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Two Lives
When they graduated as genin in the same class, they were not particularly aware of the other at that time. They were classmates, yes, and they had (had) a common friend in Ino, but that was it. They did not even spend any great amount of time outside of the academy in each other's company.
He was the lazy kid that always slept during class in the backrow and complained about everything that deviated from his plans to continue to do so.
She was the girl with the best marks and her hand continuously raised in the air to answer yet another question.
To say they were like polar opposites was far from the truth. And yet, just like the rest of their classmates, they had the will of fire burning in them, the loyalty to Konoha and the desire to protect their friends.
They were divided into different teams and for the time being that was that. No thought was spared for the other, and no time spent in the other's company.
Then came the chuunin exams and both their teams were signed up. While the written test was nothing but a repetition of their academy days, the second and survival part of the exam was anything but. In team seven's fashion, everything went downhill for them, though not faulted by them. After all, who expected a wanted s-class missing nin to show up at chuunin exams?
That is the next time they really meet again, team ten jumping in front of Sakura and her unconscious teammates to stop them from being killed. Because what is a test in comparison to the lives of fellow Konoha shinobi and of people you practically grew up with.
They don't really talk to each other, but they consciously thought of the other on a different level than before, and that was a start. Whenever they saw each other again he would feel an underlying feeling of respect for how she fought in self-perseverance and for the lives of her teammates as well as protectiveness for someone he has already protected once and didn't want to see beaten up again. She would be reminded of his courage, pushing his team to help her and her team, as well as a deep routed thankfulness and trust, knowing she could count on him when times got rough.
From that moment on they were more aware of the other's presence. Sakura cheered him on in the final stage of the chuunin exams, and contrary to the audience's reaction she could understand his actions, even if they were quite convenient for someone as lazy as him. And the respect for his hidden genius mounted to what she already knew about him. Though, his faking to be under the genjutsu certainly made her question her previously formed opinion. Which was then again certified when he remained behind to take care of the sound shinobi following them. And while Sakura certainly worried she also trusted in his abilities to halt them and hopefully come out alive.
The next time they see each other he is team captain of the Sasuke-retrieval team. He made chuunin, she knows, but doesn't spare many thoughts on him, her worry and distress lying with her missing teammate she proclaimed her love to not even 24 hours ago. She hopes they will succeed, bares her vulnerability and hopes and tears to the Konoha eleven boys about to part, even though it makes them obviously uncomfortable. And while Naruto makes her a promise to bring their lost one back she looks at Shikamaru, because he is team leader and he is the responsible and trustworthy one in this situation. But as much as Sakura's pleading eyes searched they found no promise of success answering in his, only a word that he would try. And somehow that made it much more reassuring for her, because what are pretty words compared to hard facts?
And he has tried, so very hard and risked so many lives, but it wasn't enough. And somehow Sakura can't fault him when he tells her, eyes red-rimmed, shoulders slumped and full of regret, guilt and worry. So she thanks him, for trying, for telling her personally, for himself, because he seemed to expect to be blamed by her for his failure as well. And she takes him in her arms, encircles him with them and puts her face in the space between his neck and head, even though he stiffens up, and thanks him again in a whisper this time, holding him tightly.
"Thank you Shikamaru."
It's full of meaning and comfort and the forgiveness he didn't expect, and if he returned the gesture of comfort and their eyes became a little redder, nobody was there to tell.
Together they sit and wait for their teammates, their friends, their fellow shinobi to be saved, because there is no other possible outcome to the surgeries. There just isn't. And to remain steady they hold on each other, to remain calm. Sharing pain and sharing empathy and sharing anxiousness. And they wait.
Exhausted after a night of uncertainty but relieved with the positive news Shikamaru companies her home, because he was raised chivalrous and it wasn't that he had anywhere to be anyway. She was raised to be polite and honest in return, so she kissed him on the cheek and wished him a good night, looking back at him again when closing the door.
From then on, the two saw each other more often, but that was because of conscious effort on both their parts. With Sakura being the last remaining member of team seven in Konoha, training alone under the Hokage, she was invited often by Shikamaru to join team ten in their workout, which she gratefully did, given that the other members were very open to her company. Sakura in turn always asked for Shikamaru when she passed or visited the Nara compound for her studies on poisons and herbs. And it almost always ended in the two spending at least a few hours in front of a shogi board, concentrated and enjoying themselves immensely, as Yoshino noted and giddily relayed to her husband upon his return home from a day at work with a grin and sparkling, mischievous eyes. In the other cases, they would be in the restricted forest of Shikamaru's clan, watching clouds, Sakura having - surprisingly? - developed a liking to the pastime, observing the deer or collecting medical herbs.
It didn't come as a surprise then that the two felt closer to each other than to anyone else of their age and trusted each other implicitly. Then the chuunin exams came around again and Sakura participated with the rest of team ten while Shikamaru was roped into being one of the proctors to oversee it.
With the last year and a half training together Ino, Chouji and Sakura had no problem working together in the exam, but of course, again not everything went according to plan with the attack on the Kazekage and the advancement left to be decided by the respective Kages - Ino and Chouji later jokingly blamed it on Sakura, her being part of the disastrous team seven prone to, well, disasters.
They advanced regardless, proudly accepting the green chuunin vest and title of chuunin from their Hokage. From now on they went on even more missions with each other, now being on the same level as Shikamaru and Sakura joining as supplementary chuunin medic. And while their rank changed their hobbies didn't and Shikamaru and Sakura were as close as never before. They had both also grown up and were more aware of the others presence and meaning of their companionship. But when looking into each other's eyes they saw security and mirrored awareness and acceptance, so they never said anything, already knowing the other was on the exact same page/wavelength.
Then Naruto came back and Sakura was sent to Suna to help a poisoned Kankuro. What they didn't know or expect was an encounter with the Akatsuki and the following fight with a murderous puppet. When Sakura was pierced by the poisoned blade, knowing it harmed a vital organ, one face flashed before her eyes, that reminded her not to give up and fight on and destroy the damn puppet before it could harm anyone else she cared about. And no, contrary to her team's belief when she told them about her fight on the road home, it wasn't someone with black hair and hatred in his eyes, but piercing brown eyes that showed trust, security and the will of fire. Not that she bothered correcting them.
When Shikamaru got wind of what happened on her mission his face got unreadable, though his eyes narrowed noticeably. It was a wake-up call for the both of them. There was no more playing ninja, things were now more dangerous than before, or they always were and they never noticed, or never wanted to take notice. However, that was a thing from the past now and luck only went so far until one ran out of it.
They trained more and saw each other less, with Sakura joining team Kakashi and going on missions with them. What kept them connected, though, were the weakly shogi games they both still indulged in, when they were tired and in need of good company they could be themselves in and relax fully. It became something the both of them looked forward to, more desperately as time went on.
Then Asuma died and team ten was in scrambles. They lost their beloved sensei that companied them for years and now they were like lost sheep, searching for guidance. Sakura tried to be there for them, after all, she had also spent the last two years with them and Asuma and felt just as sad that her somewhat adopted sensei wouldn't be coming back. Worse, he left a pregnant woman behind and would never be able to see his own child.
While Ino and Chouji mourned and cried and hurt openly, Shikamaru tried to bottle everything up. And Sakura didn't know what to do to help him, but after the funeral she confronted him, telling him to let it out, to grieve, because trying to swallow all the pain would only lead to his downfall eventually. She didn't let up, stubbornly and caringly provoking him that night in his bedroom, when he lashed out, finally no longer being able to take it and pouring out his anger, hopelessness, grieve and hurt. Sakura was there all night, holding him in her arms, hiding him from the world while shedding tears of her own when he shared his pain with her.
Then they planned. While Sakura wasn't all that happy with the idea of revenge, having already lost a teammate to the hateful aspiration, she still helped Shikamaru plan, because losing him was just not an option. Better he include her and she knows what he is doing than being left behind oblivious and alone.
Then he, Ino and Chouji left before daybreak. Sakura stayed behind and then came with the reinforcement team when the sun rose and the Hokage was informed (by her). She really didn't like being forced to wait and only going as backup, but at least they would have backup in case something went wrong. And luckily, they did come. Who knows how things would have ended up had Naruto not in his usual fashion saved them. Sakura and Sai were the ones who went to look for Shikamaru, alone with the immortal one – what the hell was he thinking?! – when he walked out of the forest in one piece, looking visibly lighter and calmer, accepting.
Sakura instantly bombarded him with questions about his wellbeing while doing a chakra-check and berating him how dangerous this all was, while Shikamaru complained and continuously reminded her that everything went well in the end and that this had to be done. Sai merely looked on with a blank face but curios, while inwardly wondering if this was what the books explained as 'fussing' and 'different forms of appreciation and caring of males and females'.
They returned to Konoha, got a loud reprimand by the Hokage to never to something like that again before things settles into a kind of normality again, only slightly different, with people missing and war only waiting to happen. Still, having been so blatantly reminded by life how fast someone can be here one day and then gone the next, Sakura and Shikamaru took to seeing each other more frequently again, and not always to play shogi. They made it a point of seeing each other daily, if only to chat a few minutes, eat lunch together – the code breaker department having similar shifts as the hospital -, or watching the sundown from the wooden floor covered in tatami mats and pillows in front of the open sliding door of Shikamaru's room. Their days wouldn't be over before not having seen the other in the instances where they were both in Konoha and not away on a mission.
Then Pain attacked. Shikamaru had been feverishly working on decoding Jiraiya's message, but while they still managed it with Naruto's help, in the end it was naught and they couldn't hinder the attack. Sakura helped heal the injured at the hospital that multiplied every time she seemed to turn her back and was just about to bring some order in the chaos when the building collapsed and buried hundreds under it. Sakura, having miraculously made it out unharmed, couldn't believe the cruelty of harming the already injured, mostly civilians. She took to fighting and healing who she passed on her way to the centre, to Naruto. But when she reached it she could do nothing while her teammate faced off alone against a so proclaimed god with a rinnegan, and then the next moment he was no longer there. Konoha was destroyed, and many of its inhabitants harmed or dead-
until Naruto returned from wherever the hell he had been and they weren't anymore.
Sakura had long since given up rationalising the unexplainable when it came to Naruto and just felt glad and grateful to the blond knucklehead. Still, Tsunade was in a coma and Danzo took his chance to take the title of Hokage like he always wanted. But while he tried to take over seemingly justified and peaceful, many weren't fooled and Sakura would let hell freeze over before she let anything happen to her unconscious shishou, 'accidentally' or not.
And then Shikamaru came. He was unharmed, thankfully she noticed with a heavy heart, but he was also there for a certain reason. Because he was her friend - or really so much more than that, but who cared about labels at that moment – she knew how hard it was for him to tell her these words, but she also knew what he said to be the truth and not something to take personally or in a harmful way. It still hurt, but she knew what she had to do. Before leaving she temporarily entrusts Tsunade into his care and he took her meaningful gesture as just that: a token of her trust and sign that everything was still the same between them. That nothing has changed. That she understands and that she will try to come back, a message repeated every time one of them leaves on a mission, because there will never be promises of outcomes between them, but promises of trying, with all their might. And that was enough.
She fails, though. Not the coming back part, but the 'release Naruto from his promise to you' part and later the 'kill Sasuke' objective. She gets almost killed, twice, by her old teammate, and when she comes back she can barely look Shikamaru in the eyes, out of shame. He doesn't let her wallow away though, and takes her hand before leading her to their favourite spot in the Nara forest. They lie down on the soft grass, surrounded by peaceful wildlife and nature, and Sakura curls into him, holding him desperately before telling him all about what happened, all the while crying and apologising and hiccupping and hurting. He holds her tightly in return, telling her that she has nothing to apologize for, stroking her vibrant pink hair while glaring at the sky, hurting with her and swearing to himself that he would not allow something similar to happen again. If that meant facing the Uchiha traitor himself, then so be it.
War is declared and they move out. They know that time is of essence and that everything could happen, and that there was no insurance that both of them would make it out alive. So when they are divided into different division, as they already suspected, he takes her aside behind one of the supply tents. His hands hold her cheeks with his thumbs caressing them while he steadily looks into her green green eyes that are fixed on his and they both know there is nothing to say, they both know what the other feels, they are certain, but he still has to get the words out, because it could be the last time he sees her, damn it.
"Sakura", he breaths out, "you are not allowed to die, got it. You are to be careful and survive and come back to me when this is all over, okay." He swallows, leaning his forehead against her, which is lovely and not too big, regardless of what the bullies in their childhood said.
"Because I need you in my life. I want you next to me, every step of the way, be it five, ten or twenty years from now. So you are not allowed to die, do you understand?" Shikamaru said imploringly.
And then Sakura smiles. It's soft and reassuring and full of love and takes Shikamaru's breath away.
"Of course. Same goes to you. I can't be by your side if you're not there, so you better be there, Shikamaru, or I swear to god I will haunt you in the afterlife, I will find a way." Then she becomes more serious.
"I will try my best to come back to you, so you do the same for me. Okay?" And because it's a promise to try, just like in the past, just like always, it's what they are content with. And because every promise is sealed in some way, be it a smile, a touch, a nod or a signature, this one is sealed with a kiss. It's nor desperate or deep or forceful or just a peck, but it is honest, heartfelt, soft and leaves with a promise of more, when the time comes and no one can separate this pair of lips.
Then they part ways and join their separate division, hearts securely in the other's hands, and all thoughts of love and hope and need is pushed aside, because now the war has begun. It's cruel, long, exhausting and full of nightmares. It's nothing like the stories of heroes they heard growing up, but then again, they knew that when they became ninja and lived through their first kills. After all, there is nothing heroic in taking a life. They fight and follow orders and lose teammate and fight on, grieving comes later. They only see each other once, and he is almost dying when she finds him and puts all her healing capabilities to work, because they promised, damn it, and so she would try and give her all. He makes it, they both breath out, lock eyes and share emotions before she is gone again, to another poor soul needing her help. And when the Infinite Tsukuyomi is released he is caught in it while she isn't.
She fights on, against a god-damn realGoddess this time, because obviously Madara wasn't enough of an opponent, and somehow, don't ask her how, they win, while he dreams about peace, lazy afternoons and green eyes surrounded by pink. And it's beautiful, something he's always wanted.
Naruto and Sasuke fight, because, obviously, they still had enough energy left after fighting a Goddess - yes, emphasised yet again! - and then it's finally, finally over. Officially.
Because Sakura is a medic and her work is a long way from finished, so she goes where she is most needed, the medic camp, and does her best for another day. And another. And another.
After a week, she is finally finished. Those who could have been helped were tended to and were now recuperating and the others were either healthy or dead. She feverishly hoped Shikamaru was in the first category, because he wasn't one of her patients and the other possibility made her heart clench and eyes water.
She is bone tired and exhausted when she makes it to her cot, only being able to fall down upon it and then she is out as a light. She wakes with strong warm arms wrapped around her and a familiar soothing smell in her nose. She tears up and tightens her grip, because she knows exactly who it is and her heart is singing with relief and happiness. The notorious sleeper seems to be awake as well as the manly arms tighten around her too and he breaths out a heavy sigh.
"And they say I sleep all the time", his deep voice rasps into her hair while she just cannot stop crying. It's overwhelming to know that it is finally over, and that he is here, with her, alive. She thanks all the gods she knows, even the ones she doesn't know before replying:
"It seems you are rubbing off on me. I wished it would be your genius and not your laziness."
"You've got enough of the first one already, so it seems I'm only completing you in what you are lacking, in this case laziness. You will thank me soon enough after you will find its advantages", he tells her while breathing her in and smiling into the mop of pink before him. She lets out a laugh and mumbles something like 'lazy ass' into his shirt, but he feigns not to hear it and keeps holding her to him, because he has no intention of letting her go ever again.
And so they return, home, next to each other. Not everything is sunshine and roses, because they both, just like many else, have nightmare that plague them many nights. Sakura's are filled with the faces of all those she couldn't save, and Shikamaru dreamt of his father dead, and his mother crying, even though he has not physically witnessed either. They become each other's rock, like they have been before, and after some time it hurts less and less.
They are now officially going out, but not much has changed in their routine. They still see each other every day, but now there are also sleepovers, hugs and kisses and the occasional words of affection involved. And when he eventually asks the question all girls dream about when they are small and she answers the way all girls imagine they would when growing up, the whole village and then some is invited to celebrate with them. Because nothing is as pure and soothing to an aching heart that has seen too much and done things that cannot be undone than true, honest love. And by letting others join you, by sharing the love you share the pain and make it better all the same. And when a year later a token of their love is born into the world the village heals a little more, because if something so innocent isn't a sign that everything is as it should be, that the days of the dark lay behind them, then what is?
And the promise sealed by the kiss was held, even years after the promised five, ten and twenty. It held another forty beautiful years, but who could be surprised, really, when the love they shared was so strikingly clear?
Xxx
I actually like how this one came out, so please tell me how you found it!
I would really appreciate some feedback, so pretty please
-Sweetysm :)
