Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: This is my first finished fanfic so please review. If you were wondering, the fic has been named after that famous line in the movie Jerry McGuire. Enjoy!
Ginny Weasley stood in front of Harry Potter questioningly, wonderingly. It was the day before he would be leaving the Burrow in search of the horcruxes; in search of Voldemort's bane; in search of his own freedom. Mrs. Weasley had already come to terms with the fact that her youngest son would be leaving as well as Hermione and that she would be left with only her youngest daughter to care for. The wedding of Fleur and Bill had passed, the happy couple was now on their honeymoon. And there Ginny stood within her bedroom door frame a furrow in her brow and dark bags under her eyes.
Harry looked her up and down. She was wearing a pair of cloth shorts and a tank top for comfort in the unbearable heat. Her hair was up in a quick bun to keep it off her neck. Glancing inside her room, he saw that she must have been cleaning in the aftermath of the wedding. Half of the floor was covered with various clothes and books while the other half looked oddly naked with nothing on the threadbare carpet.
"Err, Can I speak with you?" Harry asked, somewhat anxious that he would be turned down. She had forgotten about him, about them, perhaps; she was busy; she looked tired. However, Harry's pessimistic thoughts were dashed when Ginny smiled at him understandingly, and she stepped aside for him to enter.
She closed the door behind him, which caught Harry unawares. He was not sure he could handle this pressure so close to Ginny. He walked up to the window in her room and attempted to look out of it, a task made difficult by the fact that the window was boarded up. Harry rocked on his feet nervously, hands in his pockets. Ginny sat down on her own bed, arms crossed.
"Well?" she said.
Harry's mind went racing again. Maybe she really had gotten over him already; perhaps, she did not care that he was leaving tomorrow and only worried about Ron; he had to be kidding himself that she actually cared about what he was going to tell her. But, his brain caught up with his thoughts, remember, remember every time she looked at you during the wedding, and when you first arrived at the Burrow. Remember that longing look she had. The same one that you felt.
"I," Harry choked out. "I felt that maybe we needed to talk just a little before...before tomorrow."
Ginny sat silent, unmoving.
"I know, when we were at Hogwarts, and we...I decided it would be best to...well...if we went our separate ways..."
"Harry," Ginny snapped. "Don't talk to me like that. As if we haven't been good friends, as if we've never been in each others company before. Talk to me. What's on your mind?"
"When we broke up," Harry started again, relieved that she still considered him to be her friend. "It felt natural, at the time, to just leave each other with a sort of unspoken understanding. But now, we've been living in the same house for a good week. It just seems that we should talk about some things."
"Say our final Good-byes, you mean," Ginny stated.
Harry stayed quiet contemplating her use of words and how they felt... "Final" and "Good-bye".
"I, Harry, don't think that is necessary," said Ginny. Harry's heart sank. "I believe that I will see you a lot in the future. Therefore, Final Good-byes are superfluous. I would much rather talk. Just talk about the situation surrounding us, well you, and how it is effecting us."
Harry's heart lightened again. He felt it safe to sit on the bed beside her.
"What? Was I a flesh-eating pirahna before or something?" Ginny said still a bit sternly.
"I just wasn't sure what grounds we stood on," Harry said.
"I thought you were the deciding factor in that?" Ginny questioned.
"I guess you have more of an upperhand in the relationship than I thought," said Harry smiling at her.
Ginny laughed. Finally, Harry thought. Now the air seemed lighter, less tense.
"Well, I suppose the grounds we're on now consist of a soft, lumpy bed. So, what say you?"
On such grounds, Harry felt that he would much rather show her through action what he felt and wanted to convey to her. Her lips were right there, so close. But, to the disappointment of the monster inside him, Harry kept his own lips in check. It would be only too painful to leave her wanting more.
"Ginny, tomorrow I'm leaving to go on some type of quest that I don't even know the end to. My search could go on for years, or for weeks. I could return unharmed or not at all. I want you to know that...well a lot of things..." As he said all this, he looked into her brown eyes, up until that last bit...
"What's the thing you are thinking of right now?" Ginny asked trying to recapture his gaze.
Harry dare not speak aloud what he was thinking just yet. Instead he started with the thing that would hurt him the most.
"I don't want you to feel tied down to me while I'm away. You can go out with whomever you like, whenever. It doesn't matter, just as long as you're happy," Harry said all this rather quickly.
"Well, thank you for giving me permission," Ginny said mischieviously.
Harry smiled a moment at her sarcasm, and then, he told her what was really tearing him up about this particular thought.
"I would hate to imagine you alone in such dark times. What if something happened to someone close to you, and I wasn't there, because I won't be, you know. I can't be there...I can't be here for you, and I don't want you to end up hating me for it."
"Hate you? Harry, I..."
"Wait, you don't understand quite. I will be gone. And you'll be here. Imagine it. When you think of me, I won't know it. When you want to be held, I will be miles away. When you cry,I won't hear you. Every time you think of me your thoughts will be bitter and full of hatred at my absence. I think it'd be much better...if you moved on, maybe, found someone new."
"No," Ginny said simply. "You don't understand, Harry. I can't do that. Not to you, not to myself. It would all be fake. If someone else held me, I'd cry double the tears for your touch. There's no way I would put myself, or you, through that." Ginny's voice had started to get higher now, and Harry's hand instinctively reached out to her. Luckily, however, she did not notice as she turned her head away at that very moment. She waited a minute before saying in a calmer voice and turning back to him. "Besides you act as if every moment of my waking hours will be dedicated to thoughts of you. As if I will lock myself in my room and think only of the one and only Harry Potter until your return. No. I will continue my life, however much I might miss you."
Harry sighed not with disappointment at her decision but with joy. He might not lose her after all.
Taking a steadying breath, Harry braced himself for his next words to Ginny. "There is one more thing I want to tell you. But..." Ginny's eyes bored into his. "But I can't say it just yet. It wouldn't be right. The timing is all wrong, and...and I know all my resolves would be shattered if I told you. But it's better this way."
Ginny looked down at her clumsily folded hands. She raised one in order to push some fallen strands of hair behind her ear. Harry saw that she was shaking.
"Ginny, you mean so much to me. You are amazing. I can't understand why you would lower your standards in order to be with me, but I am so grateful to have you." Ginny laughed at this. "I'm serious," said Harry. "It seems so unreal to me that you let me kiss you after the last Quidditch match. You are a dream come true. The only dream I think I've ever had come true. And even though, this dream isn't quite what it should be, I feel so lucky to have memories of you with me. I never want to leave your side. I want to be with you forever. But, you know, I can't. Not today."
He wanted to kiss her so badly. He knew he could make that broken look on her face disappear with just one kiss. But he also knew that he couldn't. Exhausted from holding back from all the things he wished he could say and do he leaned in towards Ginny and wrapped his arms around her. Ginny's exhaustion from holding back seemed just as strong, for she met him in the middle of the embrace.
They held each other for a long time. Ginny began to cry slow, deliberate tears. She understood why he wanted to be with her, and why he couldn't; why he wanted to kiss her, and why he couldn't; and what he wanted to tell her but couldn't. It was all too much to bear.
"Harry, it doesn't have to be this way you know," said Ginny still holding onto him. "I could come with you, Ron and Hermione. It wouldn't be a big deal. I..."
"No, you won't," Harry said firmly. "It's different with you Ginny. I can't let you come with me, because I...I Lo...arrrrgg...You mean to much to me." It was tearing Harry up that he couldn't tell her. Not now, he kept telling himself. Now was not the time. He would have to wait until he came back. "Our future together isn't now."
Her feelings were wound up tight inside her, and she released them as she felt Harry release his onto her through their embrace. In the last few moments of holding each other, they held their breath and felt each other, stuck in the moment never wanting to let go.
When they finally did let go, Ginny fell back onto the pillows on her bed. Harry imitated her and let himself fall onto the cushy mattress beside her. Both were exhausted from so many thoughts, fears, and feelings that couldn't be acted out. Neither spoke for a long time. Both stayed trapped in their own thoughts for an hour occasionally taking time to listen to the other breathing beside them.
"You know Harry," Ginny broke the silence. "I was afraid before we started dating that maybe I didn't really like...that maybe I had had some strange infatuation with you since I met you that I never let go. When we started dating, I knew in my heart it wasn't true. I really did like you. I didn't realize that it had grown to something more until the day of Dumbledore's funeral. Even though I understood why we couldn't keep dating, it still hurt, a lot. That's when I realized you had broken my heart and that you would be the only one that could mend it again. That's when I understood that I...how much I liked you."
Harry didn't need her to say it out loud to understand what Ginny was trying to tell him. It was same thing he had just tried to tell her.
They began to speak again after that long, peaceful hour, about where Harry was going, what he was doing, what he anticipated. And then they talked about Ron and Hermione, Lupin and Tonks, Fleur and Bill, and then marriage. They imagined their life after Voldemort's defeat: their marriage, their jobs, their children. It made them forget about their worries and think about the future; their perfect future together. It made it easier somehow.
Harry did not leave Ginny's room until 1 am that night. He had spent 13 hours in Ginny's room just being with her and talking. They both decided it was time for him to go when they heard a creaking outside Ginny's door. Harry was sure it was Mrs. Weasley listening in. Neither could recall if they had noticed her at the door before, perhaps she had been doing routine checks throughout the day. They did not know.
When he was sure Mrs. Weasley had gone back downstairs, Harry crept quietly out of Ginny's room. He stole one last glance at her curled up on her bed ready to fall asleep with a small smile playing around her lips, before he closed the door and headed for Ron's room.
The next day, Harry, Ron, and Hermione finished getting together all the things they might need on their journey. They said their good-byes to the Weasleys. Molly hugged each of them in turn, while Arthur, Fred, George, and Charlie shook their hands. Ginny hugged Ron and Hermione tightly and then turned to Harry who leaned in towards her. Harry grabbed Ginny's hand and whispered softly in her ear "I'll see you soon." Ginny nodded, looking down at her feet. Harry saw a single tear fall out of her long eyelashes. Harry's heart stopped at the sight of this.
Suddenly he wrapped his arms around Ginny in a tight hug. He whispered softly in her ear again: "I Love You." Finally, she looked up, into his eyes.
"I Love You, too," she choked out, tears now falling freely. But these were not tears of sorrow, these were tears of joy.
Harry kissed her full on the lips, and she kissed him back. When their faces finally parted, Harry picked up Ginny around the waist and spun her around, and then began kissing her again, once more, twice more, the third was the last.
"Well mate?" asked Ron a bit weakly.
"Harry?" Hermione also questioned.
Harry gave Ginny's hand one last squeeze before walking out the door with Ron and Hermione.
He left feeling that he had done the right thing. What if they never saw each other again? Now, she would know, no matter what, that he loved her.
