This is NOT my fanfiction, all of the following story belongs to a good friend of mine. He wrote this for me and our little group of friends on Skype for fun.
P.S. Nice DMMd reference Aidan x3
Guillermo in Hell – A Ciel X Guillermo Fanfic – by Aidan
"Guillermo went to hell for being a lolicon and brought back Ciel" – Rod 2014
Before you read this fanfic, understand that this is all a huge JOKE and is NOT meant to be taken seriously. The contents of this story are extremely ridiculous and are meant to be comical, not serious. I don't actually enjoy shipping my friends. Once again I'll say that this is a JOKE. This is what happens when you give Aidan a funny idea and a ton of free time.
In all of my boring days in this shithole of place you mortals call hell, never have I seen such sight as the time when a good ole friend of mine, Satan, summoned Guillermo down here for a party. Satan's a good guy, and every once in a while he likes to bring his favorite mortal's down for some shenanigans. I, being the former King of Portugal, am always invited to these hellish gatherings. Satan and I have grown close over the 7,000 years I've been down here, and I remember this particular event like it was yesterday.
"Whoa, fuck, where the hell am I?" Guillermo woke up on the cold hard grown next to a pit of boiling lava.
"Yes"
He looked up and a cute little demon wearing a smug grin was hovering over him.
"What do you mean 'yes'?" Guillermo asked with a confused look on his face?
"Hell. Yes." The demon said with a smile.
Guillermo took a moment to think about this, and then he finally put two and two together and it finally hit him that he was in hell and they is no going back, or so he thought. Right when he was in the middle of one of his Sakuya fantasies, too. But one thing was strange, he had no memory of his death. Whatever, he thought, I guess I just gotta follow this demon and maybe I'll get some answers.
Before he knew it the demon had his arms bound in chains and they were flying off to a castle in the sky.
"Where are you taking me?" He asked
"The big guy is looking for ya, he wants to throw a party, and you're invited."
"A party with Satan?" Guillermo said in confusion.
His mind began to wander as they flew over the desolate wasteland of hell. What could Satan want with me? I'm a good guy, completely innocent. I haven't done any harm to anyone. My friend's say I'm crazy, but that's about it. He thought.
"pay attention, where almost here." The demon said with delight.
He brought him to the rooftop of a crimson brick castle. In the center was a slick businessman laying on a lounge chair. The man wore a black suit with a red tie and a white shirt. Sunglasses covered his eyes. His jet black hair was slicked back and he donned a menacing grin.
"There he is" The demon said, as he gave a shrill laugh and a look of pure ecstasy came across his face.
The slick businessman in front of him was Satan himself.
"Welcome, Guillermo, congratulations, you're in hell." His voice was calm and composed. Not a creature in hell stirred as he spoke.
"Hello… Satan." Guillermo answered with a scared look on his face. He has come to face to face with Satan. Of course he would be scared.
"Relax, Relax you're not here to be punished…" Satan said
"But this is hell." Guillermo abruptly interrupted.
"So what? The Devil can't throw a party and have a good time too? It gets pretty lame around here after a while. You're not the first mortal to be summoned here. I've partied with Bernie Madoff, Snoop Dawg, Bill Clinton, and Bill O'Riely, and they're all still alive." Satan replied
"Alright then, let's party" Guillermo began "but wait, there's something I have to ask you first, How am I in hell if I don't remember my death? I remember I was sitting in my bed fapping to sweet dreams of Touhou and then all of a sudden I am here."
"Oh Guillermo" Satan said with a look on his face. He continued
"Guillermo Guillermo Guillermo… You are not dead, or at least not really dead, I have simply summoned you here, corpse and all."
"But how does that work?" Guillermo asked
"I'm Satan and I can do whatever the fuck I want in here" Satan said with an arrogant tone
"Alright, fair enough" Guillermo answered
"Great..." Satan said
"One more thing!" Guillermo said again
"For Christ's sake what?" Satan replied. He looked annoyed and fed up with all of Guillermo's questions.
"When can I go back?" Guillermo asked
"When we're done partying" Satan answered in a sarcastic 'you should know this answer by now' voice
"Ok, sounds like fun, lets party then." Guillermo finally said. The phrase Satan was waiting for this whole time. The Devil is a really arrogant, impatient guy, just like the classic businessman he was personified as.
"Wonderful" He said with a menacing look on his face. Satan then clapped and entire roof of the castle turned into a dance floor. Skeletons and gargoyles and demons appeared out of nowhere and were all dancing to the funky music. Guillermo and Satan also got in the groove. It was indeed quite the party, I drank way too much whisky and had a great time, but enough about me, back to our tale of Guillermo.
Guillermo was making his way around the crowded dance floor and he came across another being who appeared to be a human like him. He still had all of his flesh on his bones and was drinking a large glass of liquor. He was tall, jacked, and wore a bandana around his forehead like an idiot.
"yoooo man whats happen'n" he said to Guillermo has he downed more of his liquor.
Guillermo stared at him in confusion. First of all, he wasn't the only mortal Satan brought down to hell, and second, why would Satan bring down this freak?
"Dawg, it's me Tupac" He said with a euphoric smile "you don't recognize me doe? I thought all you mortal's know abou' me. I'm like, famous, dawg"
"Oh yeah Tupac, I remember you, you're that rapper guy, I thought you died." Guillermo said
"Nahhhh man, that ain't me, I ain't dead, I'm just takin' a break from life and chillin' down here with Satan. Don't worry dawg, When I get sick of this place, I'll be back, and all dem basic fags can worship me again."
"Oh alright, enjoy the part then." Guillermo replied.
"Ahh same to you my guy" Tupac said.
There was a brief period of silence in which Tupac chugged two large glasses full of vodka and Guillermo watched in amazement.
"Best thing about hell, no stun from alcohol, I can drink all I want and never collapse eeeeyyyyyy" Tupac said after his third glass.
"Indeed" Guillermo said, who isn't really that into drinking himself.
"Hey, might I ask how you got down here?" He asked the rapper.
"Same as you lil guy. Satan called me down cause he thought I'd be fun to have around, and I just never went back up." He answered.
"That's cool." Guillermo said. "Hey, is Bob Marely down here with you guys?" He then asked
"Naahhhh, no way man, not even close, dat guy be a saint. He's floatin' around Heaven right about now. I mean come on, he's Bob Marely." Tupac answered.
"Indeed." Guillermo said "He was a pretty good guy"
"Yeahhh mann smoke weed ery day" Tupac then said "Only down here I don't need no weed to be euphoric, its greeeaaaat"
"Alright then" Guillermo said as he wandered off, leaving Tupac alone to his euphoric ways.
After an interesting discussion with the one and only Tupac, our friend Guillermo was innocently wandering the dance floor and a beautiful succubus named Noiz, a good friend of mine actually, gracefully came upon him. I've known her for about 5,000 years. She's known for doing shit like this all the time, and she is exceptionally good at seducing. If I recall correctly she died a prostitute and as punishment she is now forced to wander hell, looking for men to seduce as her only form of entertainment. When she finds one she really likes she carries him away to her cave and locks him up. Those poor victims are damned to be her private sex slaves forever. To this day I still don't think Satan has found out about this, but occasionally he wonders what happens when certain beings go missing, and those are usually the ones Noiz has locked up.
Anyway, enough about her, this is how her encounter with Guillermo went. Noiz had been lurking this party since the beginning. She's not always invited, but she always shows up, looking for her next victims. She took a fancy to Guillermo because he was one of the few humans there who still had flash on his bones. Noiz hadn't fucked nice fleshy human cock in quite some time, so she was particularly interested. She started by lightly tapping Guillermo on the shoulder with her soft hand. Guillermo felt a chill run down his spine. He turned around to find the most beautiful creature he had ever seen nudging up against him. Her long, straight black hair flowed down to her waist, with bangs on her forehead. Her skin was pale like a human. She had demon-like batwings and a tail that waved around as she moved. She wore spiked armor on her torso that was low cut to show her belly and exposed her large breasts that bounced up and down as she continued to nudge Guillermo. Below her stomach another piece of skimpy clothe that you mortals would probably think looked like a bikini bottom covered her lower half, showing her long, smooth legs. Covering her feet were two spiky, thigh-high boots. This was truly a sight for Guillermo to behold. He listened as she spoke in a soft voice
"Heyy there big guy, who do I have the pleasure of meeting on this fine evening in hell."
"I'm Guillermo" He said, very calm and very collected.
She continued with and "mmm" and rubbed her perky breasts up against Guillermo's chest. She was a bit taller than him. Guillermo never felt anything more sensational in his life. "this is way better than touhou pics" he thought. Next, Noiz went behind him and put a hand on Guillermo's right arm and began to softly rub him.
"You must be a strong guy" She said to him
"Well, yeah back on Earth I used to work out every day" he responed, which was a total lie.
"I haven't met a man as attractive as you in all of hell" She whispered, her mouth very close to his ear.
"Really?" Guillermo blushed a lil, he was totally falling for this succubus.
Noiz then moved in front of Guillermo stuck a hand in between her cleavage and rubbed it around. Guillermo was dying at the sight of it.
"Why don't we ditch this party and head back to my place?" she said in a seductive voice as she touched her breasts.
There was no way Guillermo could say no to this, and as he agreed Noiz picked him up from behind and flew him away on her wings. The two of them soared over the wasteland of hell. She held Guillermo under him, pressing her soft chest up against his back, holding her arms around his chest. Guillermo really enjoyed this part, and was looking forward to getting to their destination, completely oblivious to the potential threat in front of him.
The two of them landed in front of Noiz's cave. It didn't look all that inviting to Guillermo, but he didn't care because he was too excited to get some of this demon's booty. Noiz gently pulled Guillermo by the hand down into her lair, leading the way through the dark depths. Guillermo couldn't see where he was going but he was assured by Noiz, who was leading the way with her night vision. Finally they made it down to Noiz's chambers in the bottom of the cave. Noiz clapped and the lights went on. They were in small chasm far underneath the ground with only a bed and some candles. They both knew what was going down. Noiz wrapped her demon tail around Guillermo and began unbuckling his beat when
I figure I'd spare you the sweet details of what these two horny animals did in that room and get back to the story. You're Welcome.
After a long night of enjoyable sex Guillermo woke up bound in chains in a cage in the corner of the room. He was tired and confused.
"Guess where you're going?" Noiz said as she liked her fingers seductively.
"Aw crap" Guillermo said
"I'm gonna lock you up and throw you away with my other boys" She said as she stared at him. Her eyes turned cold and demonic, no longer sensual and luring, the way Guillermo liked it.
"and then when I wanna play with you, I'll pull you back out and we can have some fun again." She said as she teased Guillermo, squishing her boobs with her hands.
"I bet you want some more of this" She said "Don't worry, we will do this again" She reassured him.
This was it. Guillermo thought. I done fucked up. I was lured in by this demon's beauty and now I'll pay the price by rotting in a cage in hell for the rest of eternity. If I'm lucky she'll remember me and maybe fuck me once or twice and that's all. I wish I could go back to my Touhou right now, he thought.
Just then a load thundering voice was heard echoing through the room. "GUILLERMOOOOO, WHERE HAVE YOU RUN OFF TO? DON'T THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE ME." The walls of the cave shook as it spoke.
"Aw shit" Noiz said
Guillermo sat there confused and afraid.
"I'M COMING FOR YOU GUILLERMO" the voice said.
"Aw crap" Guillermo thought. First a demon wants to lock me away as her sex object, and now a monstrous voice is after me, this place really is hell, he thought.
"DON'T THINK YOU CAN HIDE, I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE" the voice then said
Guillermo blinked and he and Noiz were standing in front of Satan, side by side, both of them with hands bound behind their backs in metal chains. Noiz was completely naked. Guillermo liked this.
Satan got up from his lounge chair and stared at the two of them from behind his dark sunglasses. He was still in the embodiment of a sly American businessman.
"Well well, what do we have here…?" he asked rhetorically, then continued
Satan was angry and he looked ready to punish the two of them
"You two appear to be having some fun… without me."
Oh God, what is he implying?! Guillermo thought.
"Relax, relax, I'm just kidding. As if I'd ever be interested in the likes of Noiz" He said, smirking at her. Noiz looked disappointed by this. She tries to impress every male but for some reason Satan just won't fall for her.
"But you have been up to no good, haven't ya" He stared into Noiz's eyes the way a teacher frowns at a student about to be given punishment for misbehavior.
He then took Noiz's left tit in his hand, squeezed it, and slowy lifted it up, while keeping eye contact.
"You've been using these to lure in my party guests, haven't ya?" he said to her.
A look of resistance was on her face. She didn't appear to be enjoying this. Satan must have quite the cold touch.
Noiz didn't answer.
Noiz's breasts were large enough that Satan could bring the one in his hand all the way up to her face. She appeared to be cringing. He then let go and Noiz gave out a loud sigh of relief. Satan took a step back and looked at Guillermo.
"Ah Guillermo, I know it's hard to resist temptation sometimes, but I really thought better of you. I can't bring you to parties if you're just gonna get lured away by every floating pair of tits that happens to come your way." Satan said in a lighter tone. He sounded more disappointed than angry.
"Yeah, well, what can I say, this demon strikes my fancy" Guillermo replied.
"They all do" Satan answered sarcastically
"Indeed" Guillermo agreed.
Satan's face then changed from a stern expression of disappointment to a jovial one.
"You really are a funny one, Guillermo, I'm glad I decided to pull ya down here." He said as he gave out a laugh.
"It's been a lot of fun, but I'm sending you back to Earth, I can't have ya sleeping with all my demons every night."
Guillermo blushed.
"alright, I'll be sending you off then, right back to where you were, fapping to your pathetic cartoon girls. I really hope you enjoyed getting with an actually one, it'll probably be the only one you'll ever get." Satan continued, laughing.
"Wait!" Guillermo interrupted
"Yes?" Satan said
"What are you going to do with Noiz once I'm gone?" Guillermo asked?
"I don't know, probably rape her and then send her back on her way" Satan gave out a devious smile as he said it. He grinned at Noiz who tried to look away.
"No, I don't like that plan!" Guillermo said. "Although Noiz did try to tie me up, I love her and I don't want us to be separated." Guillermo said firmly.
"wow, mortal, you have some guts to defy Satan himself." He said
Guillermo just stood firm, not giving any reply.
"I like you, Guillermo, I knew you would be a fun guest to have here. No one's ever had the balls to defy me like that, so I'll give in to ya, how about this, you can take Noiz back with you to the mortal world. I have no use for her here, all she does is seduce and round up all the men around here, it's quite a pain, actually."
"Hmm, I like this Idea." Guillermo said with a grin.
"Ohh, me too, I'd love to go back to the human world with my new bae." Noiz said.
"Alright, I'll send you back, and Noiz will come with you, I'll give her the persona of a teenage girl to fit in with your life. Her new name shall be Ciel."
"Ciel, I like it, it has a nice feel to it. I'll miss you will I'm gone, Satan." Noiz said as she blew him a kiss.
"Bye, thanks for all the fun." Guillermo said
Satan clapped and the two of them returned to Mortal Earth. When the two returned, Noiz, now named Ciel, moved in with an unsuspecting family in the faraway land of Virginia, and Guillermo stayed in New York. Guillermo introduced his Ciel to his humble group of friends over skype, and the two of them continue to wreck havoc in the calls to this very day.