One hell of a fucking miracle

It'd been a few weeks since Gallagher had left. Publically, Mickey was able to play it off like everything was hunky dory and he was happy as hell with his pregnant wife. Privately, he was still as devastated as the day the ginger had left him, had left everything to, as Lip had so eloquently put it, 'get his ass shot off in who-gives-a-fuckistan.' Sure, he'd had Mandy to talk to now on the rare occasion that Terry was gone and they were home alone without one of the other stooges around, but that didn't make losing Ian any easier. The Gallagher clan was in a fucking frenzy still looking for him, still hoping he hadn't gone through with it, but all their searching so far had turned up nada.

That morning, Mickey woke up to an empty bed as usual, but something was off. It wasn't by any stretch of the imagination out of the ordinary for Svetlana to be off selling handies at 9AM, but it was strange that she'd left a note. She never left a note.

Mickey,

I am sorry, but I go. This morning I lost baby, I had to run. I know if Terry catched me, he kill me. I know you not love me, and I am sorry you had to marry me, but baby gone, so I gone. I made note for Terry so he know, but it say something different. It say only I lost baby, but not rest that I know you no love me, because he kill you if I say that. Serina maked divorce paper from internet, I sign all so you free. Marriage not marriage any more.

до свидания,

Светлана

As soon as he finished reading the note, he broke into a cold sweat, unable to say anything. Wiping his brow, he looked under the crinkled note to find all the papers she'd mentioned, signed, sealed and dated. In his 4 weeks of marriage, Mickey never had felt closer to really wanting to hug or kiss his wife. He looked at the manila envelope and kissed it. She'd saved him. It was pure dumb luck that she'd miscarried, but he wasn't questioning it for a second.

He jumped up from the bed, carefully tucking the papers into his underwear in case Terry was home and put an ear to the door to listen for Terry's drunken ass stumbling around. When the coast seemed clear, he rushed over to Mandy's room to tell her the news. Without even knocking, he burst through the door coming across Mandy sleeping pretty much naked on her weather-beaten mattress. She was listening to music through one earbud, heard him barge in and turned, covering herself with a blanket and shouted.

"Ever heard of knocking fuckface? I thought we established some pretty fucking crystal clear rules after all the times I've walked in on you fucking wacking it."

She noticed the bulge of the envelope in his sweats, laughing almost, "What happened Mick? The Blue Fairy come and grant your wish of having a 10 inch cock?"

He shut the door behind him and rushed over to the bed. "Shut the fuck up." A punch nailed her in the arm and he lowered his voice. The envelope was pulled carefully out of his waistband with the note in tow. "I found this this morning when I woke up. It's from Svetlana." He handed her the note and she scanned it quickly, smirking when she reached the end.

"Well I'll be damned. You are one lucky little SOB." She playfully shoved him, smirking darkly, "a lucky SOB with a little help."

Mickey raised an eyebrow skeptically and the smirk disappeared from his face. "The fuck you talking about?"

She leaned back and stretched her arms over her head, yawning, before pulling the covers over her exposed breasts again. "Do you want the bullshit answer or the 200 proof?"

"200 proof. No bullshit, what do you know?" He was clearly serious and worried about the horrible things Mandy might have done to Svetlana to get her to leave. "Please tell me you didn't run her over like that bitch Karen."

Mandy laughed. "No assface. I learned my lesson with that one."

He smirked and raised an eyebrow before continuing with feigned enthusiasm, "Oh really? What lesson was that? Don't run over your enemies with vehicles unless you're sure it will kill them with no evidence?"

"Well yeah, that's a given, but I didn't run your little wifey over with the Mercury."

"Then what the hell did you do to her to get her to leave and lie and say she miscarried?"

Mandy scoffed, "Oh that wasn't a lie. I saw that shit this morning."

Mickey rubbed his fingers on his temples and continued, "Alright gonna try to block that mental image out of my mind forever. Anyway, I still don't fucking see how that has anything to do with you."

She rolled her eyes, "Alright, I guess I'm gonna have to fucking spell it out for you because you're clearly a fucking idiot."

"Hey, hey."

"Oh calm down Ira, I'm kidding….kind of." She laughed before leaning over to her book bag tossed carelessly on the ground. Reaching inside she pulled out a little pill bottle. It was empty. "You know Johnny Totenheimer? The loser you gave atomic wedgies to in middle school? Curly hair, coke bottle glasses?"

"Sorta rings a bell."

"Yeah well he works over at the clinic downtown. I gave him a few hummers and rocked his little virgin world, he swiped some pills from the doc's stocks. Abortion pills. He got me some of those babies, pun intended, I crushed that shit up and put it in Svetlana's eggs last Friday, Sunday and Monday and Presto! Baby-B-Gone."

Mickey couldn't believe his ears. He always knew Mandy was a little off, which to be quite frank, was to be expected of a Milkovich, but first running over Karen Jackson and now making Svetlana miscarry to get her out of here? She was turning into a vicious little bitch, not that he was complaining.

He scratched his head and a few dandruff flakes floated down onto the comforter, "So let me get this straight. You spiked my wife's food with abortion drugs to make her shit the fetus out?"

Mandy nodded, "Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it."

Mickey chuckled and shook his head, "Yeah, remind me not to piss you off. I don't want to wake up with my balls cut off and shoved down my throat."

Playing along, she feigned surprise, "Damn, that was my next big plan too. Now I'll have to stick to giving the sluts in my English class Ex-Lax.."

"You're a fucking psychopath, but you won't hear any complaints from me."

Just then, they heard a pounding on the door.

"Mandy! Open up, it's Lip. I need to tell you something. It's about Ian."

They shared a look. Mickey started getting up to run to the door, but Mandy caught him, "Assface, do you want him to know?"

He shrugged and shook her off, "Bitch, you know he already knows. Ian tells that asshole everything. No use playing pretend if we all know what's up. Let's go see what the douchebag has to say. If he pisses us off, I punch him. Okay?"

Mandy smirked, "He looks better with bruises anyway."

"Oy vey, you're a fucking piece of work."

Lip pounded on the door again. "Come on, I know you're in there. Get the fuck out here."