NOTES: this is my first (and likely last) fanfic. It's a tad bit cheesy.
Please read and review! I can't get better if I don't know what I'm doing
wrong! Be honest. If you didn't see "Double Cap" and don't know who
Calleigh's father is, just think of a drunken southern man, he's somewhat
of a redneck and has the same accent as Calleigh, only stronger. I don't
own any of these characters, blah blah blah.
My phone rings, interrupting my conversation with Detective John Hagen. "Duquesne." I hear my mother's voice. My heart stops beating for a moment as her voice becomes serious. I listen. I feel dizzy, I look up and John looks back at me with worried eyes. I hang up the phone. "What happened? Are you all right?" I can feel his hand on my arm. I can't tell him. Words won't come out. I try again. "My father was in a car crash." I pause to collect myself. "He was drinking. They don't know if he's going to be okay." "I'm sorry." He is whispering, careful of his words. "My mother bought plane tickets; they want me to go to Louisiana. Today." He is looking me in the eye. I find myself staring back in spite of the situation. "Are you going to be okay?" He catches himself. He looks up, making excuses. "Are you still going to be able to get me those ballistics reports? I wouldn't want you overlooking evidence." His face forms a professional expression. His eyes give him away. He can tell I see right through him. "Do you need a ride to the airport?" "Thank you." I feel weak. My knees aren't working properly. I walk towards his car.
I don't know what to say to her, she is silent. I concentrate on driving. "I knew he had a problem." She is fighting back tears, speaking quietly. "What?" "I knew he had a problem, I didn't do anything about it. This is my fault, it shouldn't have happened." Her voice is cracking, she watches me as I answer. "Calleigh," I pause. "This isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself for something you can't control." She looks out her window. I want to comfort her, hold her and tell her everything will be okay. I'm not sure about that myself.
My bag is light. I couldn't concentrate on packing. The airport is crowded and stuffy. I'm having trouble breathing. John is standing with me, I'm glad he's here. "I should be back by Tuesday. I'm sorry to be leaving on such short notice. I know how important this case is." "Calleigh, its okay, don't worry about it." He's standing so close. "If I need the results before you get back, someone else can get them. Don't worry." He reaches over and brushed back tears I didn't know were there. He looks me in the eye again. He leans forward. I can't face it right now. Not like this. I turn my head. His lips gently brush my cheek as my flight is called. "I have to go."
I go running when I need to think. The moment it happened I regretted it. She was upset. She was shaking. She just looked so.vulnerable. I should know better. Calleigh Duquesne is anything but vulnerable. I've known her for years and she still surprises me. She's twice as strong and ten times as smart as most cops I've met. I can't find words to describe what I feel for her. I try to keep it hidden. I know she sees right through me. We've been playing this game too long. Thinking about her brings a smile to my lips. I think about her eyes. I get caught in those eyes every time I see her. I think about her smile. The edges of her lips curving up so slowly I never notice. A dog barking brings me back to reality. It starts to rain, but I'm not ready to go home yet.
I replayed it in my head a million times. I keep seeing the hurt in his eyes as I turned away. I never meant to hurt him. So many thoughts rushed through my head on the plane. I wait in the hospital. It's late and I can't see my father yet. He spent the day in intensive care, but they say he's going to pull through. The man he crashed into is still in a coma, they don't know if he will ever wake up. I don't want to think about it. I fall asleep across some chairs in the waiting room. I dream that John is with me again, watching me sleep. I can almost feel his presence, his eyes on me. I feel safe. I open my eyes and find myself alone. Or am I? Two eyes stare back at me. A young boy, he's been crying, he has fear in his eyes. "What are you doing here all alone? Are you looking for someone?" "My daddy got hit by a car. He won't wake up. He clings to a stuffed bear. My heart sinks. A nurse walks over to me. "You can go in and visit your father now." She leads me to his room. "Dad? Are you awake?" "Lambchops! See you tell that woman there that I do have a daughter. She wouldn't believe me." His head is bandaged, his arm in a cast. He seems disoriented and confused. "Dad, how are you feeling?" "I'm just fine. Just a bump on the head." He pauses. "I'm in a lot of trouble, aren't I Calleigh." "I don't know dad. You were drinking a lot. You hit another car, the man you hit is very sick." "I don't remember any of that nonsense. One minute I'm driving, next I'm on a bed with tubes in my arms." "We've talked about this before dad." My voice cracks. I try again. "You can't just drink like this anymore." "You told me that, I've been cutting back, just like you said." I can't hold it in any longer. I tear finds its way down my cheek.
She was back at work on Wednesday. I watch as she works alone, test firing the gun from a suspect. I don't want to interrupt her, I stand quietly until she finishes. "Calleigh." I speak softly, she walks over to me. "Oh hey, I finished test firing the 0.36 from your suspect, it matches the bullet found at the scene. You have your murder weapon." She looks up and smiles. It startles me. I haven't seen that smile in a long time. "Thank you." She doesn't say anything. I start to explain. "Calleigh, at the airport, I shouldn't have, I mean." She puts her finger on my lips to stop me. She stands so close; her eyes are searching for something in mine. "John, I'm sorry." She steps in closer, replacing her finger with her lips. I feel a million things at once. The softness of her lips against mine, her hands, now intertwined with my own. It feels as if I have been waiting for this moment forever. She buries her face in my chest. "I love you." She whispers. I look in her eyes and I know that she means it. I wrap my arms around her and smile. "I love you too."
My phone rings, interrupting my conversation with Detective John Hagen. "Duquesne." I hear my mother's voice. My heart stops beating for a moment as her voice becomes serious. I listen. I feel dizzy, I look up and John looks back at me with worried eyes. I hang up the phone. "What happened? Are you all right?" I can feel his hand on my arm. I can't tell him. Words won't come out. I try again. "My father was in a car crash." I pause to collect myself. "He was drinking. They don't know if he's going to be okay." "I'm sorry." He is whispering, careful of his words. "My mother bought plane tickets; they want me to go to Louisiana. Today." He is looking me in the eye. I find myself staring back in spite of the situation. "Are you going to be okay?" He catches himself. He looks up, making excuses. "Are you still going to be able to get me those ballistics reports? I wouldn't want you overlooking evidence." His face forms a professional expression. His eyes give him away. He can tell I see right through him. "Do you need a ride to the airport?" "Thank you." I feel weak. My knees aren't working properly. I walk towards his car.
I don't know what to say to her, she is silent. I concentrate on driving. "I knew he had a problem." She is fighting back tears, speaking quietly. "What?" "I knew he had a problem, I didn't do anything about it. This is my fault, it shouldn't have happened." Her voice is cracking, she watches me as I answer. "Calleigh," I pause. "This isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself for something you can't control." She looks out her window. I want to comfort her, hold her and tell her everything will be okay. I'm not sure about that myself.
My bag is light. I couldn't concentrate on packing. The airport is crowded and stuffy. I'm having trouble breathing. John is standing with me, I'm glad he's here. "I should be back by Tuesday. I'm sorry to be leaving on such short notice. I know how important this case is." "Calleigh, its okay, don't worry about it." He's standing so close. "If I need the results before you get back, someone else can get them. Don't worry." He reaches over and brushed back tears I didn't know were there. He looks me in the eye again. He leans forward. I can't face it right now. Not like this. I turn my head. His lips gently brush my cheek as my flight is called. "I have to go."
I go running when I need to think. The moment it happened I regretted it. She was upset. She was shaking. She just looked so.vulnerable. I should know better. Calleigh Duquesne is anything but vulnerable. I've known her for years and she still surprises me. She's twice as strong and ten times as smart as most cops I've met. I can't find words to describe what I feel for her. I try to keep it hidden. I know she sees right through me. We've been playing this game too long. Thinking about her brings a smile to my lips. I think about her eyes. I get caught in those eyes every time I see her. I think about her smile. The edges of her lips curving up so slowly I never notice. A dog barking brings me back to reality. It starts to rain, but I'm not ready to go home yet.
I replayed it in my head a million times. I keep seeing the hurt in his eyes as I turned away. I never meant to hurt him. So many thoughts rushed through my head on the plane. I wait in the hospital. It's late and I can't see my father yet. He spent the day in intensive care, but they say he's going to pull through. The man he crashed into is still in a coma, they don't know if he will ever wake up. I don't want to think about it. I fall asleep across some chairs in the waiting room. I dream that John is with me again, watching me sleep. I can almost feel his presence, his eyes on me. I feel safe. I open my eyes and find myself alone. Or am I? Two eyes stare back at me. A young boy, he's been crying, he has fear in his eyes. "What are you doing here all alone? Are you looking for someone?" "My daddy got hit by a car. He won't wake up. He clings to a stuffed bear. My heart sinks. A nurse walks over to me. "You can go in and visit your father now." She leads me to his room. "Dad? Are you awake?" "Lambchops! See you tell that woman there that I do have a daughter. She wouldn't believe me." His head is bandaged, his arm in a cast. He seems disoriented and confused. "Dad, how are you feeling?" "I'm just fine. Just a bump on the head." He pauses. "I'm in a lot of trouble, aren't I Calleigh." "I don't know dad. You were drinking a lot. You hit another car, the man you hit is very sick." "I don't remember any of that nonsense. One minute I'm driving, next I'm on a bed with tubes in my arms." "We've talked about this before dad." My voice cracks. I try again. "You can't just drink like this anymore." "You told me that, I've been cutting back, just like you said." I can't hold it in any longer. I tear finds its way down my cheek.
She was back at work on Wednesday. I watch as she works alone, test firing the gun from a suspect. I don't want to interrupt her, I stand quietly until she finishes. "Calleigh." I speak softly, she walks over to me. "Oh hey, I finished test firing the 0.36 from your suspect, it matches the bullet found at the scene. You have your murder weapon." She looks up and smiles. It startles me. I haven't seen that smile in a long time. "Thank you." She doesn't say anything. I start to explain. "Calleigh, at the airport, I shouldn't have, I mean." She puts her finger on my lips to stop me. She stands so close; her eyes are searching for something in mine. "John, I'm sorry." She steps in closer, replacing her finger with her lips. I feel a million things at once. The softness of her lips against mine, her hands, now intertwined with my own. It feels as if I have been waiting for this moment forever. She buries her face in my chest. "I love you." She whispers. I look in her eyes and I know that she means it. I wrap my arms around her and smile. "I love you too."