This is based on a dream I had once that I thought was particularly odd, except with everyone replaced by Hetalia characters. I was thinking I could post Hetalia parodies of my weirdest dreams when I can't think of anything, but I might not if no one likes this.

I'm not sure if this would be considered a "crack-fic" or not...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia. Or Pokémon. Or the alphabet. Or Legend of Zelda. Please don't take offense at anything in this! ^^'


Once upon the Cenozoic Era, in a galaxy really, really close by, there was a slumber party. This is where our story begins.


No one knew why the Asia family had suddenly agreed to move in with Russia. Something about not having enough family members. In any case, America wasn't complaining; he and the other countries of the UN had been invited to a big moving-in sleepover party! It was gonna be epic.

When he arrived at Russia's house, there was no one in sight. He sighed, disappointed. Then, South Korea popped out from under a table and waved cheerfully. "Hi! Come on! We're all under here!" He disappeared behind the concealing tablecloth. Curious as to what everyone was doing under the table, and not to be left out, America ducked under as well.

Under the table, which was kinda like the TARDIS - small on the outside but huge on the inside - the countries of Asia and the USSR, as well as some others, were all jumbled together, some in sleeping bags, others making conversation, others engaging in their own activities. Some were sitting upside down, but the reason for that was never disclosed.

America plopped down in between Britain and Japan and took out his DS. "Whoo! LoZ time!" he cheered, and started to play Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Suddenly, Link started going haywire! The controls weren't working! Panicking, America looked around, and saw that the Link on Japan's DS was doing the same thing.

"Heeeey! Japan, how're you controlling my guy, dude?!"

"Action Repray," replied Japan, making Link demolish everything in sight.

America pouted. "There's no cheat like that on my Action Replay! Is that some kind of special Japanese ver- HEY! WHERE'S MY FAVORITE HOPPIP?!" He looked frantically through his Hoppip-free deck of Pokémon cards, then noticed Korea holding a card with a little pink smiley face on it. "KOREA! GIVE BACK MY HOPPIP!"

"Nu-uh! It's my Hoppip!" retorted Korea, hiding the card in his sleeves.

"NO, IT'S-" America was cut off as the table suddenly disappeared. All the countries were now standing in a white marble entry hall that ended in a sheer cliff on one side.

The door burst open, and Prussia stomped into the room. "HA! It is I, the great and awesomely powerful Prussia!" he announced in The Great and Powerful Trixie's voice.

"No vone invited you, Prussia," growled Hungary, readying her frying pan.

Prussia's voice returned to normal. "Kesesese! I don't need an invitation! I'm too awesome for that! Now-" he gestured dramatically to the Leapfrog Letter Factory-style letters standing behind the group of countries, "I am here to fix the alphabet!"

The other countries stared, dumbfounded.

"Hmph! Don't act like you don't get it! There's way too many letters in the alphabet! I mean, why 26?! Why not 21?!"

The other countries stared, still dumbfounded.

Prussia stamped his foot in frustration. "There's too many! That is why we must throw some of them off a cliff!"

The alphabet bounced around and squeaked in protest.

Prussia grabbed all the letters and zipped them up in a...y'know those things that you hang over doors that have a bunch of pouches, that you can keep slippers and books and stuff in? One of those.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, PRUSSIA!" exclaimed Su-san.

"Yes I will!" shot back Prussia. He took the letter Z out of its pouch and held it threateningly over the cliff. "Kesesesese~! Say goodbye to the letter Z!" Z struggled furiously, squealing in terror.

"No! Wait!" squeaked a small voice.

Everyone turned around to see America's uncle Phanpy (not a play on Uncle Sam, it really was named Uncle Phanpy) standing behind them, glaring in determination. "We CAN save the alphabet!"

Prussia scowled. "Fine, so you've figured out my awesome plan. But! To save the alphabet, you first must pass my test!" At his words, a gigantic inflatable slide appeared where there had once been stairs.

"BEHOLD! THE GIANT INFLATABLE SLIDE GAME!"

Everyone beholded.

"The rules are simple; you must slide up the inflatable slide, through all nine stories of this house! On your way, you must deactivate the red sensor thingies - but be warned, the moment you do, a swarm of Beedrill and Ryhorn will appear and start chasing you! If you are caught, you must start over. Deactivate all of the sensors to win and defeat the awesome me," the silver-haired country explained, nodding matter-of-factly.

"Piece of cake!" squeaked Uncle Phanpy. "Rollout!" He rolled up into a ball and shot up the slide.


One hour later...

America randomly appeared next to Uncle Phanpy. "So, how's it going?"

"Last level," panted Uncle Phanpy in a squeaky way. "I just need to beat these last Pokémon!"

He pulled out a Pokéball. "Go! Caterpie!" A little green caterpillar came out of the ball. "Use Rock Slide!" An avalanche of rocks appeared out of nowhere and crushed the group of boxy Rumble-style Metapod and Kakuna in front of them, who began teetering dizzily. "They're wobbly! Caterpie, again!" The rocks crushed them once more. The vicious wild Pokémon shrunk, fell over on their sides, and became surrounded with blue rings of light. "Quick! Collect them!"

America ran over and touched all the fallen Pokémon. They disappeared, going directly to his Pokémon inventory.

Then, a bunch of Golem and Machamp spawned, roaring menacingly.

"Caterpie! Sleep Powder!" commanded Uncle Phanpy in a squeaky way.

Caterpie unleashed a wave of blue sparkles over the wild Pokémon. The Golems and Machamps immediately exploded and fell over.

"Yeah! One hit KO!" cheered America, collecting the fallen Pokémon.

"Now what?" asked Uncle Phanpy.

"...let's go play with our new Pokémon!" suggested America.

"Okay!" exclaimed Phanpy, and the two of them ran off to play with their new Pokémon.


And the alphabet was never saved. I woke up at that point.

Actually, the dream was that my cousins were moving in with my friends into a nine-story mansion, and Count Olaf burst in uninvited to kill the alphabet. Butch from Team Rocket was also in it, but I forget what he was doing.

CAST:

America as Me

Japan as My Cousin

South Korea as My Other Cousin

Prussia as Count Olaf

Other Countries as My Other Friends

Uncle Phanpy as Uncle Phanpy

Caterpie as Caterpie

Other Pokémon as Themselves

Plz review! Or else...Korea will claim your Hoppips! :D