Naruto contemplates what he would say to Hinata… if only he could.
You used to watch me, but now I watch you.
I follow your footsteps, I touch what you touch, I follow your gaze and look at what you're looking at. And I see things that I would have never realized before about you, things I should have realized long ago. Your footsteps take you to magnificent places I never knew, you feel the world beneath you that I never felt, and you see the more beauty in one glance than I've ever seen. I feel closer to you than I've ever felt to anybody before… but now we're as far apart as we've always been- or- no, we're even further.
You used to watch me, but now I watch you.
Before I even tried watching you, I felt your eyes on my back. I heard your breaths on my shadow and your heartbeat in my trail. I wish now that you could have decided to grab my elbow, back then, and spun me around and caught my attention from the frontline, out of the shadows, more than just watching. I wish that if you had done that back then that that would have made me focus on you. Then maybe we could have stopped the stalking acts and just watched each other.
You used to watch me, but now I watch you.
I want to do more than watch you. I'm not as shy as you, not usually as quiet in my longing. I want to grab you and spin you around and kiss you. I want to walk along side you and slip my hand into yours. I want to swing you around when something good happens and wipe away your tears when you cry. And trust me, I've seen you while you're happy and while your sad, and I wish I could do more than watch. I want to tell you I love you. I want to, and I want you to smile with tears in your eyes and blush scarlet like you used to. But I can't do that, Hinata. Not anymore.
You used to watch me, but now I watch you.
See, you used to watch me. I took for granted thinking that you'd always watch me. And now I'm watching you while you look at… him. There's no reason why you shouldn't. I want to grab you from behind and kiss you- he did it first. I want to spin you around and wipe tears from your face- he did it first. I want to look into your eyes and tell you I love you- he did it first. He still does it. He let you know he was watching- let you know before I knew I even wanted to. And, tentatively at first, you're eyes began to stray from me, stray to him. The saddest part is, that's when I started to notice you.
You used to watch me, but now I watch you.
Still, he won, he noticed you before you noticed him. He deserves you more than I do. More than I ever did. So I'll try to be patient when I look where your eyes look and see him. I'll keep my hands, my lips, my love to myself. But my eyes can't stop looking at you, they just can't get enough. It's not like you'll ever catch me looking anyways.
You used to watch me, but now I watch you.
Every day you talk with him and laugh with him. Every day you caress his face or his hand gently, turning that slight shade of pink that I remember so well. Whenever you're without it, I think you look to pale. Every day you give him a soft kiss goodnight, and every night before going inside you glance back after him. Normally, the beast within me could not handle seeing you look at someone else like that.
You used to watch me, but now I watch you.
But then I remember the times when he's not around. At the point where the sun dips it's feet into the horizon, you lay a flower by the grave. You sit for a moment and stare down at the ground, then you stand and kiss where my name is engraved in that worn stone. A tear shining off the monument is proof alongside the flowers you leave that let me know you wish you could still watch me. Every day you visit the ramen shop, once a week you actually stop for lunch. You order all of my favorite dishes and the workers know you by familiar name, and that's proof that you used to watch me and you wanted to be beside me- like I want to be beside you.
You used to watch me, but now I watch you.
I watch you, Hinata, when you're alone. Sometimes you sit alone and look off into space and smile, and I want to know what you're thinking about. Sometimes you sit alone and that smile slips and tears run down your face, and I want to wrap my arms around you and hold you until you can smile again. But I'm a ghost, my hands slips right through you, all I can do is watch. I'm tired of just watching. I want you to watch me again, I need your eyes to focus on me again.
I'm tired of this feeling of being without you.
I'm tired of this longing to be with you.
I'm tired of wishing you could see me.
But… I'm not tired of watching you.
I'm not tired of walking in your footsteps.
I'm not tired of feeling what you feel.
I'm not tired of looking where you look.
I'm not tired of loving you.
You used to watch me, but now I watch you.
One day, though, we'll be together again. Then our eyes can finally meet with mutual love. Then you can watch me, and I'll watch you, too. And our eyes will never get enough.
"I watched you out from your window. I watched you, you didn't even know. Listen, while you're sleeping, put a record on- you'll never even know I'm gone…" -Jonezetta
A/N: Inspired by that song by Jonezetta, I was thinking about how Hinata always watches Naruto, and how the situation could be reversed. Then I was like, well, there's no scenario where Naruto would want Hinata but she would have moved on enough to not want him. So the only thing I could think of was he had to have died and she then moved on to (insert your favorite Hina pairing man here). Anyways, it did not turn out like I wanted it, but ah well. Please review with kindness, kthnx
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