Before the story starts a warning. Many of the thoughts Kim has are based on real life experiences. Do not, under any circumstances, belief that what Kim is doing is the right thing. It is not a happy story, and if you can I advice you to make sure this will never happen to you.

If you do happen to find yourself thinking in similar patterns. Talk to people. Seriously, it can save your life.

The thinking patterns may be based on real life experiences, but none of the occurrences actually took place.

Will you take care of me?

It was not often that Kim had been at Rudy's apartment and yet she was familiar with it too, because Rudy lived there. She had known Rudy for only two years and yet she was more familiar with him than with Ty who had trained her for over four years. Rudy understood her in his weird way and would always try to help her. He was basically her second father. So there was no one else in Seaford she'd ever ask this, but with Rudy she was willing to do this. She'd been thinking more and more often about things like this since lately. What if… What if… It was driving her mad, all the things that could happen. So much had happened already.

It had started at the tournament. Her mother and sister would come and Kim was really excited, but as Milton just lost from some guy at breaking boards and her round was coming up they still hadn't arrived. She told Rudy who asked for some time with his entire crew.

'They said they would come,' Kim said. 'They were really excited to see me do karate.'

'Kim, if you want I could do the vertical peg kick,' Jack offered.

'That would be really great,' Kim said. 'I just don't understand how come they're not here.'

'Are you up to it?' asked Rudy.

'Yeah. I'm just worried.'

'I'm sure they'll be fine,' Rudy said before going over to the judges to inform them of the switch. Jack easily won the vertical peg kick, but still Kim's mother and sister weren't there.

'Kim Crawford?' Kim looked up and saw a police officer. 'Could I have a word with you?' This couldn't mean anything good. It never could.

'What is it?' she managed to say.

'Your mother and sister were in a car accident. They didn't survive it. I'm sorry for your loss.' All the air was knocked out of Kim's lungs, all she could do was nod at the officer to make him leave. Her friends were staring at her. Kim didn't know how to feel. They were dead. Both of them were dead… Milton broke the silence by saying her name.

'Kim, if you want we can leave,' Rudy offered. Somewhere inside the tears were coming, but they were overpowered by one thing: Anger. Anger at the driver who had hit their car, anger at her mother for doing this to her, anger at the officer who told her the news, anger at herself for wanting them here in the first place, anger at the world for doing this to her.

'No!' she snapped and put on the protective wear. Her opponent seemed huge, but Kim didn't notice, she needed to let the anger out and in a rage of flying kicks and punches her mind slowly blanked out. She took the punches like they were nothing, she gave them like she wanted to destroy every bone in his body and with one loud bang she flipped him and left him in pain on the ground. They were dead, that was it.

That had not been it. Her dad had been completely broken. Kim had stayed home from school for a month, to help her father and herself cope. The funeral had come and gone, the grievance counselor had come and gone. The only bright spot in the day was the karate training where her friends didn't treat her like she was a fragile piece of glass ready to break, but a strong woman dealing with a lot. At night she would dream of the crash. Even though she didn't know the details she imagined how it must have been for them. After a month she had to go to school again and it was as if everything was numbed. Everything was different. The rhythm came back, but it wasn't the same. Her thoughts weren't the same, her feelings weren't the same.

The guys at the dojo understood this and they let her talk when she wanted to, they let her be quiet when she wanted, but they kept an eye on her and kept her sane as their lives went on and with them her. As they kept goofing around, she would feel a little lighter, a little less numb. After a while she would even crack a smile. The cheer squad had kicked her out because she didn't smile that much anymore, and so Kim depended on her friends at the Bobby Wasabi dojo, who were there for her through everything.

The counselor had said that she was coping normally and when Kim had requested to deal with it herself the counselor had complied. The moment the counselor wasn't watching them anymore Kim started to answer the questions that had been raging in her mind, what was going to happen if… What if… What if her dad would be gone too?

The answer to that question was simple, she would go to her Aunt Anne in New York, away from her friends. This was something Kim just could not accept and so when her aunt came by she they had talked about it.

'I understand that you don't want to leave your friends, Kim,' Anne had said. She was the best Aunt Kim could wish for. 'Unfortunately I wont be able to move to Seaford, but I really see how much you need your friends and this place.'

'Isn't there a way to assure that I can stay in Seaford?' Kim asked.

'There is one. Your dad will have to approve too. But if you know someone we can trust here in Seaford who would be willing to take you in were such a thing to happen, all four of us could sign a contract that would make this person your guardian too.' Later that night Anne had talked to Kim's father and once Kim had said that she really wanted that her father had signed the contract, knowing his daughter would choose the right person. Anne first wanted to talk to this person.

This person was none other than her sensei Rudy. Kim rang the bell and it didn't take long for the man himself to open the door.

'Kim, what are you doing here?' he asked.

'Can I talk to you for a moment?'

'Sure!' He immediately made way for her to come in and told her to sit on the couch. When he asked if she wanted tea she told him that she wouldn't be long and just wanted to ask him something. Rudy immediately understood and sat down next to her on the couch.

'Rudy, there is a chance that my dad will not be able to take care of me. In the past few weeks I've realized that I depend a lot on you and the guys. If my dad would be gone too I would have to go to my aunt in New York and I don't think I would be able to get over it then. The problem is that if I want to stay in Seaford I will need a guardian I the Seaford area. So I wanted to ask you… Will you be my guardian?' Rudy seemed truly shocked by this.

'Kim, I'm… surprised. I mean… I know I'm your sensei and we're friends, but do you really want me to be your guardian. I- I've never had to take care of someone.'

'You wont need to take care of me. I just need an adult to live at the same place as I do. I can cook, I can clean, I can take care of myself. I just need a place. There's no one I trust more than you, Rudy. There's no one else I would even think of asking.'

'This is really an honor. But I'll need some time to think it over,' Rudy said. Kim nodded.

'Take all the time you want. I'll be on my way now. See you at practice.' With that Kim left. As the door closed behind her she let the thoughts occupy her mind. The feeling of being broken and rejected overcame her. He hadn't wanted her. He didn't want her. Was she really that bad? She would take up space. She was a girl. She would be his daughter, that couldn't be the greatest situation for Rudy. Or maybe it wasn't just the situation. She was high energy, she had a temper, she broke a lot of things, she stayed out late, she never called when she got home late. That couldn't be something people liked.

The guys complained a lot about her attitude too. Not lately, but that was because they pitied her. Being pitied was even worse than being seen as just another pretty face. People would lie to you to make you feel better, people would stay with you even if they absolutely hated you.

Was that going on right now? How did the guys see her at the moment? It had been a month and none of them had complained, but she should have gotten on with her normal life. But she couldn't. Why was she incapable of going on, why was she so weak? Kim didn't want to be weak, she hated people who were weak.

She had to get home and fix her dad some food, for he couldn't cook. After that she would do some chores. She would never be as good as her mother at any of these things. Kim just wasn't made for things like that. Food sometimes burnt, things never were really clean, she had to get better at things like this. She would need them. Why would anyone her if she couldn't do these basic things?

Kim's thoughts were raging through her mind with each step until she finally reached her front door. She locked it behind her. The house didn't even smell like her mother and sister anymore. Kim put her keys in the basket by the door and walked on to the living room. She found her father there, sitting in an armchair. Next to him was a bottle of some sort of liquor. He just lost the love of his life and his first child, it was hard on him. Kim walked over to him and picked up the empty bottle to throw it away. But she accidentally woke her dad up.

'Kim?'

'Hey, dad.'

'Why don't you want me to be your dad?'

'I do want you to be my dad,' Kim said surprised.

'But you still asked that Rudy guy.'

'That's because I never want to leave Seaford.'

'You're lying. You hate me.'

'No, I don't!'

'Yes, you do. You think I'm a drunk idiot who needs to get on with his life.'

'No, I don't, dad.'

'Don't go against me, I'm your father. You're an ungrateful child. You're a shame on the memory of your mother. You are the one who killed her.' Kim ran into the kitchen with the empty bottle still in her hands. She put the bottle with the other glass trash and sat on the counter. She had killed her mother. How could she even be thinking like this? She should be thankful she still had her dad. Her dad wouldn't die, because she wouldn't kill him. She wouldn't kill him like she had killed her mother and her sister.