! Even Lupus couldn't find its way around a body that huge without a map.
"Maybe it's just a simple case of food poisoning" Cameron suggested.
"Have you got a piece of paper big enough to list all the things she has eaten in the past twenty-four hours?"
"How about doing a full body examination – see if there are any outward symptoms?"
"Chase – you would have to take a step back into the next state to get her entirely in your view!"
"Can we please stop picking on the patient! ?" Foreman intervened.
"Why? It's more fun than picking on the black doctor with a criminal record."
Foreman rolled his eyes. "Tox screen?" He ventured.
"I don't think she would be able to find her veins enough to... fine! Okay. Run some blood tests. I think she's got miles of the red stuff to spare."
The team got up and headed for the door.
"Just nobody suggest a Lumbar Puncture," He added, "We haven't got a long enough needle."