The Things I Could Never Say

This story consists of three separate ficlets, all written in Ginny's POV.

Let You Down

The pages of my journal are filled with teenage melodrama and dried tears, and the ink is smeared in all of the right places. The words run together in angry fragments, showcasing my unjustified ramblings, and it further proves my lack of direction.

I heard that you wonder why I sit in corners, scribbling furiously into a tattered notebook, my eyes hooded and hidden from the world.

It's because there is so much to tell you. But I'm so afraid to let you down.

I don't want to let you down.

I heard that you wonder why the laughter is gone from my eyes, why the smile you used to love no longer graces my lips.

It's because your eyes are still alight with love, and I can't bear to let you down.

I don't want to let you down.

I heard that you still believe that there are no accidents, no mistakes. Nothing is chance, nothing is fate.

But I was chance. I was fate. And I know that someday, you'll look back and realize that I was your biggest mistake, your favorite mistake.

And then you'll know. You'll know the words I could never say, the smile I could never put in place.

You'll know, then. I never wanted to let you down.

I'm just going to let you down.

Shining Star

It's not me. It's you. It always has been.

I used to tell myself that tomorrow would bring better days, filled with sunshine and laughter, happiness and truly genuine smiles. But I've always been a wishful thinker.

Especially when it comes to you.

I used to think that you'd change. That maybe one day, you'd open your eyes and see me instead of her. That maybe, just maybe, it would be my smile that would melt your heart.

I used to stare up at the stars, carefully scanning the sky for the brightest. And sometimes, when I found it, I'd wish for you.

But the stars were always too far away. They were never within my reach.

Kind of like you.

You've always been a world away from me. You tell me that I'm the only one who understands you, but I don't. You're that brilliant shining star burning in the sky, and I'm just another speck on the ground.

I think I like it better that way.

Fire

Sometimes I can still feel it burning, rekindling scorched ashes into burning embers. The old anger ignites a fire within my chest, smoking, burning, and finally smoldering into nothingness.

Smoke is thick – air is scarce, and there is no time to breathe.

It consumes me, like nothing I've ever felt before. Cackling and snapping, it burns like fire and disappears in small, white wisps of smoke.

Heart beating wildly, erratically, breath coming in short, uneven gasps – maybe I'm falling slowly and rapidly all at once. Maybe I can't stop. Maybe I'm not supposed to stop.

You look into my eyes, and see the flames dancing within them, taunting you, frightening you. Fire burns within the depths of my soul, eradicating yesterdays that never really existed at all, and extinguishing the hopes of tomorrows that seem highly irrelevant now.

A smile is tugging at the corners of my lips as I watch the smoke rise into the sky, finally vanishing behind blackened clouds.