Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter and I based the fic off of IcyPanther's Parenting Class. (With her permission!) It's really good and I definitely suggest it!

This entire fan fiction is dedicated to my older sister. I hope that you like it, even though you don't like fan fiction. Happy Hanukah mi hermana!

NOTICE: This story is a humor fic. I have no plans as of yet to include any Lucius angst for Draco, and merely plan on making this fic as funny as I can. There may be a little Hermione angst, but I truly doubt it. I just don't write that type of story…

Kids Say The Darndest Things

CHAPTER ONE: Prologue:

"Are you sure that this is a good idea? The children might be uncomfortable with it…"

"Albus, the potion is perfectly safe. All it does is revert the child back to their six-year old state with no memory of anything beyond that age. It is a wonderful camouflage technique and has no lasting effects."

"But Severus, how long does it last? Wouldn't it be better to test it on your fellow professors?"

"The potion lasts for four weeks at least, by upping the dosage it will last longer. With the permission of each student's parent, I feel that we can monitor the effects on many different types of people. It's the perfect experiment."

"Hm…very well, Severus. However, I propose that we only use it on the seventh years, and create another required class."

"What would this class be, Albus?"

"Let's just call it a…newly established institution in the curriculum for seventh years to teach them how to be better parental units, shall we?"

"Who will conduct this class, Albus?"

"Severus, must you ask such tedious questions? YOU, of course!"

"…Excuse me for misunderstanding, but did you just say I would be teaching this course?"

"It is your potion, is it not? All you have to do is open the class with an explanation of the potion, what the 'assignment' is, and then tell the 'parents' to keep a journal recording any side effects of the potion. I suggest that you split the students into groups of three, so that at each time there are two parents and one child."

"Albus, as long as you split the children into groups and give the list to me later, I will gladly teach the class."

"That sounds fine, Severus. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course, Headmaster."

Severus Snape excused himself from the Headmaster's office and left quietly. As he strolled down the hall to his beloved dungeons, he had no idea what the Headmaster had planned…

The Headmaster sighed deeply, pushed himself out of his chair, and walked over to a small shelf in his office. Perched on the shelf was a raggedy old hat, with rips and tears showing its age. The Headmaster lifted the Sorting Hat down from the shelf, and placed it on his desk beside a long roll of parchment and a newly cut quill.

"Now, my dear old friend. Do you recall the students in the seventh year?"

A rip opened at the base of the Hat, the corners slowly turning up into a mischievous grin. "Recall them? I remember each of the students as if it were but yesterday that I was placed upon their heads. I suppose you would like me to sort them into groups of three?"

"That would be delightful. However, please remember to include our newest transfers into the bunch. We sorted them yesterday, my friend."

"Ah yes, the two young ladies in Ravenclaw? Albus my friend, I have just the group for them."

"Already? Well, that's very good, because I had absolutely no idea where to put them, you see. They are so new, and, if I recall their records correctly, a bit of a handful?"

"Albus, those two will be simply wonderful in this group. However, I do see a problem in a few other groups. Shall we begin sorting?"

"Sort away, friend. You'll be the sorter, I'll be your scribe. Savvy?"

"…Savvy? Albus, you've been watching far too many Muggle movies…"

"Pish posh Hat. They are quite amusing! I'll have to take you sometime…"

"Albus…may we begin?"

"Right, right…first group?"

"Now, I figure that Hannah Abbot will do well with…"

AN: Okies, that's chappie numero uno. Like?

Happy New Year to all and to all a good night!

REVIEW FOR ME! I love you all, even those who don't but I'd really appreciate feedback!

Thanks to TamX2 for beta-ing and letting me use her as a base for Missy's character…

MWAHs to y'all!

libaka