Disclaimer: I own nothing but the air I breathe, oh wait, even that is borrowed.
A/N: Everyone's ages in here are roughly the same as in canon, so that's why Franky, Robin and Brook are postgraduates. There should be no pairings but good ol' fun as I really am just writing it off my head as I go along. Zoro still has both eyes. For now. Franky doesn't have the mechanized arms yet, so he looks like himself pre-two years gap, but he does have wearable robotic arms…and something like Tony Stark's suit.
Since this is modern AU, I took away all the DF powers and substituted them with more 'realistic' ones. The only exceptions are the characters' appearances (aka. Brook and Chopper) as I don't want to 'humanize' anyone and subtract away from their character essence. Timeline-wise, this runs along post Punk Hazard arc.
University couldn't be that bad, or such was the previous consensus between the nine students, most of whom were strangers, stuck in the dean's office in varying shades of emotions. To say the atmosphere was weird was an understatement.
Two of them sat in a corner at the back where all the weeping and tragic mumblings were coming from. The only two girls sat somewhere in the middle, one was absorbed in her book while the other beside her had buried her head in her arms on the table, both of them completely ignoring the guy lying in a pool of blood at their feet.
Someone with peacock blue hair and a long cowlick was whistling happily in front of some snoring moss green haired guy. Sitting at the very front row was a lean young man in a straw hat looking at the last person (if he could be called one) with riveting fascination, eyes lighting up with stars every time the skeleton so much as moved a 'muscle'.
Surprisingly, the first to break the strange cacophony of noises was the skeleton guy. He shifted nervously, fiddling with what looked to be a wooden violin case.
"Um...Pardon me, but could you not stare at me in such a...way?" He said to Straw Hat. "It's really making me quite uneasy down to my bones."
"But you're so cool! And I've never seen a real live moving, talking carcass before!"
Blue Cowlick snorted, turning to look at them. "Straw Hat Boy, that's a skeleton, not a carcass."
"REALLY! That makes it even cooler!"
At this, Green Snoring Guy woke up, rubbed the sleep out of his bleary eyes and took his first look around the room. "Oi. What's up with the crying reindeer and the skeleton?"
The wailing paused for a moment, followed by a choked hiccup and watery words. "I don't wanna be expelled-I had nothing to do with this-Dear Lord and Sister in Heaven please take my poor warrior's soul and do whatever you want-just save me I don't want to be expelled!" The person who said this finished with another huge hiccup and swiped at his long nose several times in vain. Beside him, the reindeer burst out in traumatized sobs.
"Uoooouuuuuhhh! I promised Doctorine I'd pass med school and become a good doctor! And now I end up h-here...Doctorine! I'm sho sowwy I f-f-" He took in a shaking gulp of air and broke into fresh sobs all over again. "Fwaaaiiiiled youuuuuu-Uuuuuooooouuhh!"
"Jeez what's up with you two? It's like a funeral party in here." Blue Cowlick said, digging a finger into his ear in an attempt to rid it of the ringing caused by the noisy criers.
"You're all so noisy. What are you all doing here anyway?" Green Snoring Guy asked, which caused Blue Cowlick to look at him strangely.
"Well, we are in detention. All I did was walk out of the bathroom and this crazed bitch screamed at me calling me a pervert. Wonder what's got her panties in a twist."
Green Snoring Guy gave him an exasperated look. "Uh. Yeah. Says the guy who's only wearing his boxers-Wait what did you say you were here for again?"
"For being called a pervert?"
"No the other part, what's this place again?"
Now it was Blue Cowlick's turn to stare at him in exasperation. "I said we're here for detention-"
"Huh!" Alarmed, Green Snoring Guy bolted upright from where he was slouching in his seat.
"What, you didn't even know what you're here for?" Blue Cowlick said, looking at him incredulously.
Green Snoring Guy let out a groan and slapped his palm over his face before uttering some blush-worthy swear words. "Man...And I was thinking this was just too perfect a hangout for a nap."
Hearing this, Blue Cowlick started laughing like a maniac on laughing gas. "Dude, seriously?"
Green Snoring Guy growled at him with one visible glaring eye behind his fingers, which only made him laugh harder.
Leaning his head back on folded arms, Green Snoring Guy glowered in irritation. "What. I thought this was the student lounge."
Finally sobering up a bit, Blue Cowlick receded into light chuckles. "Does this even look anything like a student lounge?"
"Hmph. I just assumed they were low on budget," Green Snoring Guy began to speak but was cut off by a new voice coming from the floor.
"Idiot probably got lost on his way to the bathroom and ended up in the dean's office."
A sharp tension flooded the atmosphere instantly.
Green Snoring Guy's eyes were slits of demon black. "What. Was. That."
The guy who had been lying in a pool of blood stood up and started brushing the lint off of his clothes, which wasn't helping much due to the spreading blossom of scarlet on his light blue shirt. "I said, you probably got lost. Only an idiot would have gotten lost and by the looks of you. I say for sure you did."
The already dark aura surrounding Green Snoring Guy steadily grew blacker. "Shut up Curly Brow, you're the one who's an idiot, covered in blood and all," he said and then broke into a mocking grin. "Heh. Probably got your skinny ass kicked."
Curly Brow's back stiffened ramrod straight as the temperature in the room started climbing several degrees higher.
"What's that I hear? I didn't know Marimos could talk. And this!" He gestured wildly to the front of his bloodied shirt with a proud puff of his chest. "A loser like you would never understand the beautiful horror of love!" Mid-sentence he abruptly spun round to gaze passionately at the reading girl who was outright ignoring him. "This feeling, this red symbol of passion staining my clothes, it all proves that this dark Venus before me is real!" Finishing his heated speech, he dissolved into a mumbled series of "mellorines" and "heaven".
"Che! More like evidence of utter stupidity."
"What did you say Marimo Idiot Head!"
"Don't call me that Ero Curly Brow!"
"You looking for a fight to mess up that already ugly mug of yours Seaweed Head?"
"Hell I'm bringing the fight to your sorry ass you Dumb Blond!"
"Shut up both of you!" A voice, female this time, silenced them both in its suppressed rage.
The girl who had had her head buried in her arms the whole time now sat up, fixing them with a glare that blazed wilder than her coppery hair.
Curly Brow let out a squeal of delight and a spray of bright red, proceeding to collapse into a familiar heap on the floor.
The dark haired girl shifted her book down from her nose an inch, peering at the amusing scene. "I thought he'd never be quiet once he got off again."
Copperhead Girl glanced at Dark Girl with an annoyed huff.
"You didn't have to follow me here you know," she said in a low voice.
Dark Girl responded with a vague smile. "No, I didn't have to." When all she got was a glare she chuckled softly and carried on speaking. "Although it's unsurprising that you're here, what was it this time?"
A harsh bark of laughter came from Copperhead Girl. Smirking, she looked straight at Dark Girl. "Hmm, I thought you know everything?"
"Nope, kindly enlighten me," she said with the same unreadable smile.
"Oi," Green Snoring Guy tried to interrupt but the two girls carried on their conversation as if he wasn't there.
Copperhead Girl let out an exasperated sigh and slumped forwards onto the table once more. "Ugh. God forbid I ever take this module."
Dark Girl raised one delicate eyebrow for her to indicate further. A muffled sound escaped Copperhead Girl who currently had her entire head covered by her long hair.
"What's that? I didn't quite catch that," Dark Girl prompted.
Lifting her head up, Copperhead Girl groaned in frustration. "My lab partner sucks," she ended up saying and banged her head on the table.
Green Snoring Guy was starting to think she was doing it on purpose.
"What did he do this time?" Dark Girl asked curiously.
Copperhead Girl squeezed her eyes shut looking like she was trying to will away the horrible memory. Opening them, she looked up at Dark Girl with a tired expression.
"Remember the last time I said at least there was no way in hell he could ever top that time when he nearly exploded that test tube of acid in my face?"
"Whoa, now that's just whack," Blue Cowlick piped in whilst Copperhead Girl carried on talking.
"Guess what, all that smoke you saw coming from the science lab? That wasn't professor Smoker, that was all him. The idiot almost succeeded in burning down the entire lab. And noooo, he wasn't the one to land in detention, I was! And all because he didn't even know what the hell had happened because he had fallen asleep. Fallen asleep. What kind of idiot does that when heating up. Dangerous. Chemicals. In. The. Lab." Copperhead Girl growled out, punctuating each word with a violent fist at the table towards the end.
"The most embarrassing thing is he is the one with the top marks in that class! Even when the teacher hates our guts! God I'm starting to hate all my module choices! As if having your Glaciology elective professor come onto you during class isn't awkward enough, I have to have such a hard ass for Volcanology and a total psychopath in Fulminology! Now I'm stuck with this idiot senior who clearly enjoys playing with the Bunsen burner way too much and somehow manages to escape death by the holy fact that he's the Seismology professor's favourite." She ended her rant almost panting and the riled up anger appeared to almost physically evaporate from her skin.
Someone's laughter met the end of her outburst and she snapped her head towards the sound in the direction of Straw Hat.
"That guy sounds like fun," he said with a wide grin. "Your lab partner is it?"
Copperhead Girl scrunched up her nose in disgust. "He's just…insufferable."
"Wait, I thought you were studying Climatology and Meteorology?" Dark Girl questioned.
"Yeah, but my ex-professors from my old school wanted me to branch out further into Earth Sciences if I could," Copperhead Girl said, her tone growing quieter from where she sat studying the table. "Like how your professors wanted you to branch out into World History."
Dark Girl said nothing and merely looked at Copperhead Girl as if contemplating something, but Blue Cowlick let out a low whistle, dissipating the brief silence.
"Wow, I don't get half of what you're studying but I feel your pain. Akainu's pure butt-hurt and Enel is halfway round the moon." He said and then turned to Straw Hat in curiousity. "How did you end up here?"
"Don't know." The frank, two worded answer nearly had everyone bowled over.
An angry cry came from the back of the room sounding like an indignant baby elephant. It took a second for the rest to realize it was the sound of someone forcefully blowing his very long nose.
The nose-blowing culprit raised one quivering arm at Straw Hat, eyes ablaze in fury. "Y-y-you-"
"LIAR!" Reindeer finished off for him in similar angry sobs. "You're a liar! A big fat liar!"
"Well, technically he's not fat, he doesn't have much meat on his bones. Unlike me of course, you can say that I'm nothing but bones!"
This time round, all eyes and ears turned to the skeleton standing at the opposite end of the room. Silence ensued for several long seconds until two screams split it faster than a banana doing a striptease. Apparently, the depressed duo had been too absorbed in crying and hadn't taken much notice of the skeleton until it directly addressed them.
"IT SPOKE! OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD THE THING SPOKE TO ME!" Long Nose shrieked in fear.
"STAY AWAY YOU EVIL SPIRIT! I HAVE A GOOD HEART YOU KNOW! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE ME ALIVE!" Reindeer yelled, backing up against the wall alongside Long Nose.
"Erm, I'm not evil and I'm not a spirit. And I wouldn't know much about hearts seeing as how I don't have one. But it doesn't mean I'm heartless, my music comes from the bottom of my soul with heart!" Skeleton Guy cried out louder with every word and removed his violin from its case. "Allow me to demonstrate."
The first few notes blew everyone's breaths away and woke up Curly Brow who had been lying motionless. What followed next was something akin to a dream, albeit a beautiful one which flowed seamlessly through their souls, interlinked by music, and in that moment for once there was true peace in the room the first time the nine had gathered there.
"T-that was beautiful!" Blue Cowlick said, trying to hide his sniffles. Reindeer and Long Nose had come up from the back of the room and were now standing in their midst staring up at Skeleton Guy with awe in their eyes.
"Oi, Straw Hat, you're drooling on me." Curly Brow said from the floor.
"Sorry," Straw Hat muttered absently with all his attention fixated on Skeleton Guy. "You are amazing!"
"Why thank you, I'd blush if I could though I don't have any cheeks."
"You are! You're much more awesome than that expression on Sengoku's face when he caught the three of us sneaking around his dorm raiding his kitchen and trying on all his clothes while parading around his full length mirror!"
The room went quiet for three full seconds. Then, all hell broke loose.
"YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!" Long Nose screeched, pulling a slingshot out of his trousers' pocket and pointing it directly at Straw Hat's nose.
"I DON'T WANNA BE EXPELLED! NOOOOOOO!" Reindeer wailed over and over continuously. The two of them began chasing Straw Hat around the room, crashing over tables and tumbling over chairs in their frenzy.
"Wait-Stop-Everyone-" Skeleton Guy tried to intervene with no success.
"How dare you step on my face you stupid Marimo!" Curly Brow catapulted upright in a burning haze of fury.
"It was an accident-whatever, you were asking for it you Blond Bimbo!" Green Snoring Guy yelled back.
"Oh now you dare to hit my face!"
"You kicked me first dumbo!"
"Um…Everyone please, calm down…"
"I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE EXPELLED! I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY PH.D YET!"
"EAT THIS STRAW HAT! SOGEKING POISON APPLE DUST!"
"ARGHHHHHHH! IT'S SO SOUR! YOU SHOT IT IN MY MOUTH!"
"Oh God why does this keep happening to me today…" Copperhead Girl moaned, cradling her head in surrender to the chaos around her. Beside her, Dark Girl went back to reading her book with a small smile on her face that wasn't there in the first place when it had all started.
End Note: I put Nami to studying Earth Sciences instead of Climatology because I couldn't think of any major character who has something loosely related to weather except for that old man on that Sky Island. Anyway, it all falls under the same main category so please pardon me.
Tell me if anyone is OOC and I swear I will rewrite the entire chapter 1000 times to kill off the OOC-ness. This is my first stab at writing the characters so I'm a little nervous. I am guilty of dramatizing their reactions and characterizations a bit to fit in with the story.